Haruka's Diary
Chasing After Rainbows: December 2011

30 December 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 81)

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Kotomi has made it clear that she doesn't want to be a housewife, contrary to what most woman usually do, but that's declining in recent years with many married couples. Well, this isn't exactly surprising to me as she seems to be the career woman, but relaxed enough to think about family. If she works at what she's interested in, she could do well in it. Although, working environment and treatment by co-workers are contributing factors.

It seem that almost right after Kotomi said that she doesn't want to be a housewife on being married, Hatsuya as informed me and Itsuki that our working schedule might change. I was originally meant to do everything, but because my schedule includes being Mizuho student and Powell boss, which can't be changed, those times, including the buffer period around it, would have Itsuki or someone to take over. The children would have to be trained to not rely on their parents too much, but at the same time not doing it cruelly.

Maybe it would be less of a burden if the child who is old enough to take care of themselves be able to take care of their younger siblings, but someone whom they see as a parent is needed to be present to ensure that they don't get out of hand. The main problem is that both Itsuki and Kotomi look like the kind of couple who doesn't seem to know how to handle their own children. However, they noted that I seem to be giving out the same "aura" as Itsuki, so the children could also see me as a parent too, and Hatsuya could directly help me in taking care of them. I could understand that they could think of me as their father as a young child, but as they get older, what would they think of me as? Hopefully as their aunt or something.

Of course, the children in question have yet to exist at the present moment.

582nd post: Christmas? New Year?

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It's about 4-5 days after Christmas, and just another 2-3 days to New Year of 2012.

I don't celebrate Christmas to begin with, and I now have a hectic schedule that everyday seems the same to me. With me hardly watching the TV or listening to the radio these days I never even heard any Christmas songs at all. On top of that, Christmas day falls on a Sunday, and it seems no different from any other weekend.

In other words, Christmas is a non-even to me. I don't know if I would be up for the New Year countdown.

You know, this is actually my first time in a long time that I'm not away, and actually at home.

I brought this up because someone I followed on Twitter who is also following me said that I (or someone else named Haruka) am a bad girl for ignoring Christmas.

23 December 2011

Teary Promise (Part 12)

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If Hisakawa said that she had met my brother inside Mizuho, she must have known about his body changing. I mean, my brother and I go to the same school and, having seen a recent picture of me and my family (most likely the one taken during my entrance ceremony day last year), and knowing that me and my brother could look like the other if one of us tries to dress like one. I've seen my brother returning home directly from Mizuho, and if people saw him, they could easily mistake him as me in my school uniform, though he looks a bit different and I'm not well known enough on top of that for something to possibly happen. What I'm afraid of is not knowing if Hisakawa has already told my mother about it.

Also, I knew I had the sense of familiarity when I first saw her on the plane, because she's the same person as the computer club president that I met at the Kamisugi High school festival. Her wearing a name tag that clearly reads as "Haneda Kanade" even though her name is something completely different is very distracting. I didn't dare to ask her about it.


When I woke up, my mind wondered where I was until I remembered that I was in the hotel on a school field trip. It's like I had been booted up without my memory loaded until later on. When my senses came about, I heard the shower being used. There's no one besides my mom's big boss sleeping in the same room with me, so it should be her. I walked past the bathroom door and...

The door wasn't closed, and Hisakawa-san is visibly taking a shower while still wearing the same thing I saw her wearing the whole of yesterday. Who on earth take a shower with their clothes on?! Is she crazy?!

Hisakawa-san noticed me and turn the tap off. Her clothes seem unusually dry considering that water was splashed on her whole body just a few seconds ago. Huh? Am I seeing things? She's as dry as if she didn't take a shower at all, but there's water splashed around her, including the floor she's standing on.

Hisakawa: "Er... This uniform is somewhat like my skin. That's why the water bounced off, or you never saw me changing out of it. I can assure you that this outfit handles all the things my body needs by itself without me doing anything as..."

I didn't get what she said to me as she used terms I wouldn't expect to hear from her, or be mentioned the first thing right after waking up. From what I understand, she can't do anything about what she wears.

Hisakawa told me more of herself: her body is biologically around my age, but is actually 6 years older. She seemed to have be cursed by something that doesn't allow her to age or die. I didn't know such thing exists in real life, though things in my life has somewhat become illogical since I first witnessed my brother being transformed into a girl.

Hisakawa added that she cares more about Hatsuya more than Powell. Everyone knows that Powell competes with Hatsuya, but hearing that form the very person who founded that company to prefer a rival company over her own is something.

Me: "Are you saying that your staff disagrees with you?"

Hisakawa: "To tell you the truth, I never founded that company: A me of an another dimension did. Although it was officially founded 10 years ago, it never actually existed in this dimension until 4 years later. I was already working for Hatsuya before its sudden existance in this dimension. Of course, Hatsuya has a way of identifying their staff from a different time and dimension, and knowing if something has happened to them. Hatsuya is aware of my situation with Powell, but not the opposite."

It took me a while for me to get what she just said.

Me: "Huh? Powell did not exist until 6 years ago? Wasn't mum working for it for longer than that? I also remember Powell being mentioned from that time too."

Hisakawa: "Well, when the company suddenly existed, people's memories were also modified to not notice its sudden existence. The site it sits on before it appeared is, like what the company history says, was a large abandoned mansion, just simply untouched for a bit longer. The Powell employees could possibly be working for a completely different company just the day before it happened. If I'm not wrong, your family moving to your current house could be the result of this. Your mother could possibly be a housewife or was working for a company near where you previously lived. You could say my actions caused this, but, in truth, I have no control over it or knew that this would happen. I'm afraid I don't know how to undo it too."

I don't know if she's lying or not as having people's memories modified, including things associated with it, is hard to prove. I mean, if my memory has been modified already, I wouldn't know what it was like before it happened, especially if there were no hints pointing to it. Then again, my family moving to a town far away from the capital I grew up in is a hint. I don't even know if my own life is real or a super advanced system where every single object has it's own physics and texture rendering even more advanced that the latest video games I know of.

Hisakawa must be a strong person to comfortably manage something a normal person would find too much.


After breakfast, students were briefed of the itinerary. Due to the amount of students, they would go in their own groups when traveling in a large group is a bad idea, especially through crowded urban areas. The students were glad that they could form groups with students of other classes. For safety reasons, groups with less than 5 female students each should have a school staff. Male students could travel in groups of 2 or more without a need of a teacher, though the group can include female students. This means that a group with only 3 females without a teacher is allowed only if at least 1 male student or another 2 female students joins them. There is no gender ratio specified. This is also an obvious opportunity for couples to be together, except that I don't have anyone.

Students who aren't in any groups could form a team with each other, or join with a school staff, including ones who are already part of an another team. Of course, there are some specific needs, or someone a student can't join with. It sounds complicated to sort out, especially since the students are free to choose whoever they like and weren't grouped before the trip.

I would like to talk about the new things I encountered, but this is about me and not a travel guide of a city I'm not familiar with.

Not having any males that I know of, I joined a group of girls that had people I meet regularly. I mean, I would like Takuya to be with me, but he's... passed on. We went to a lot of places, but the excitement isn't exactly there with the people I'm with. It's hard to get over this sadness, but I still have my feelings attached to him.

13 December 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 43)

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It has been about a year since I had injected the solution made from some bits of me. Sure enough, my husband did become pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby girl with no abnormalities. Since the presence of anything genetically male during the child's development being completely absent, it's not possible for the child to be a boy at all.

This is my first child I could see with my own eyes: the children I gave birth too seemed to have gender-specific things appear censored to me for some odd reason, so I don't know if I have any sons. Now, I could actually know the name of the newborn child. Yuko (name of my husband in his female form) could see this child too. It would be a strange scene of two women having a child that resembles the both of them with no adult males involved. In this case, the mother of the child is the one who gave birth to it, which is my husband. It's can get confusing because the husband and wife (me) are each both a mother and father at the same time, but seemingly normal if you put it in terms of the more general parent and child.

During the child's development, Yuko seemed sad that she became pregnant, but appeared to have been expecting it to happen for quite a while. Yuko seem to have known she could become pregnant any time as the Mizuho uniform made her completely female and only has the uniform that would protect her from being raped, but the uniform itself keeps making the wearer strongly aroused on a regular basis on top of having to behave as if there's nothing wrong, though you could tell from their body behavior that appears as if needing the toilet urgently, but having no intention to go there (If this happened within Mizuho campus, it would be more obvious). It would appear strange if Mizuho girls talk to each other when this happens to all of them at the same time, but yet make no mention of it at all despite being so obvious.

12 December 2011

Dad, we don't need a car

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Dad, I want you to sell the car instead of getting a new one for the following reasons:
1. Tax
2. Depreciation in car value over time
3. Maintence costs, including other expenses and inconviences that may happen because of it.
4. Cost of fuel rising and pollution it causes
4a. Calculating the cost per liter, and fuel consumption, it's already clear that a train fare of the same distance is less.
5. There is a direct train form the house to the workplace, and the time you head to, or leave from, work is within operation hours.
6. Parking and toll fees
7. I usually never hear you taking the public transport.

Don't you see the expenses? You probably don't as total price per trip is not shown in your face. Can't you at least see the price of fuel and parking at least?

I don't know how much more money there would be in the household as you had drove cars for about 15 years now, and a motorcycle for some number of years before you married mum.

05 December 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 42)

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Quite some amount of time has passed since I found out about the big secret about me that even I didn't know about. My relationship with my children hasn't really changed since then, but the atmosphere with Itsuki does. I don't know if we are a married couple, or a group of friends hanging out together. I'm confused, especially when the family appears to be made up of three women, some children, but no men. Dig further and you would find out that those three women were previously men, but the children did come from one of them.

Since then, I see gender differences as nothing more than the role played in making an offspring. Nothing more. Studying science since young, I know about this, but I never thought that it applies to me too, though it does help to be knowledgeable about my feelings and not let it take over me. I don't like wearing gender-specific clothes, but being a woman, the shape of my bust is permanently visible no matter what I wear. I don't like it, but my life would be in danger if something wrong happens to these annoying things. Also, I may have longer life expectancy than men, but I could die if something wrong happens during childbirth. Having experienced those a few times, I could say that it's insanely painful. It seem like a sad fate by mother nature that females are designed to give birth to their offspring, and can't do anything about it on her own if  a male makes her pregnant.

I was at my workplace when the receptionist told me that somebody from headquarters wanted to see me personally at one of the rooms that I know are vacant with nobody likely to visit it at this time. She didn't say who it was other than them having a position higher than me. Who could it be? What did I do?

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中野区, 東京都, Japan
帰国子女 英語能力は堪能。趣味はアニメや漫画やプログラムコードを編集。通常、あたしの小説を英語で書いてです。Grew up abroad &travelled to different countries. I write my own fictional novel on my blog.