Haruka's Diary
Chasing After Rainbows: December 2010

20 December 2010

Alternate Dimension (Part 64)

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Kotomi's unexpected immediate departure after attending the funeral of Nanami's family on the same day as her arrival left Itsuki and I speechless, but at the same time relief our fears of the possibility of bringing her to our parent's house as there's the mess and questionable things left lying around in there. Our parents already knows about Itsuki's change of appearance when wearing his work attire (mother is always at home when Itsuki comes back), but they were not told to not say anything about it to Kotomi. Her graduation day is just a few months away, so I'm guessing that she is busy preparing for her final exams or project. I don't know when exactly her graduation day is, but I know the school year there starts in September instead of April here.

Our parents already see Itsuki and Kotomi like a married couple since they first met the latter. They say having a girl who is pretty, with grades far better than him, and her loving him like she can't live without him without caring about his appearance is quite hard, especially without itsuki doing much with a lot of competition. If you didn't know about Kotomi's family, you might easily mistake her to be a single child of a well-off family for having an uncle in a top position of a well-known company who sees her like a daughter that might succeed him and being the top in her middle and high school.

Mom: "You two are back already? where's that Miyazawa-san? You said she's flying in from America today. Is she with her family?"

Itsuki: "Well, she wanted to go back to her university as soon as the funeral ended. I'm not sure why myself. Oh, we were caught in the rain, so we should..."

Mom: Oh, yes right.

Itsuki and I share the same room, and mom was the one who said so. She saw me as the daughter she had wanted, and being the same person as the son she gave birth to instead.

Being in that room with him feels strange: he's the opposite gender as me and gets attracted to, but he's me too. He has used that seemingly normal looking computer on the study desk to control what I know and how I would behave. So far, he made me know more things than Kotomi and work related things. We had also gave up trying to hide secrets as we would know what the other learnt or knew, including passwords and number codes, so he can't surprise me unless he's doing it without thinking or when I'm sleeping. At the corner of the room, a white coat and... why are there female clothing besides the Mizuho uniform?

Itsuki: "Ah! Well, some of these are what I found myself wearing underneath the uniform while removing, and the rest are... either bought while at Mizuho, or borrowed from you."

Sometimes I wonder if he is crazy or is forced to do it.

Me: ""Borrowed" from me? You just took them from my house near here without telling me. Well, I guess it's okay with me... but wash them when it gets dirty."

Itsuki has access to my penthouse that was completed some years ago. I wanted the whole family to move there, but my parents doesn't want to. Itsuki is staying at the old house only because he doesn't want to be lonely, but does drop by my house as there are many things there.

My car that was given to me by the Hatsuya Institute is parked at the basement, but Itsuki uses it to go piratically anywhere where there is parking space, without my permission. I couldn't stop him from using it as the car's security could not tell the difference between me and him. There's a feature where only I could do is to tell where the car is or summon it to anywhere, and driving without controlling or being in the driver's seat. I don't think it's even possible to try this, but you can't crash the car into anything: the car would analyze the surrounding area so that you would have full control of the car unless it detects unsafe driving or about to be crashed into by an external thing, where the car might seem to not respond and doing its thing until the danger is over. Some fine-tuning needs to be done to prevent over-reacting, but it's hard to tell when the car is actually adverting danger while trying to look as though you aren't in any. I don't know how it can be upgraded to not look dated after a few years.

Author's note: Sorry if it's shorter than usual. I have many end-of-the-year things to do and can't really think about what to write. What you see above is actually completed the previous week and never got to be published until now.

06 December 2010

Disorientated Feelings (Part 34)

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Being the head of this branch for some time not only means that I know more of my staff, especially the senior ones, but also my set of personality differences for family and work gets blurred. The office is filled with copies of certificates I received, and family photos. I've been here for almost a decade to have me decorating the place, but most of the things do not belong to me. They either belong to the company or the supervisors of this branch before me. Golf and traveling brochures hidden in the drawers serves as a reminder of how much they do not care about the staff. My picture at the end of a row of portraits of supervisors who had been here, and their years in office below the picture in the frame, tells me that I'm the first female supervisor here and had been in office for longer than each of the previous supervisors. Although that's a fact, I don't actually care about that, but my colleagues (including from headquarters) kept praising me for it. The years those men served are actually short compared to other branches, and the staff who had been here earlier than me said that they did not care about the staff's welfare.

When I try to look or think about my children, I somehow couldn't get my mind to register anything about them besides the order they are born in and the faint feeling of me and my husband's presence combined. Itsuki doesn't seem to have this problem I'm facing as he doesn't understand my disability. I can't hear the voices of the children too, and don't know what curse or illness I'm having as I don't have that problem with other people's children. Why is it preventing me from knowing my own children? It's so bad that Saeko was tasked to help me. That, and the recent revelation of what happened to Itsuki at work since college days, and the possible strangeness inherited from me, it's hard to tell what my children would be like when they grow up. Hopefully not like my youngest brother, Kousei: he developed a severely mismatching behavior and is physically weaker than his peers.

When my staff visit my office, the thing that catches their eye when looking at my certificates is that I have a first-class degree of a well known university in California, with photos attached as proof that I really did attend there. Sometimes, I am shocked of my own achievements. The exams I took felt unnaturally easy: I didn't understand the questions well, but I get high grades for the answers I wrote or have the best answer to automatically come out of my mouth (complete with hand gestures to go with it). It has been like this since I was born, so I can't say if this is not normal, or if my brain and body is has its own behavior separate from my mind.

03 December 2010

How to NOT be well known

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From what I have discovered as I wonder around, here are some things that publishers/broadcasters do to indirectly say that they do not want to be well known or make more money. That is, assuming that the subject in question has nothing wrong with it.

  1. Use "copyright infringement" as an excuse to remove free promotion by others.
    1. With these videos removed, fewer people would know about it, and popularity dropped
    2. People who have heard about the takedown might have lost interest about the subject that has been removed and would boycott any future releases of the subject concerned, or even the party that has requested the removal
    3. If (1) doesn't happen, they might just block it, place ads, or mute the audio.
  2. Limit viewing to only certain countries and a few others. People from countries outside the allowed places can't view them, even if the person viewing it is form the allowed country, but on a holiday or working/studying overseas.
    1. Munchy Crumbs
    2. iCylinder
    3. Koro (葫蘆)
    4. Smiling Moving Pictures
    5. ...many more
  3. Making multiple point of views of the same timeline of events to fill in the gaps.
    1. Nakunaru no Toki wa
    2. Depression of Cool Temple
    3. Relying Sky
    4. Play-biting
  4. Annoying/Unnecessary/Redundant dubs/subs. And maybe make a lot of alteration from the original, including changing the opening and ending themes.
  5. Targeting only certain markets, and ignoring those from elsewhere despite popularity
If you're wondering why I'm writing this, one of my accounts of (2.2) has been suspended for (1) after (1.3) happened. I still have the videos that were taken down, but I don't plan to upload them back up. (1) is designed to protect from being plagiarized (copying and claiming as theirs), but what they have done says otherwise.

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中野区, 東京都, Japan
帰国子女 英語能力は堪能。趣味はアニメや漫画やプログラムコードを編集。通常、あたしの小説を英語で書いてです。Grew up abroad &travelled to different countries. I write my own fictional novel on my blog.