Haruka's Diary
Chasing After Rainbows: 2009

31 December 2009

459th post: Unfinished tasks

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It's New Year's eve. There's simply too many things to do. The review of 2009 anime I mentioned about in the previous post (or was it a tweet?) is incomplete and it has not progressed between the time I started writing this post (31 Dec) and since I started on Sunday (27 Dec). I don't have the "must complete this by the midnight of New Year's day" urgency, but I don't want it to be done as late as February either. I know it's late, but I'm very busy with more important things (like work) at the moment. So busy that I can't even go online (My tweets come from mobile phone, as tagged by "from txt" on them), which is why you have seen me drop a lot of anime or did not pick up.

I've seen the trailers for the Winter 2010 anime. Although not much, it's enough to immediately spot anime that I would like. One of them is Durarara (top image), replacing Darker than Black: Comet of Gemini's timeslot. (The scene where a guy stomps on a mobile phone in front of girls is WTH? There's even a short display of a cardboard Holo from Spice and Wolf)

Speaking of trailers, all the anime produced by SHAFT (including Negima!? and Bakemonogatari) have this thing in common that, over time, I find annoying. Which means that I'm not likely to pick an anime from them in the future or has the OP/ED song done by a particular band. I've nothing against these two, just my personal preference.

Don't be surprised if I post the Winter lineup as late as March! LOL. (^O^)/

25 December 2009

458th post: Stuff too long to Tweet

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There's been a lot of things happening to me these days that's hard for me to manage without sacrificing one for an another. Yes, what I mentioned back in April still applies now.

Anime Lists
I'm aware that some 12-episode Autumn 2009 like 乃木坂春香の秘密 ぴゅあれっつぁ♪ (Haruka Nogizaka's Secret: Pleasure), 空中ブランコ (Sky Jump), and DARKER THAN BLACK -流星の双子 (Darker than Black: Gemini of the Meteor) has ended recently. Due to my lack of time mentioned earlier, I've completely committed anime whose storyline goes around nowhere or awfully slow. I would like to write a review of the 2009 anime (including 24-episode Autumn 2008 anime) quite soon. Hate to say this, but I've only watched a small fraction to know what the anime is about and even fewer that I didn't drop mid-way. There are odd cases where I like an anime I dropped earlier (Spring 2006 broadcast of Haruhi) and dropped more than once and/or after the entire series/season has ended (Setokai no Ichizon, White Album, Hayate no Gotoku). Looking at the Winter 2010, only Baka to Test to Shōkanjū, Sora no Woto, and Nodame Cantabile: Finale seemed to have attracted my attention. It's ironic that for Nodame, I've dropped the second season, but watched the live-action version that had the same storyline.

Free time
On top of the cold I'm having now (strangely,on my off days too since middle school), I never had a proper holiday since December 2005. Everything surrounding me is full of misery. Missing things by just a short moment and waiting a long time for the next, people being angry at me for something that doesn't go to their narrow-minded ways or wasn't even my fault to begin with and assume otherwise. To those who didn't know, my reaction time is slow, and I can't seem to apply what I know in actual use. One of them being my writing skills and communication skills are completely different: I can't seem to use difficult words when talking to people, but I could in writing. Sadly, since I can't think while under pressure, I also don't perform well in exams, but quite good during practice. I've not checked if it's true, but it feels that my intelligence level drops each time I fall ill or had my head banged against something hard enough to feel pain.

There are so many things I want, and so many unwanted stuff I have lying around. The problem is that I'm undecided on throwing out stuff I don't use now (apart from the obvious trash). The urgency of doing this is that I'm lacking space and I mysteriously feel better outside the house, but sick again upon entering back, when I have a cold. There are mysterious bugs on the programs that I use that isn't suppose to happen, but it did. I've noticed that my early backup discs are having problems reading stuff, so I need to buy hard disks. The problem is how much do I need? A rough calculation says that if I were to use a 2.5TB drive, I would have about 10% of free space left. 2010 also means that, in the legal eyes, I would officially become an adult too, which is both a good and sad thing.

I would like to type more, but I don't have time now, so I should end here. It appears that I took almost 2 hours just to type all of this.

Disoriented Feelings Special: Izumi's Essay

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名前(漢字): 宮沢泉美
名前(ひらがな): みやざわ いづみ
表記(日本語): 私の冬休み

My older sister has been unusually happy in recent days with that guy I saw at her birthday party. She's 16 and I'm only 10, but my youngest sister is only 4. A 12 year gap between the youngest and the oldest. I'm in between my two brothers by 2 years.

When at home after school, I would play around with Kuniko and my brothers with toys shouting and screaming around. If they were to bully me and mom and dad are not around, Kotomi-oneechan would protect me from them because she is big and is like my third parent. Her room seems to be locked most of the time and she does not want to play with us. It's the only room in the entire house we don't get to play in.

It cold outside, so everyone doesn't feel like heading out. I like to go into the kotatsu while watching TV and eating some snacks at the same time with my younger brother. My older brother is preparing for middle school, so I should not disturb him.

Kousei: "Izumi onee-chan, I want to go somewhere during the holidays."

Me: "We should ask mom first. Kotomi-oneechan and Shin'ichi-oniichan are busy, so they won't be coming along."

I can understand my older brother not coming along, but not my older sister: even though she has no school activities or is not helping uncle out, she seemed reluctant to come along with us lately. She's still playing around with that new notebook PC and mobile phone she bought two months ago. It also seem that Jun'ichi-oniichan rushing to hide something when I approach him lately.

Kousei: "That's too bad. I wanted everyone to come along..."

We asked dad. He suggested the amusement park. Besides my older siblings, everyone would be going.

On the day itself, everyone gathered outside before heading to the train station. Mom brought Kuniko along since she's still too young to take care of herself.

Mom: "Kotomi-chan! Shin'ichi-kun! We're leaving now!"

There was no response from inside the house.

Dad: "Call us if you need anything!"

Still no response. Without waiting, we departed. I thought I heard Kotomi-oneechan shouting "Peace at last!" when we are some distance away.

Mom: "They were like you two when they were your age, but now, they have their own things to do. Things you might not understand until you are their age."

I never understood what mom meant at that time and it appears to be that there are more things she didn't say, with a sense of guilt in her tone.

The area around the station has many shops and offices around it. Dad bought tickets for the train. I mean, these cards are like magic: you would just wave them at an area at the gate and they would open by themselves. Though it seemed high and barely reached it, I want to do that again. Kousei actually almost did it by going around right after entering.

Dad: "Hey! The trains are that way! Come back here!"

The gates had a red cross instead of a green arrow we saw on the opposite side, though I did see gates with green arrows far away from us. Kousei probably did not notice or know that from the excitement he just had. My younger brother's action alone caused anger and confusion to the adults entering. Our parents apologised to the crowd for the inconvience he caused.

Many different kinds of people boarded the train. From children like us to an office worker to people in weird clothings. We saw many interesting things and places along the way.

I would like to talk about the amusement park itself but it seems that I had written a lot for this essay. Let's just say it was fun.

[Author's note: Izumi Miyazaya is the protagonist's oldest younger sister. What was not mentioned by anyone is that the age gap between Kotomi and her parents is less than 20 years, which explains Kotomi's confusion about her parents being so young compared to her peers and her birthday being earlier than the day her parents were married. This "essay" was dated 6 years prior to the current timeline at the time of writing. Oh, and Merry Christmas. I didn't really plan anything Christmas or New Year themed.]

19 December 2009

Disorientated Feelings (Part 24)

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I have been working at the current workplace long enough to know their names, their habits, and the things they do at work that they wouldn't want others to know, especially the boss.

I wasn't expecting something unpredictable to happen when I asked Itsuki and Saeko to help clear the things in my late cousin's bedroom I'm currently staying at when i started to work: not only did those two remote the unwanted stuff quickly, they even designed the entire house (except the rooms Nanami and my great-grandmother sleep in) to look as though a professional interior designer had done it. Also, Nanami and Saeko told me individually that they had met each other when my cousin came home early when the cleaning up was going no. Saeko admitted that she was the upperclassman at the computer club room as the club's president when Nanami went there to meet up with a club member, who is in the same year as Saeko, last year. Nanami saw through her change of uniform and hairstyle, adding to the fact that she had also saw Itsuki almost every Saturday. Nanami knew that there was something awfully familiar when they met each other at her family's funeral.

Sigh... Since Nanami is my cousin, and the other two are my boyfriends, I guess I would have to explain about those two. It's complicated and a long story to explain, but let's just say that Saeko is a female clone of Itsuki, of whom is my boyfriend. The problem is that my boyfriend's soul is stuck in the female clone's body, and the current Itsuki is someone else. I love the former, but she's now the same gender as me and have to in out with the latter if I were to tell people that I'm in a relationship with someone and, if i want to, to have our offspring to replace us when we die. The same as to what me and my siblings are to my parents. It's a sad fact of life. They would have to come out of me like how i came out of my mother.

I seriously don't know why I'm attracted to my boyfriend. He didn't do anything special to stand out from all the other guys. He didn't do well in school. He's not rich. He didn't even care about who i was until i crashed into him by mistake. But why do i like him to the point i made the first move? Seriously, what am i doing? Why can't i live without them? I thought there was something wrong with me, but my uncle (Kenjiro) told me some time ago that it's normal to have that for girls. You mean it's normal for me to be emotional and crazy when someone i love is gone? I don't like the sound of that. Then again, I'm too intelligent that i don't even know what my own body wants anymore. It's like the difficulty of communicating with children, even though i was a child myself.

On my 22nd birthday, Itsuki proposed to me and get married, which i wasn't expecting. We have already known each other for 7 years, and we are closer to each other than our parents. My siblings? I only see them as the other children my parents gave birth to as a result of my uncle's experiments. Well, that's what I heard, and nobody specific was mentioned. Speaking of my uncle's experiments, he has started it not long before i was born. He would pick volunteers or people he thought shouldn't be in prison as tests subjects. Since all experiments are top secret, the only experiments I knew of were the ones i was involved in and the declassified ones, including a device Itsuki was working on in may 2005. Nobody was killed or injured so far though, but enough for the rest of their lives to change significantly. Saeko was an odd case: she was a "let anyone who uses the machine" as a permanent test subject and "have them as a subject to further tests without they themselves knowing until it has happened". Wait, that largely explains the constant horrors she went through. She's scared because she doesn't know what and when it would happen and it would usually be against her will. She does receive a large sum of money for being the (unwilling) test subject on top of being an employee of the company that did all that to her. Saeko herself knows that she is now owned by the institute and that people are watching her thoughts all the time. I am somewhat guilty on that part for inventing it, but i didn't know my boyfriend's soul is in the clone instead of the original back then. I wonder what the current Itsuki did to her when I'm not around.

Saeko is taking care of the expenses from the house to how grand the wedding ceremony is. If you ask me, I don't mind a discreet simple wedding. I could sense the sadness behind Saeko's happy face: she's supposed to be 22, the same age as me, but her age is stuck at 16. It wasn't easy to find a place to call our new home with Itsuki, me, Saeko (out of my request), and my future children. Sure using Saeko's wealth to pay for our house means that i could pick a large house in an expensive residential area, but i want my future kids to be happy, interact with others, and not be spoilt.

We've finally found the place: it's a western-styled house (one i grew up in is traditional) that's quiet and peaceful. The train station and the shopping district is not too far away. The bus frequencies in the area are quite good too. To tell you the truth, I've never been here prior to viewing the house.

On the weeks prior to my wedding with Itsuki, i decided to have a rendezvous with Saeko without letting Itsuki know. As long he's not looking at the machine i sent years ago, he won't know what happened between us.

Before I could say anything, Saeko dropped into tears.

Saeko: "Remember the time we first met in 2004?"

Me: "Yes, I went for you instead of the guys who were crazy over me. I knew i saw something about you, but look at yourself: why did you become a girl and made a clone of yourself on top of that? Well, i knew it was accidental, but my heart refuses to take that as a reason. In fact, I can't see a pretty girl like you to be my boyfriend even though I knew who you were."

Saeko: "I am sad myself too. I was the target of several fatal attacks and I was forced to put on this irremovable competition swimsuit that somehow makes me immortal. I didn't ask for that, but I really want to marry you! I don't like whoever is occupying my former body, because he treats me badly. He even made me do things I didn't want to do with a look on my face that says that I enjoyed it even though I'm not! I don't know what to do with my life now! I should have died ages ago when those thugs strike a knife deep into me, but i mysteriously survived it without a scratch even though i thought i saw blood and felt pain when they stabbed me. What am i now? A test subject that can't die but can't do what it wants unless it's allowed or if there's nothing specified? I really wanted to be with you, but not like this... Uwaaa....."

Saeko has went through horrors far worse than what i had went through. There are so many things she can't do even if she wanted to. To tell you the truth, i don't know what to do to help her. I wanted to say that it's all her fault that all of this happened that caused the nightmare i went through, with me almost blinded and killed, but from what others and Saeko herself said, it was a work-related experiment that went wrong along with the cruelty of others.

Part 23 | Part 25

13 December 2009

Alternate Dimension (Part 39)

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At the end of the day though, I seemed to be one of the first few to leave as no matter how late it ended. The club president and my seniors who are in the same year as him, seem to have some kind of meeting right after I left. I tried to listen what they were discussing about, but they would somehow know that I'm trying to listen in no matter how discreet and well hidden I am that they would refuse to start unless I am very far away from them. They even know my various means to try to watch their meeting. Their excuse while chasing me away? "Hisakawa-san has fans that follows her around. Those people following her intrude on the club's peace and privacy if she were to be around!" I don't mind them going away, but why me instead? Either way, my seniors seem to have a liking of me and made me the "guaranteed" club president from my second year onwards. What was their criteria for picking me over everyone else? This however, was only known among my seniors and me until the time I would take over the current. Since then, they would quietly add senpai after saying my name. Did they find out that I'm actually a year older than them (instead of two years younger), or are they praising me?

Back to present, I'm still in contact with my parents, but when it comes to Itsuki... Well, I don't know what to say to him on the phone: my parents had quietly gave the phone to him without warning.

Itsuki: "So... um... hi?"

I hate to hear my former voice as though it's someone else's, but I would have to live with it for a long time.

Me: "Have you heard anything new from Kotomi?"

Itsuki: "Oh, her first college semester has just started. You know, that Stand**** University in California. The campus is so huge that she has trouble getting around without looking at the map or asking someone for directions. She added that she has gotten along with her friends well too."

There was an abrupt silence. I'm supposed to say something to fill it in, but instead, I sobbed: I could have entered university for about half a year by now, but nooo! They made me repeat high school for the rest of my life regardless of how well I did. This is just because of that teleporting machine at Mihara Academy in the summer of 2005 that went wrong and the later
events resulting of it.

Itsuki: "Um, she did say that she still likes me the most among the people she has met and would be in 2010, about 3 years from now. Saeko?"

Me: "Why don't you care about what I feel? Every time you show up in my car right in front of my friends, you..."

I deliberately hung up the phone at that point. I hate you. I don't want to see or speak to you either.


I was having a peaceful sleep when I noticed that I was being poked all over. It felt real, and it didn't match the dream I had at all. What made me wake up was that I was mysteriously forced to blush very excessively to the point of being unbearable.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the words of my previous thoughts staring right in front of me as was leaning forwards against something. Even though I could still move, I can't get away from that spot or even lean back. I feared the worse: being on the machine that allows someone else to modify my memories or even how I behave. What's even worse is that I can't get away from it once I'm plugged in. How did I get on it anyway? Surely I can't have sleepwalked to here. Oh? There's someone else in here!

???: "Ah, I see that you are awake now. I was wondering what happened to you when you called yesterday."

That voice from behind sounds familiar. Where have I...it's Itsuki! What is he doing here? How did he get in? Wasn't I the only one who could enter here? Wait! He can see what I am thinking right now!

Itsuki: "If you recall, you were a part of me and the only differences between us is our DNA strand that says what gender we are. I could get in here easily as the thumbprint and eye scanner thinks that I am you. As to what I'm doing here, I'm here just to collect infomation that
you have gathered for the past few years and doing other adjustments. You have been rebelling against me and the identical memories we share in common that are in you seem to be the root cause of it. Those angry notes you wrote to me the other day makes me want to do it more."

Like a pervert, he moved closer towards me with that creepy looking eyes. W-wait! What do you want from me? Aren't we like twins? Why would you want to attack your other half?

Me: "Information that I have gathered? Hold on! What are you... Gyaa!!!"

Itsuki: "I'm going to make you do what I want with no resistance. Ha ha ha!"

I'm afraid that this means I won't be myself: he might replace my current memories and put a fake one in it's place and not know that. Why on the morning of my birthday of all days?


The morning sun entered my eyes as I woke up from bed. Odd, I still know what Itsuki did to me a few hours ago, and I can still control myself. I thought he had tempered my memories to the point that I don't even know that it even happened. The machine I was on is missing now, which probably means he has taken it away.

(Author's note: Unknown to Itsuki, modification to Saeko's will is not allowed. Instead, it only modifies what she would behave and do in certain situations. On the outside, it would seem that she has been brainwashed, but if you were to read her mind, it would say the torture of doing what her body is forced to do, and might even be cursing the person who did it.)

Anyway, today is Saturday, September 29. Our 18th birthday. The birth certificate the director gave to me (for legal reasons) back in April, however, says that I was born on on the day I was cloned, with the year being 1992 instead of 1989 (original birth year) or 2005 (year cloned), making me 16. I was puzzled as to why people treated me like a VIP on that day.

After school, I stood against the school fence outside, as though waiting for someone. Why am I standing here? I can't get myself to continue walking. I saw Itsuki standing at a corner. What is he doing here?

Me: "Onii---chan!"

What am I doing?!! I feel like an idiot saying that, but those words automatically came out of my mouth as soon as I saw him. I ran towards him, jumped as I get closer, and grabbed a hold of him around the shoulder with my legs around his hips, all that while smiling happily. I would like him to get away from me as people are watching, but it's my body that's pressing against him and holding him tightly. Argh!!! This is mental torture! It's even worse than not being able to express my anger. Itskuki, why do you make me do this with a forced happy expression and voice? Is it for your own pleasure, seeing a part of you in a cute girl's body being happy towards you no matter what? Answer me!!!

Itsuki: "Saeko-chan! There you are! Umph!"

It seems that he did not notice my mind crying for help, or maybe he's pretending.

Itsuki: "Hey, you're no longer a kid and you have grown so big."

I know that! You don't need to tell me this!

Me: "I don't care big I have grown. I just want to hug my cool
onii-chan as much as I want."

No I don't, and I wasn't that cool-looking.

Itsuki: "Well, as long as you are happy, I don't mind. Let's take the train to downtown. It's my birthday today. Would you like to come along?"

I don't want to go with you. I just want to get as far away from you.

Me: "Your birthday? Sure, sure, I'll come with you."

Can't believe that I said that instead...

Chapter 9

04 December 2009

Alternate Dimension (Part 38)

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Person A: "We have only heard of your name as our founder and that you are at the Hatsuya Institute most of the time. That's all we know of you. No one here, including our employer and direct superiors, has seen you before. That particular design of your pass is only carried by important people in the company."

Is he serious?

Me: "How do you even know if I am the person you think I am? There aren't any photos of me in your company history, and you guys have never seen me before."

Person A: "Around the first time I saw you coming here, I saw lights and a silhouette of you against the window of the landlord's office facing the outside. That room is usually dark, and access to that room is only allowed with a thumbprint that nobody here has. On top of that, the pass is impossible to counterfeit despite how simple the pass looks. Yours is the real deal with a picture of you in it."

I should have turned off the lights. Then again, I don't know who walks past the outside or if there were attempts to enter my room.

Person A: "Excuse me, I have to go now."

Me: "Sure. If someone asks who I am and what I'm doing here, just say that I'm just a student of a nearby school visiting her divorced father who works here..."

This is obviously a lie.

Me: "... instead of what you found out who I am. If they said something about stopping me from coming again, show them this note from me as the founder. Don't say that the so-called schoolgirl visiting the father and the founder of the company are the same person, at least, not until I reveal it myself. I want to remain low-profile here. You can go now."

Person A: "Thank you Ms. Hisakawa. Please excuse me."

I took a closer look at my pass: I knew there was something different about my work pass, but me? Founded this company? I kind of know why I didn't show my face: my appearance, school and work. Nobody mentioned about it to me before as they don't know about it. The company seem to be able to run by itself without me, but since (they said that) I am the founder, I receive a large share of the money they make. I did not ask for it... Must be related to something i had been wishing for, but not really hope it would happen.

I should keep wearing that coat to prevent something like that from happening again. Just in case.


Here's what a typical day in the club is like before I would become the club president:

I am very prone to be asked by someone at anytime. Be it about helping their homework or something, meeting the teacher in the staff room, guys asking me out, and so on. Basically, the only time in school where I could hide without people calling me for something is at secluded areas or places where guys aren't allowed in. That reminds me: unlike my school in 2004, the rooftop is relatively easy to get to, so it's normal for the place to be crowded during lunch. There's a garden there too.

The clubroom is in a seperate building linked only by a covered bridge on the second floor and doors on the level directly below the bridge. I usually avoid going by the ground floor as it's sheltered only by the bridge.

Right next to the computer clubroom is the art club. From what I can see, they had done a lot of beautiful paintings. Sadly, it doesn't seem that there are not enough younger members to make up for the third years who are leaving next year, that is, if they don't recruit enough members within the first few weeks. The people standing outside my clubroom are my die-hard fans. Seriously, what's so great about me? You should have seen the crowd when I just joined: it was even crazier with the place looking as though a celebrity inside is having an autograph session.

Most of the time, there would be someone inside to greet me upon my arrival. Except for the folding tables and the long table at the front, all of the desks has a desktop computer on them. All of the computers have multiple operating systems installed. To encourage supporting various
platforms, the common OSes and programs are not of the default option. It wasn't my idea to implement this, but i would have done the same if I was in charge.

Of course, not everyday is about doing tasks. We do occasionally hang out together downtown and if they want to, conduct study groups. Since the latter is open to everyone, the place is mysteriously more crowded when I'm in it as compared to when I'm not (according to my club mates) or during the so-called "emergency members-only meeting". Since I'm the smartest, they are the ones who ask me for help.

Chapter 8 / 9

01 December 2009

453rd post: Things to do

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Time seem to fly by rather quickly for me lately. 2006 seemed not too long ago, "Clannad: After" seemed recent, "K-On! ep1" seemed like yesterday. I still can recall what I did in primary school and what places looked like back then. I mean, looking back, time seem to pass by very quickly. I thought we are still in November 2008.

Well, the lack of significant events and doing things that pass time does make it seem fast. Last night, I had the intent to head to bed at 11pm, but did not actually do so until 3am, a full 4 hours later. I did take a nap of some hours earlier though.

I'm doing so many things, I'm loosing track of what I'm doing. I may revert back to the previous version for the anime watchlist (without episode titles) since finding the titles itself is time consuming. My room is noticeably messy, no appetite to eat...

Speaking of not doing much, I did do some vectoring, but they aren't complete.

On the left (v0079) is something you might seen me put up before, but with more things added. The right (v0090) is something I'm in the middle of doing right now. In case you didn't know, there are 443 images currently in the waiting list, not counting images that I had already removed. I just don't feel like doing them, and switch my priority to writing my stories.

Speaking of stories, here's an updated and slightly redone timeline of and earlier version post.

As the story progressed, I found it unnecessary to have a 3rd dimension that is similar to the 2nd dimension. I'm having trouble thinking of what to write for the 4th story, have already forgotten what happened in the 1st story. 2nd and 3rd story could still continue on easily since I already have planned events and both are closely linked to each other. You might have noticed a 3-year gap between the latest parts of those two.

Anyways, I would like to type more, but it's now time for me to sleep. I don't know why I need 9 hours of uninterupted sleep. Most people usually need only 6-7hours.

27 November 2009

Alternate Dimension (Part 37)

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It wasn't that far from the hospital to my former house by car. The house still remained at its run-down state. I never talked about my parents because they have been away for so long and regularly that I don't really know them other than me looking like the both of them.

Itsuki: "Mom? Dad? I've brought someone with me."

A couple whose faces resembles some of me appeared. Yes, they are my parents, but, strangely, I still don't know their names after all these years since I only called them mom or dad. Other people would call them Hisakawa's wife/husband or just Hisakawa-san.

Mom: "Oh? A guest? Is she your girlfriend? I thought you already have another of the same age."

She was talking about Kotomi. It seems that Itsuki has brought her here with my parents around before. As for dad, he looked as though there's something about me.

Dad: "But she does look a lot like you..."

Itsuki: "You see, this girl was me right until the may of two years ago, according to the higher-ups at work."

Me: "I was working on something when something happened and i was transferred to an another world. A lot of things happened there, but when I tried to return back here recently, a problem happened that caused me to remain what i was back there as a new person."

On top of that, I also told them about the times we had when I was younger.

25 November 2009

Disorientated Feelings (Part 23)

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Now that I'm back from my university graduation trip, I have called Itsuki over to pick me up in that large car the last he picked me up. This time, I have carried all my stuff from the dormitory, the things I had bought and received since my first year there, and some souvenir for my friends and family in several luggage. It was a struggle just bringing it to the check-in counter from my friend's car back in California, and again from the luggage collection point here. So, taking the long train ride with all of these by myself is out of the question, and my family does not have a car. My uncle is obviously too busy with his work.

When I called him to pick me up before I boarded my plane, Itsuki sounded rather reluctant to do it. He did, however, tell me to wait at the back end (following the flow of traffic there) of the airport's pick-up point. His car should already be there, or less than an hour, after my plane landed.

I headed to the specified pick-up point. I do see that car, but not my boyfriend. Instead, it's that so-called sister of his, Mamiko, again. Of all people, why is this (near-)perfect girl here in his place? It's a long story, but she makes me depressed everytime I look at her. And what is that she's wearing now? It not casual clothing for sure, but except for the colours it looks quite close to a business attire.

Me: "Now Mamiko, where is he hiding this time?"

Saeko: "Erm, call me Saeko instead, his younger sister. That's what I'm known as here. Anyway, he's busy at work and couldn't come here. Since my school has ended for the day. He told me that you needed help to carry your luggage, so I brought my car along."

So that makes what you are wearing a school uniform. Wait, you're still in high school? I thought we were in the same year 4-6 years ago. You mean you are in the high school first year for the third time?! What were you thinking??? Then again, she looks exactly the same as though she never aged, except for that hairstyle. It's hard to tell if she doesn't ages until I get a lot older since the current gap is still too small to notice. But what about that car?

Me: "Your car? Do you even have a driving license?"

22 November 2009

452nd post: Replybots...

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Barely an hour ago, I replied to someone about Win7 RC being still usable until mid-2010 who commented on a screenshot I put up earlier when not too long later, there are some odd replies highlighted in red. Spambots obviously, they're worse than followbots.

(I know TwitterFox is now called echofon, but that screenshot was taken in Firefox 3.0.15 for Ubuntu 9.04. I hardly use it (or Win7 RC) lately. I sometimes log into Ubuntu to do my vectors as it detects the scroll feature at the side of the trackpad that mysteriously stopped working when I applied SP1 on the primary OS (Vista).)

21 November 2009

Alternate Dimension (Part 36)

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We arrived at Hatsuya General Hospital (筏谷総合病院), where Kotomi was working at and headed to the director's office. It was easier to get to from the basement parking lot than to the main entrance. I have been here before: I was brought here after the hit-and-run incident, and one of my classmates at the Miharu Academy was hospitalized here between February and May 2005 in the other dimension due to a coma. I don't know what she was like before she was hospitalized, but I was told that she is my childhood friend and between the time she was discharged and shortly before the summer holidays began, her behaviour has been odd as she doesn't seem to know who she is, let alone know other people. She still knows all the subjects that were being taught, except National History.

Before I knocked on the door, I heard the director's voice from inside indicating us to enter. How did he know that I'm right outside?

Director: "Those guys at the Gunma branch told me all about you: you were the Itsuki behind you right until almost exactly 2 years ago. Is that correct?"

Me: "Yes. That's..."

Director: "Well, they downloaded your memories and your bio right until your arrival here tells me that you have had a lot of things happening during those two years, including my niece's death that didn't happen here. What I'm more shocked about it is that, except for the lack of the Y-chromosome, your DNA with the Itsuki behind you are exactly the same."

It seems that there is more about me that he didn't say, though he did show my bio on the screen as he talked. Wait, did he indirectly said that Kotomi is still alive? Where is she?

20 November 2009

451st post: Oddly Tired

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I don't know what have I been doing lately that is making me sleepy and tired. I haven't been doing anything mentally or physically stressful to the point that I can't really think. Even if I could, I would be too sleepy by then and forgotten all about it by the time I woke up.

Haven't been posting much lately too. For the anime reviews, Railgun 6 is posted right after Railgun 5. As at the time of typing, Railgun 8 should be airing in a few hours, but I haven't even started Railgun 7.

I've lost track of what anime episode I had watched that I don't know how far behind it is, on top of anime like Kobato having some long break between episode 4 & 5. (Above image is from Sasamaki Koto ep7) I know IE9 is being officially planned, Google releasing some official info about the Chrome OS, Microsoft bans hundreds of thousands of modded Xbox 360s, Danny Choo now up to something, YouTube planning to release 1080p videos, and it's just too many things to keep up, but I didn't mention anything about it in the technology blog.

You may be wondering why is this post numbered 451 instead of 448 since, if you counted, the last numbered post is 444. No, I didn't skip numbers. The right screenshot is what I'm seeing now: I have unpublished stories that are not yet completed. It in fact follows the number you see at the top right (+1 when creating a new post). Come to think of it, I hardly post any non-story posts lately, partly because I tweet more frequently. You might also have notices S3P23 and S2P37 on 17 November, which are partially done as they are done from my phone, but with no references to earlier parts accessible at that time.

Speaking of accessibility, the current theme at my WordPress blog seems to have a mobile phone version, which is kind of useful. Main reason why I'm not moving there is that it doesn't allow me to insert any code I want without it being stripped down to the point that it's broken, edit the CSS of the theme without paying, confusing interface, and so on. I do sometimes use it to archive the stuff here and upload vector PDF version (instead of the PNG raster) of my traces.

I'm just tired and sleepy and haven't had enough (comfortable & uninterrupted) rest.

14 November 2009

Disorientated Feelings (Part 18)

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The day of the festival has arrived. I've brought my siblings along just to see what they could do there, or at least have fun there. To tell you the truth, I hardly know anything about them despite living in the same house and having the same set of parents. I wonder what do they see me as?

Thinking back, the weird school principal who called me back on my birthday last year seem to be telling the truth. I didn't believe him back then as the time-traveling part seemed too hard to believe. However, he also added that there is some hidden truth about myself that I should know nothing of, but will soon find out anyway. What does he mean by that? I don't find anything odd about myself...

As I was heading about with my duties as the organizing committee and as a student council member, I decided to drop by the computer lab. Sure enough, I heard my siblings' voices.

Izumi: "You mean that it will happen?"

12 November 2009

An Unexpected Wish (Part 5)

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A little info about Takuya's background: he is older than Nanami by two years.

In his first year, he was in the art club as a natural choice since he was in one during his middle school days. He paints beautiful paintings, some with the aid of his seniors. However, since the club did not meet the minimum amount of members after the seniors graduated, the art club had to be disbanded.

As a replacement for his 2nd and 3rd year, he joined the computer club as he sees programming in one of their activities as an art too by knowing how things would turn out, and how a small mistake can affect the whole thing. There was also a popular female student who is in the same year. She was kind, patient, beautiful and smart. She was so smart, she seemed as though she should have been in a prestigious school, like the Mihara Academy in a neighboring prefecture (it's well known across the country) or a university instead. She is also keeps her cool down in situations where people would normally be stressed up or be angry, like exams or projects. Despite all that, people could sense how serious she is without saying anything. That's probably one of the key points as to why she was chosen to be the president in the final year.

Her personal background info is relatively unknown, but there has been reports that she is sometimes seen leaving in an expensive car or arriving in it when she's late. Except for those times, she is seen walking by herself to a research center nearby everyday most of the time. When a deadline is given by an external party when it's nearing with much stuff not done or some major unexpected problem pops up at the last minute, she would be the last resort as to fix things in an instant. Nobody saw how she did it, but the finished product seem to be professionally done and completed in an instant. She did remind them not to use her as an excuse to be lazy though.

09 November 2009

Disorientated Feelings (Part 22)

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I know I had went back to Japan just to attend a funeral of a family of relatives, but Mamiko showing up to pick me up from the airport was really unexpected. The shocker is that she revealed that her mind is the original Itsuki from before the dimensional change. The current Itsuki is what would have happened if that event never took place, but he recognizes Mamiko as the original owner who was forced out.

What I'm puzzled about the most is the place where had she kept the luggage I had brought along back then. I left them with Mamiko, but I don't see her carrying it and it mysteriously reappeared when I needed something from it. Also, where did she acquire such huge amounts of money she gave to Nanami (the only living family member mentioned earlier)? That is an amount that only my uncle, Kenjiro, would be able to earn at his current job (without including expenses for family and taxes) in a few short months. I hope she didn't rob a bank or something. I'll ask her more questions when I arrive back after my university graduation quite soon.

After a long flight, I finally landed in California. The roommate who sent me to the airport earlier is here again to pick me up back to the dormitory in Palo Alto somewhere. I still don't know where exactly, since I only know it as, "this way, turn right here, head in that direction, the building over there, interstate 280, that restaurant, " and so on. I don't know how great my university is, but people are saying that it's one of the best in the word. It's like, "Really?" when I heard that. I've also heard that the headquarters of some of the largest, well known companies in the world are just across the nearby Bayshore Freeway where my university is located. It's that close?

07 November 2009

444th post: Differences from the manga and anime

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I recently bought the manga, I don't mind the chronological order being mixed up, but switching characters is very glaringly obvious. Especially episode 6.

Some unknown judgment girl has been switched with Komari during the searching scene. They are also searching at a bridge instead of a tree. I can understand a tree, but why a bridge?

Alternate Dimension (Part 35)

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Just after New Year's day in January 2007, I received some odd news from my company. I don't know if it's a good or bad news, but here it goes:
  1. It was found out that Kotomi I had known had returned to the original dimension since after the school festival in 2005.
  2. Although I am actually 17 and a half years old, my body never grew a day older since around that summer holiday. That means my body says that I'm still 16. What?
  3. Because of point 2, I can still learn and absorb new things better than my peers who are born in the same year as me in the latter years. That means that I would still appear, behave, and learn like a 16-year old even though I might actually be 70. Which also means, mentally, I can't be as mature as an adult. Ugh.
  4. I am highly likely to repeat high school for the rest of my endless life (I can't die even if a Hydrogen Bomb were to explode in front of me)
  5. The dimensional viewer range limit is now at infinite from the 1-hour range and, if necessary, communicate with the people there. They also made it possible for me to return to my dimension with control over it.
  6. The Kotomi in that dimension did made it into that American university.
Wait. Does that mean that I can return back to what it was before it all started? Just a typical poor miserable guy who is just a nobody? I want to go back: that messed up cloning ruined my life here in this dimension: Kotomi ignored me, those guys keep attacking me, guys following me like I'm some star, and I feel like an extra even if I'm out with just Saeko. And that house is too huge and posh for me.

The professor did the necessary arrangements and sent me back there, but not without asking some final questions. Heck, I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying as I just want to go back there.


03 November 2009

Alternate Dimension (Part 34)

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I haven't been seeing much of Kotomi for almost a year. I went to her house most of the time and none of he family members know where she went to. Her mobile phone has not been contactable too. I wonder what is going on in her mind? I'm worried. Oh, and when I talked to her mother, she appears to be hiding something from me when I asked, but she really doesn't know where she went. Wonder if it's something to do with what she mentioned some time ago about her having a secret that she herself doesn't know about. What is it then? But then again, some secrets are best not to know about. Still, I don't know anyone else that I could get along with.

The college entrance exams are approaching, Everyone is studying for it, with the criteria ranging from entering one of the best schools, to just being in the same university as their friends. Although people have high expectations of Kotomi and actually has a scholarship into one of the popular universities in America, which, to everyone's shock, she rejected.

Well, that was some time ago. Towards the end of 2006, I was shopping for Christmas presents for everyone when I noticed a huge crowd being gathered at one of the widest grate-level crossing ever know of. I was too far to tell what was going on, but I did hear shouting. The shouting mysteriously stopped when a train went past here, which applied emergency brakes almost immediately. I heard the crowd gasp and the train sounding the horn shortly before that happened though. It seems as though someone was hit. I took a look at who it was and...

31 October 2009

441st post: Status of my Vector Tracing

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I know I haven't been vectoring much for almost half a year now due to me having the lack of time to do them. Some of them include:
  1. My job (it's a mental torture out there)
  2. Typing my stories here and an organized (not necessarily corrected) version of it at Wordpress
  3. Some updates here and there
  4. Twittering (though mostly when I'm out)
  5. Some game at Facebook
  6. Accumulated unwatched anime because of no. 1
  7. Organizing (and playing) music and video files
  8. Traveling, because of no.1 and where idiots colleagues, friends, and family drag me to
  9. ニホンゴノウリョクシケン (no really)
  10. Eating and sleeping. Although I eat at the computer or while doing other things, I don't know why I my body needs 9 hours of (uninterrupted) sleep even though I'm almost an adult. And that feeling from the lack of sleep (or continuing on when my body wants to sleep) is a torture.
  11. not in the mood
  12. too freaking complicated and might give up mid-way
  13. Finding a suitable theme for no.2. I like the current one with it's clean and simple layout and mobile-friendly support, but navigating to my stories and vectors there is horrible if you don't know where they are. (Even I don't know where they are. Links in no.12 was possible because I visited the page before in my default browser.)
  14. Editing and uploading videos and quietly put them up. (link to the other account if something happens to the other) So quiet that I don't even mention anything about it here or at Twitter.
  15. and so on....
This does not mean I will stop doing them completely though, but just when I feel like doing so. However, the rate of finding potential images to vector trace from is growing faster than just doing one of them. There are 300 images on the waiting list, more than triple of what has already been vectored.

30 October 2009

Alternate Dimension (Part 33)

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Well, this thing would be useful if I could check further back/towards the past/future than one hour from the present time, like 10 years. Even so, there's nothing I can do currently to help Kotomi with her situation, as though it will happen the exact same way regardless of what she tries to do to prevent it. Kotomi is too depressed to talk to anyone right now. She did try to tell her family about it, but they think that she's just having a nightmare or something.

I was playing with this thing on my way home to spot anything interesting. So far: nothing, except that I would be in an area of the house I rarely go to within an hour. You can say that my house is huge, but I have only been to the area around the entrance, which forms a small percentage of the total area and have never explored the rest since acquiring it.

Hold on... does that mean that I will be doing the exact same thing later?

If i were to be thinking of doing something else, will that future change? Like doing my homework for example? Speaking of which, I have some to do.

...except that i don't know how to do it. I know what the topic is, but not the exact details. Saeko is now out with that (former) best friend of mine, so i guess i have to search for a book on it somewhere.

I headed to where I remembered seeing a lot of books: the study room. I find those easier and more reliable to search than looking up online, which are in bits and pieces.

The study room is filled with a lot of books, study desks, nice design, and so on, that you might mistake the place to be a college library, though still smaller than a regular public library. I still  can't believe that this house is legally mine.


Oh, that book up there looks like it could contain what I'm looking for. Let's...What?! I can't reach it? I was able to reach something that high just early this year... Oh, wait.

I looked down at myself: I forgot that I had turned into a girl back in May. How could i have forgotten that? Especially when changing or the voice that comes out of my mouth. Oh well, let's use that ladder over there to get that book.


There's something awfully familiar about this scene... Hold on! I saw myself doing this not too long ago and I'm doing it without realizing it! This dimensional viewer is too accurate that what i had dreaded to happen could most likely to happen.


Kotomi's behavior seem to have changed since the night after her school festival. I can understand: it's like you have disease or cancer and the doctor saying that there is no cure and have few short months left to live. For some unknown reason, she would prefer Saeko instead of me. I mean, what's the difference? Saeko's body was originally mine, but i'm mysteriously stuck in my clone's body. Wait. Does she know about this? Well, to anyone looking at us from the outside, there isn't any, except that I'm just an extra that nobody seem to care.

Chapter 7

[Modified: 1 November 2009]

26 October 2009

Minor stuff noticed in To Aru Kagaku no Railgun

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Those drinks... they look familiar... where have I seen them before? Let's have a closer look at the drink.

Curry Soup? Soup of the bear? Well, I don't remember the name, but I know it had that design.

Ah! It's one of the drinks that came out that had earlier swallowed Touma's 2000 yen note in Index.

The covers appear to be based on actual magazines, but let's focus on the bottom of where Mikoto is standing at.

Wait?! "Denki Daioh" with the cover of Shana??? About the Shakugan no Shana S OVA that just came out this month???

Speaking of Shana, this scene in the same episode reminds me of the Shana Anime when the Fuzetsu is activated.

These two images are of the same place, with the 1st image being chronologically later than the 2nd. However, there is no closet in the first image. (Note: Kuruko is on Mikoto's bed)

Let's zoom in at the study desk behind Kuruko's bed. Railgun makes the place look smaller than Index. The fridge is still there but the gap on the left-side of the bed is a lot narrower and where did the bed go in the 2nd image of this set?

Speaking of Saten and Uiraru, these two girls did make a cameo appearance in the opening and some scenes in the main episode (quite rare) of Index. Btw, who is that guy in the 2nd image?

18 October 2009

Disorientated Feelings (Part 21)

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Mamiko seem to know what I was thinking about and pointed at her hips. Huh? What is that supposed to mean? This car is an MPV and not a sedan, so I can see the load by just looking behind the back seat, but there's nothing there. And where on earth are the wires connected to the notebook PC on Mamiko's lap connected to? Certainly not the cigar lighter receptacle I see over there.

16 October 2009

438th post: Desires

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When was my last non-story/anime post here? 2 weeks ago.

There are so many things that I have been wanting to do, but didn't. Singing, playing the orchestra, meet up with friends, traveling to far-away places, etc., are to name a few. My parents are mostly absent during my growing-up years, so I don't know things well or in a one-sided view and therefore mature quite slowly compared to my peers. In fact, I never bought things on a regular basis by myself, but through my parents (and their money), until just 3-4 years ago. Quite embarrassing to say considering my age now.

In addition to the missed opportunities mentioned above, they are also those caused by an another person: directly or indirectly. Whatever those missed opportunities are, I will never know, as it didn't happen on top of the many possibilities that can/could have happen. I was not mature enough to know cause and effect of things as they are not mention in the description directly and not know how to tell. Who knows how different my life would be now if they did happen.

My appetite to eat a lot of food from then has also dropped mysteriously. And neither has the been a change of my body mass of more than a kilo, which is already considered quite light.

12 October 2009

Disorientated Feelings (Part 20)

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It looks like I'm back in the original dimension I belonged to: Hisakawa-san has turned back (sort of) into a guy and that clone following around like a servant, invading our privacy, is gone too. Seeing that my colleagues, including Itsuki, recalled things differently, it seems as though the nightmare I had been through is over. Shin'ichi doesn't recall that earthquake-like feeling everyone there had been through. This means one thing: they are still stuck at that dimention and the ones here are like on auto-pilot, unless they never changed dimensions. But still, will I die this December?

11 October 2009

Disorientated Feelings (Part 19)

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(continued from part 18)
(Related: Alternate Dimension Part 31)

After reaching the place and dealing with that weird man in charge of the place, I examine closely at Mamiko: she doesn't have a belly button (huh?) and is wearing a black competition swimsuit that doesn't seem removable or be able to cut open, as though it's now part of her body. She says that she has been wearing it since my siblings went overseas during the summer vacation (WHAT? That long ago?) and somehow still appear brand new despite not bathing at all. How's that possible? It's glued to her body (wouldn't that be uncomfortable?), been wearing it for weeks, running around in the summer weather with clothes on top of it, not taking a bath, and is still oddly free from sweat, dirt and odor as though she goes through thorough cleaning everyday. (She also added that she has not eaten, drank, or had been to a toilet in that same duration too. How is that possible and still appear energetic?)

09 October 2009

Autumn 2009 Anime Preview

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Related: Summer/Spring review, Spring 2009 preview, Spring 2009 Review

Forgive me for having this out quite late. (Kämpfer ep2 would be airing in a few hours.) Let's just get it started as this is a continuation of the previous Spring/Summer anime review post.
(Note: Screenshots may not feature the main character or suggestive scenes in the anime.)

"This library is the best place to fight"


Rating: Medium-High

Description: Senou Natsuru is your normal, everyday high school student. However he´s been chosen to be a Kampfer, who´s objective consists on fighting other Kampfer with either guns, swords or magic, however, there´s catch; first you can´t chose if you´re a Kampfer or not, and second, you must have the body of a girl to use your powers.

Comments: Haven't seen a Male-to-Female transformation for quite a long time. When was the last one? Simoun? Kashimashi? Ether way, it was a long time ago.

08 October 2009

Alternate Dimension (Part 32)

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Kotomi seem to know how the device I made better than I know it myself. How is that possible? Well, she was forced into this dimension and know she was about to die by something she can't control... I feel sad for her. It's like no matter what different things she tries to do, the end result is the same.

At work, I'm working with a branch at Gunma prefecture to further develop the device. I do the programming and a bit of research, while they do the testing and further research. The reason my supervisor gave me was that I'm "too valuable" and that the bad guys do not have a presence outside my city. "Too valuable"? What does he mean by that? Either way, it has already caused a lot of trouble for the rest of my life than anyone has even been through and not want to go through it again. I hardly get a hold or hear of the device lately. It belonged to the company in the first place to begin with.

Around the end of November, the people contacted me again. They said that they have added a feature that allows me to view different dimentions at any place and time. (By default, it's set to the current dimension and place.) I'm confused as to how it even works because, for example, in my current dimension, I can see myself holding this thing from behind clearly even though I know that there isn't any camera over there. There's also text at a corner saying that I'm viewing the current dimension.


Huh? There's an another dimension that's quite identical to the one I'm in now? Because it looks the same, but yet different. What is the difference then? I can't tell, apart that I'm not looking at the current dimension. Those guys are telling me that they are working on the time part, so I can't go any further than 1 hour from the current time.

Chapter 7

07 October 2009

Spring/Summer 2009 Anime review

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Related Links: Winter 2009 review, Spring 2009 preview

Hmm... I forgot what I had watched since I didn't write a review for Spring or preview for Summer despite Autumn just started.

Where did I put it....

Oh here it is. I would like to put images from the episodes, but I don't have them. Umineko is the only exception among the dropped anime with screenshot since I just dropped it at the time of typing.

Oh, I did hear that anime that I had highlighted in bold is quite good, including those that I did not watch.

Anime I didn't watch at all
Well these were anime that were stated to air for both Spring and Summer seasons, but didn't watch them mainly due to lack of interest.

03 October 2009

431st post:: Fear of Sleeping

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When the time comes to heading to sleep around midnight (午前0時/12am) there's thers's the feeling of fear when the thought of sleeping itself gives me the fear evem though I know I should take a rest and wake up early the followimg morning. It's also one of the reasons why I stay up quite late.

Despite this, my body is forcing me to sleep even though I don't want to.. It's like during a long ride in the train or car (as a passenger) where if a person were to be looking at me, I would appear to be sleeping and letting the motion of the vehicle move me around (and maybe having my head on the person next to me from time to time) aimlessly. Since I might be mentally awake, I can actually hear and remember clearly what people around me are saying. Makes me feel odd when they say that I'm sleeping but had trouble moving myself. If I'm lucky, I would be able to say what I want to, but in a sleeping tone, giving the impression that I'm sleep-talking.

There are also times when lisening to music through the headphones when I suddenly found myself to be waking up from sleep when I didn't even know I was asleep. The time is a proof of this. Despite all of this, I don't have insomnia.

PS. I'm typing this 2 meters away from the screen while lying down and can'r really see the errors I might have made above. I'm also watching the IOC announcement of the host city of the 2016 summer Olympics at the same time. (Wasn't even aware of it until someone at Twitter mentioned it.) They have not announced the city yet as at the time of typing, with only Rio de Jeneiro and Madrid left. It's a shame that Tokyo had dropped out: I had put up the support widgets here last year.

1:52am edit:It's Rio de Janeiro.

27 September 2009

430th post: Problems when cleaning up

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I'm cleaning up my bedroom as I'm typing this. There are so many things in my room filling up every corner and even more scattered all over the house.

Since I could somehow find something to do, the time when I would actually have absolutely nothing to do seems hard to come by. I could also be distracted or very busy when the mood does actually comes. This mood also seems to come when it's time to sleep, so I'm stuck between heading to bed or do some cleaning. I would normally go ahead with the former option, so there's very little cleaning done.

Hate to admit it but I do eat and drink in my bedroom. Not only snacks, but also lunch and dinner from time to time with all that stomach-full amount of food. It's a wonder why I have yet to see any flies or ants around at all. I do throw food wrappers and drink cans/cartons/bottles away, but this somehow does not apply to wrappers of the things I bought and stuff that I know are of no use with signs of the passage of time visible. I never clear them unless they are quite obvious or do those rare full clean-up of my room. Not an ideal place to study.

Just how small is my room? Let's put it this way: Placing the bed mattress against one side of the wall and an office chair in front of it would mean that I would need to go over (or under) just to get across as both ends are already touching both ends of the wall. The remaining space is to the left and right of it. Need to rearrange everything to maximize the space and, oh, get rid of the useless junk too. I also plan to paint the walls too, but I'm not sure about that part and I don't know what colour to use. It has been the same boring white walls that has not been painted since I just entered primary school.

I know I mentioned something similar more than a month ago, but the truth is that I had not done anything since then. I only had ~30 hours per week (including sleeping and eating) at home, had done everything else, that the mood didn't come around.

Oh, when the mood does come, I would also probably come across something that I problem deciding on keeping or throwing them away. These are mostly textbooks from more than 5 years ago.

(I'm also having a writer's block.)

24 September 2009

An Unexpected Wish (Part 4)

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Nanami did not feel that her grandmother's presence intruding, but rather comforting: she is her late mother's mother after all. There are, however, things that Nanami explain to, or rely on. As for her childhood friends, Yuichi and Misae, she doesn't remember how she had met them, but it seem to have happened either during or before primary school as she recalls doing activities she can't do now. She would have treated them differently if she had only first met them at the start of high school.

"Senpai! I haven't seen you in a while. What are you doing here?", Nanami said out in surprise.

21 September 2009

429th post: Theories of a possible new Haruhi season

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(cross-posted from the anime blog)

There was the original Summer 2006 14-episode and the renewed Spring 2009 28-episode of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱), along with The Melancholy of Haruhi-chan Suzumiya (涼宮ハルヒちゃんの憂鬱) on YouTube shortly before the 2009 renewal.

At the time the renewal was announced, people thought that it was a repeat broadcast. However, people noted that it was aired in chronological order with some networks airing The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00 (朝比奈ミクルの冒険 Episode00) or The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 1 (涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱I) first, along with extended scenes from the DVD. Even then, people still ignored it. It wasn't until 8 episodes later when Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody (笹の葉ラプソディ), a new episode with a new ending theme (there was no OP in that episode), that people started to pay close attention to it.

(People were expecting, The Vanishment of Haruhi Suzumiya (涼宮ハルヒの消失). I have earlier put up a table timeline based on the novel.)

First, there was a surveillance video (July 2007). Then the main website was "down" and enter a password to continue, solve some puzzles, to get a message that the 2nd season had been "canceled", but renewed instead. Those who had read the novel might find something familiar about this. What is curious about this image is that it appeared in winter 2007, but had copyrights for the year 2008 and 2009.

Another curious thing is that Haruhi in a black uniform in the NewType magazine (most notably July 2008; under the same publishing company as the novel) kept appearing.

When the new (renewed) season aired, titles of the following episode were either missing or deliberately wrong in the TV listings until the episode aired. People thought that there were 14 (28 total minus 14 from 2006) new episodes, but 8 of them were Endless Eight (エンドレスエイト) with minor differences between each, leaving with 6. If all of the The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya (涼宮ハルヒの溜息) were to be stitched together and with references to The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00 (朝比奈ミクルの冒険 Episode00), it actually flows quite nicely.

The sponsor screen (which commonly appears for 10 seconds after the intro & ending sequence/credits on free-to-air TV channels in Japan, including the news) image was of a girl (possibly Haruhi's CV) with the face not shown all alone. The uniform is obviously completely different from the usual North High (Sailor uniform: White blouse, cyan skirt) ones. Instead, it was a black blazer with a pink ribbon of a "prestigious all-girls school" (erm...) that somehow became co-ed. Her hair is also long.

I find it odd that that they showed "Disappearance" related material in the promo, but aired "Melancholy" instead. Since it's being aired chronologically as mentioned earlier, it could happen for the Autumn 2009 season, after the Someday in the Rain (サムデイ イン ザ レイン) episode, which is not too long away with 3-4 episodes left in the 2009 renewal of "Melancholy".

18 September 2009

Dimentions & Timeline

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(Note: This is not a scheduled post.)

If you have read several of my stories I have written and published on this blog, you might have noticed that the timeline have overlapped each other at some point or even different versions of the same period of time. (Eg."Why is it in story 4 that Kotomi still alive when, in story 2, she had died earlier?") I have made a visual representation of when stuff happens.

(click to enlarge)

Some points that I can't mention in the stories directly:
  • Kotomi Miyazawa and Nanami Fujibayashi are cousins.
  • Nanami may be younger than Kotomi, but she is of the same generation as Kotomi's parents.
  • I've completely forgotten about the doll mentioned in the 1st story.
  • Describing from Saeko and Mamiko point of view (POV) in alternate parts is confusing. I have quietly stuck to Mamiko's POV in recent parts.
  • Story 4 is the hardest to write as it takes place in a different place & time and nothing in common with the earlier stories.
  • Kotomi never met Haruna and vice versa.
  • The device Itsuki made didn't turn him into a girl: it only transferred his mind to a near-similar dimension where the Itsuki in that dimension was born a girl. The doll mentioned in Story 1 would explain why his colleagues were dragged along.
  • I avoid directly mentioning names of places, brands, company, bands, singers, etc., not because of trademark issues, but I just don't want to spend too much time thinking what name to use. For story 4, I only mention names of areas that might be made up.
  • The family gathering in Spring 2004 is in Hyogo Prefecture. Stories 1-3 takes place in Nagano Prefecture.
  • The future Saeko went to belongs to Dimension 2.
  • Except for Story 4, I just wrote as ideas came and not plan ahead. Despite this, it's strange that I can link them all up together.
  • I'm aware of the differences between the summer holiday of the 1st and 2nd story (and a brief mention on the 3rd), but I think the above graph explains the differences: all had the overseas holiday, same group of people and events, but the minor details are different.
  • Most of the stories published since July are actually written in advance, so I might have forgotten how the story goes if I haven't written for quite a while.
  • English version of the 1st part of the 4th story is actually written less than a week before the Japanese version even though it seems that the latter is done earlier than the former by 3 months.
  • I sometimes publish rejected versions of my stories on the updates blog.

Until I can find that notebook that mysteriously disappeared and a lot of free time, the frequency is going to be reduced. You can already see that my vectors has been reduced from 3 a week to 1 every 5 weeks.

Ps. I just ran out of scheduled posts, and why did I write this post?

16 September 2009

425th post: Back

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(written on 29 August 2009)

I'm now back. You can ignore most of what was said on the previous (424th) post. I posted that because I don't know how it will turn out since I've never experienced it before and expected the worse.

It wasn't easy, but I managed to survive it.

15 September 2009

424th post: Not sure if still around

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(written on 23 August 2009)

I don't know if I will be around by the time you are reading this. I seem to be having a lot of deja vu lately and none involve my adult life as though something wrong will happen to me quite soon. Like I would meet an unforeseeable danger.

If you had seen "Alternate Dimension (Part 31)" appearing on 10 Sep 2009 that is completed or another post dated after this (follow the earlier date if there's more than one), that means I'm still around and might have forgotten about this post: I don't check back on old posts, but I would be informed if someone leaves a comment.

I would also plan to draw a diagram of the different dimensions for all of the stories I had typed here in the near future since it's getting confusing. (Hint: 2nd, 3rd and 4th stories are on completely different dimensions, but started at the same dimension. The 1st is on the same dimension as the latter part of the 2nd story. Storyline of 4th is a lot later on than the rest.)

12 September 2009

Alternate Dimension (Part 31)

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Kotomi brought me to my workplace to do something with my cloned body to do some modifications to it. Why my workplace? Well, she is the niece of the director, but does she know that I'm stuck in it and can't return to my original body? Well, sure she could tell us apart without saying anything, but she seem to ignore me (Mamiko) and paid more attention to the other (Saeko).

Her reaction and recent behaviour tells me that she wants to turn me back into a guy, but I prefer the way I am now: as a girl. I'm sorry, I would like to be your partner and be with me forever, but the both of us now being of the same gender means that we could only remain as best friends. Knowing her, I don't think she would like it if I had said that to her.

Kotomi: "We're here."

Seemed to be wanting to say that with excitement, but her tone of voice says otherwise. My supervisor saw the three of us as we approached.

Supervisor: "Oh! Miyazawa-ojousama! What are you doing here?"

Kotomi's uncle, Kenji Hirano, is the director of the company.

Saeko: "Supervisor, she's actually here to help me to fine tune my clone."

I said that through my original. To tell you the truth, I have actually no idea what Kotomi wanted to do with me.

Supervisor: "Err... okay then. You can use your usual working area and the testing room at the basement. Oh, and before that, Mamiko, can I speak with you for a while? The rest of you can go ahead."

Huh? Me? What does he want?

The supervisor waited for Saeko and Kotomi to leave before he started talking. Kotomi tried to look back as to what is going on, but he chased her away.

Supervisor: "You are Itsuki-kun I know from last year, right? The boy who won that year's programming convention?"

I feel uncomfortable on the fact he is right.

Me: "Mentally, yes. But physically, no. Why?"

Supervisor: "Well, you have been through so many things since then: you had unexpectedly transformed, a victim of several events, some of which made it into the news, among other things. I checked my colleagues and the machine that cloned you: results had shown that your mind had indeed transferred to your current body, the cloned body. The new mind that should have ended up in the cone happened in the original instead. Since it's based on you, its behaviour and thinking is the same as yours at that point. The so-called merging of your minds did not actually work, but instead gained the ability to control each other."

Me: "That's exactly what I had been thinking too, but what's with my memory and actions being able to be modified? I was shocked when I found that out: I tried to input something I had difficulty remembering or doing and I could actually do it naturally."

I was obviously referring to the recent cultural festival at Kotomi's school. The supervisor did some checks on me, but some of the things he did really annoyed me. I didn't show my anger as I had I allowed him to do anything to me earlier. What made me curious, however, was that on the mirror opposite me, I wore a clueless expression instead of the anger I'm feeling inside. Was I programmed not to show my anger? What is this?

Supervisor: "Interesting, you are an all-in-one thing, but the disadvantage is you can't do some of the things yourself, some of which somehow defied the laws of physics. This can be a problem if someone makes you do things out of your will, but at least they can't change how you think. Am I right?"

Erm, how am I supposed to reply to you if you did not stop whatever it is you made me do?

Supervisor: "Looking at your face, I would take that as a yes. I have to go now: was in a rush to do something. See you!"

Hey! Can you at least stop... he's gone. What is up with him? Oh well, at least I can still walk around. I headed to where the other two were waiting.

Kotomi: "I knew he would do something odd to you... He doesn't dare to do something funny to me since I'm a relative of the director."

The adjustments Kotomi did was so quick that it ended before I knew it. Since it's already quite late with a downpour outside, it would be best if I would invite Kotomi to stay over at my place as the Miyazawa residence is quite some distance away. Kotomi might also not be able to catch the last trains along the way. The problem was that none of us had brought an umbrella along.

The supervisor had left earlier with a look that he might not be back until tomorrow, so we are the last ones left. There's usually a colleague around at this time, but I guess there's nothing to work on right now.

I noticed umbrellas at a corner near the entrance with a small label indicating ownership to my company. Since I started working here, I have walked past it so many times, but ignored it. I thought those belonged to my colleagues as no two umbrellas are the same with various patterns, colours, and sizes. Nobody left behind here knows the procedures as to what the last ones to leave should do, so we just left and opened up our umbrellas. Kotomi appears to be still in depression. I know the reason behind it, but I just have to ask her.

Me: "Kotomi? What's wrong? You have been behaving odd lately."

Kotomi: "There has been shockingly depressing things that had happened. First, there's, there's..."

She kept looking at us (Saeko & Mamiko) and looked as though she wants to say it out, but couldn't as she's not sure if she should.

Saeko: "That future train crash incident of your death, and the events since May that happened to me that had indirectly affected you."

Kotomi looked at Saeko as though she had accurately read her mind and is now at a loss of words. I was the one who actually said that, including what I was about to say.

Saeko: "Although the even of myself being cloned is a separate event, what happened on the night of May 13 was a dimensional change based on my deepest desires, which includes becoming as though I was born a girl. Though it might sound selfish, I wasn't expecting it to actually happen. Though everyone remembers me differently now, you still retain the memories of the me from before the dimensional change as you are an employee of the company we work for. I found this out recently. Your brother, Shin'ichi, was included as he might have helped out at the time it happened."

Kotomi now seem to be slightly relieved now.

Kotomi: "So that's why you had been avoiding me since then: you thought that I would not know who you are even if you did. You too didn't know back then that I was working for the same company too. But what's is this "secret" about myself the principal told me that I don't know about but would "find out anyway"?"

A secret about Kotomi that even she herself doesn't know about? Where did this come from?

Me: "Sorry, I don't know anything about that..."

She wore a disappointed look at that, but suddenly grab a hold of the device on Saeko's wrist and did something.

Saeko: "Erm, Kotomi? What are you doing? I might have yet to figure out how it works, but it was me that made it."

Kotomi: "Oh, it's nothing."

That's a lot of things to be nothing. No, really, what are you doing? Or rather, what is going on in your mind right now?

[Author's note: I have done the related post mentioned above, but due to the content, it needs to be redone.]

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中野区, 東京都, Japan
帰国子女 英語能力は堪能。趣味はアニメや漫画やプログラムコードを編集。通常、あたしの小説を英語で書いてです。Grew up abroad &travelled to different countries. I write my own fictional novel on my blog.