Haruka's Diary
Chasing After Rainbows: 2012

31 December 2012

An Unexpected Wish (Part 8)

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The girl Nanami saw appeared to be a student from the well known prestigious Mizuho Girls Academy. She looked very much like the president of Nanami's school computer club who graduated last year. Is this her sister? Moreover, for a girl who attends the academy that is known for people to to be knowledgeable, gentle, and feminine, her playing violent games clearly designed for men of ages older than her seems far out of place. Nanami thought that this could be their secret way of relieving stress and anger hidden behind the smiling faces. As much as Nanami wanted to know,


The Mizuho girl had a worried look on her face. Nanami wasn't sure if the Mizuho girl is angry for trespassing. Before the Mizuho girl got closer, she received an incoming call from someone. It now looks like Nanami was given more time to come up with an excuse.

"Huh? When did you say that was? A minute ago?!"

Silenced followed as the unknown caller talked as the Mizuho girl looked in the direction of Nanami. Her face became more bewildered as the call continued on.

"...but she's here at my house now. The apartment complex not far from where my parents live. Yes, I know it's impossible to travel from her house to here in a minute... What? You saw those lights when she vanished in front of you? I better ask her."

Nanami wondered how the unknown caller on the other end of the line knew that there were flashing green lights before finding herself in the white void, or how they knew the Mizuho girl. The Mizuho girl looked at Nanami more attentively after ending the call.

"Ah, Fujibayashi-san. You may know me as the computer club president that graduated from your school last year, but I'm also your cousin's boyfriend's sister. Your cousin's name is Kotomi Miyazawa, right?"

The Mizuho girl was abrupt and reluctant to say the word "sister" as if she wasn't used to saying it. However, at the mention of knowing her cousin well, Nanami relaxed a little. The Mizuho girl's name is Saeko Hisakawa.

"If you graduated from my school, then why are you in Mizuho High now?", Nanami noted. She also decided not to raise the topic of her mismatching name tag or the game she overheard Saeko mentioning earlier. Saeko's face says that she has been anticipating this to be asked, but at the same time, hoping it wouldn't be asked.

"Er, that is something I don't really have a choice over that I would rather not talk about now."

Nanami couldn't help but notice how beautiful the Mizuho uniform is, or how they are perfectly designed to accommodate her large breasts that were bigger than Nanami's or Saeko.

"...including what you are staring at. I know it's distracting, but I can't do anything about it. And please pay attention to what I'm saying." She abruptly added, as if she already knew.

"Anyway, your cousin told me you were at your home just a minute earlier, but you are here now in my house, which is in a different prefecture of where you live. What happened? You can tell me the details: the thing that caused the flashes of green light you saw had changed their victim's lives completely, and I'm one of them."

"You? You look normal." Nanami replied coldly.

The Mizuho girl suddenly stabbed herself at the chest with a sword that was hanging on the wall in the room. She did yell in pain and lay dead with the pool of blood around her became bigger. However, she suddenly stood up and, on removing the sword, the injury and blood disappeared, and her uniform repaired itself, as if that never happened.

"Do you think this is normal? I am unable to die even if I tried to. I'm also supposed to be as old as your cousin, but I still looked of the same as I was several years ago. I'm like a zombie, but my heart is still beating, my skin is not rotting, my intelligence actually increased. Be lucky that I'm unable to fight or get angry, even if I wanted to."

"I found myself in the white void for what seem like forever. Then my dad's office desk appeared, which I never saw before or found anything interesting with it. Next thing I knew, the white void constructed this room that looked like I entered a place in a game that was being loaded shortly before you came in. I don't know what just happened."

Nanami did not mention about adjusting settings that has alien writings on it. She didn't think it was anything important.

"Wait a minute. Are you saying that everything around us, including ourselves, is processed by some computer-like thing? That would explain why things that can't be scitinfically proven happening has happened. Not too sure.", Saeko pounders. "That, or you are still in that world of white void's virtual simulation, and I'm some NPC, or the you I'm seeing is an interface to communicate with the you there. Since you can change your scene, it would appear to others that you teleported. What I do know is that I have encountered the thing that did this to you myself, and has known to change people's lives forever. What I just demonstrated is one of the many effects of what it did to me."

Nanami understood what some of the words that Saeko said. What she didn't understand is how did she find herself in Saeko's house if she has never been there before, or thought of it?

"So, can you think of getting yourself back home? Try de-constructing this scene and think if your home. I can't give you helpful hints as I don't know how yours work, and very different from me.

"But I don't know how I did it," said Nanami in a slightly scared voice, but at that moment, Saeko appear to be blushing excessively for no apparent reason, and showed signs of discomfort on her body, but otherwise appearing to pretend as if this wasn't happening. Nanami wondered if she unconsciously doing this.

At the next moment, Saeko suddenly fell forwards onto the floor with her front facing the floor, but there was a loud bang follow by the ground shaking when the hit the ground, with noticeable cracks on the floor around her.

Saeko could lift up her head, hips, arms, and legs, but she can't lift her chest as if it is a part of the floor. She touched her breasts as if she was verifying her suspicion of those being the cause for her current situation.

"Er, Nanami-chan. Could you help me get back up? My body doesn't even have the strength to turn myself around," said Saeko as she spoke towards the floor, with a tone of annoyance in her voice.

Nanami tried to lift Saeko back up with all her strength, thinking that she was joking. Lifting up her body felt like the weight of any normal girl of her age, until where it came to Saeko's upper torso that it felt extremely heavy for Nanami to be able to lift up: they are heavier than the heaviest thing Nanami has managed to carry.

"I would like to help accommodate you home since I know where it is, but as you can see, I can't get myself up. I don't know how long I would be stuck like this. Could be weeks before someone notices I'm missing, so um, could you tell Kotomi about my situation? You don't need to rush, but I don't want to be stuck in this position forever either. You should hurry if you don't want to worry about missing the last train on the way... Wait. Do you have any money with you? You were at your home before you appeared here weren't you?" said Saeko while trying to turn her head towards Nanami.

"No," Nanami said simply. She was about to simply shake her head, but then realized that Saeko might not be able to see that.

"I have money in my skirt pocket. You can take all of my money in there. It's small change compared to my seemingly infinite income."

Nanami took a look at the money she had: she had a lot of ten thousand yen bills with her. She wondered if Mizuho girls were rich or Saeko only.

"I know it might feel like you are stealing money from me given my position, but I'm letting you take it. You are Kotomi's aunt, aren't you? Just leave everything else behind. Besides, I have access to more cash somewhere when I need it. You can use my computer to look up the route to get home."

Nanami knew that she was Kotomi's aunt, but it feels weird to her to be called that since she is younger than Kotomi in age. Saeko confirmed the station Nanami saw in the route guide was within walking distance from Saeko's place, and then gave her directions to get to get there. Nanami felt guilty for leaving Saeko there, but it can't be helped that Saeko is stuck there and too heavy to be moved.

The whole experience was shocking to Nanami. What felt like hours and days to her in that world of white void has actually only have a few minutes passed in the real world. She isn't quite sure if she is still in the white void because it seems to be constructed in front of her eyes. She could be interacting with the real world while still in the white void, the world around her is simulated and not real, or her "real world" is just one big computer simulation taking in the past of what she is actually in where it's advance enough to have everything look and feel real.

She doesn't know what to believe.

28 December 2012

637th post: eBooks (Eletronic books)

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Recently, I have been gaining interest in reading books. It wasn't until I started a movie marathon of the Harry Potter film (grew up with it) that I felt the desire to wanting to read it: I had read the book versions of the whole series (except the 7th, which I had only seen the movie version), and knew that there were things in the books that were omitted from the film version. The problem is that I seem to have misplaced it, or was not with me when I wanted. (I can't carry a lot of books with them weighting me down or leaving little room for other things, especially with the 4th volume onwards.)

Well, you do know that I write my own stories on this blog. About two hundred thousand words on last count. Weeks earlier, I wrote down the first 3 parts of Teary Promise on sheets of lined A4 paper I had lying around: it took up 22 pages, and I had to take a break to rest my hand at every 3rd or 4th page. (I found typing errors as I did it.) I myself was shocked at how many pages they took up even though they don't seem that long on the blog. How are all of this related to ebooks?

Prior to gaining an interest in ebooks, I actually already have some stories in PDF format, and read things like news articles, reviews, etc online, so the concept is not new to me. I already knew about e-ink displays and ebook readers that uses them back then, but I don't see them at the electronic stores I go to. Even if I did, they cost outside my budget, and the thought of having them is one of the last things on my mind. What drove me is the accumulating electronic-based reading material. I already have an iPod Touch to read them, but the screen is just too small for me to read comfortably, and an iPad is just too expensive with features that mostly duplicates my already-existing iPod Touch.

On top of that, practically all of the screens I have came across uses backlight that strains your eyes. Although it did got better when everyone switched away from those bulky CRT screens, it was still not enough.

Problem with reading on an LCD screen is that you need a backlight to be able to see well with what is on the screen even though the room is lit. If you have a GameBoy, or Nintendo DS, you can see what it's like with the backlight off/missing. Even if you leave it on, particularly battery-powered ones, you would find that the screen would turn off automatically annoyingly often (at default settings) and/or the battery draining off quickly.

With the way e-ink displays work, you can see it quite well in room light, and consumes energy only to change what is being displayed (like flip-disc display on electronic signs that are mostly replaced by LED displays these days), which translates to better battery life for the device. Anyone will tell you that the LCD display drains the most power on your phone than anything else because it needs electricity to maintain what is being displayed, and more for the backlight.

Kindles offered on Amazon Japan in late 2012
I saw Amazon's Kindle as one of the cheapest ebook that has a lot of positive reviews, and one of the few that supports Japanese text (most of the ones I looked at don't). The local Amazon (right) doesn't have the basic Kindle I was looking for, so I looked at the American site. I think why they don't have it is probably a technical problem relating to text input, which is already a hassle entering Latin characters.

Why I didn't choose the Paperwhite version there? Well, I heard about complaints about the screen, and it costs more than the basic Kindle. The other two models you see are LCD-based and costs even more.

Since the second generation, they support a lot of different formats besides their own propriety format, especially PDF files. So, the real problem here is that Amazon does not ship the Kindle (to be fair, most electronics sold there too) to outside the United States, even though they do accept my non-US card as a mode of payment,

The way around this is to send it to a local (US) address, and then ship it to me from there. I never use this service before, but they seem to have been around for a while with positive feedback from people. So I registered with them before I ordered my Kindle. The provider is Comgateway.

This was taken hours before my package arrived at the US address
As of the time of writing, I have not received it yet. Even though I select the two-day shipping option (free if order is above US$25, or at least at the time I ordered), ordering it on 21 December, the last Friday before Christmas. However, the carrier Amazon used, UPS, does not work on weekends and holidays meant that Comgateway would not get until the following Monday. However, with Monday being the eve of Christmas, it appears to be a half-day to them and did not get delivered until 2 days later. (See above) Probably because they had a lot to deliver. Comgateway does seem to have receive the parcel with my tracking number on it, but, at the moment, they are in the middle of processing it before they could deliver it to me. Could have gotten earlier if it weren't for the weekend and Christmas.

On searching what they meant by "rescheduled due to the holiday", I came a lot of recent negative reviews about UPS. At that time, Comgateway has yet to receive my package, so I feel anxious about it being lost or damaged by irresponsible handling by them. Comments cited that DHL and FedEx, both are what Comgateway uses to ship, are a lot better than UPS in terms of how it is delivered and the number of complaints.

I noticed that there is a discount voucher that I can redeem to reduce how much I would pay to ship it from there, but that expires on the 31st! A narrow window to be able to use it.

17 December 2012

An Unexpected Wish (Part 7)

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Nanami found herself in a white void where everything she looked seems to extend forever with nothing in sight. She couldn't even tell if she is standing or lying down as she can't feel the gravity and with nothing in her sight but the shadowless white void for reference. She's not sure if she could even move her body, if she had any.

Nanami is confused on what is happening around her. She knew she saw some rapid flashing green lights (in her home, not sure) not that long ago. The place is dead silent: not even the sound of a book being flipped, or any soft sounds. Is this silent, empty, and white, a place that everyone calls heaven? The last situation Nanami remembered certainly did not seem the kind that she would be killed in.

After a few moments of being in this white void, not being able to do anything, things materialized around her as if she was in a video game, except that it looks real and she could feel the things that appeared. The object in question was an unfamiliar office desk with her family photo in it. Judging by the other things on the drawers of the table, it looks like it could be her mom's office desk. Nanami has never visited her work office before, and most companies these days usually have security features that don't allow non-staff anywhere near there. Still, it's just the table itself that appeared, not the whole office it belongs to.

As Nanami tried to pick up the picture, she noticed she doesn't have a hand to do so, and saw nothing when she looked down: she doesn't have a body. Without warning, she suddenly found herself falling from 2 meters above ground and, as soon she made impact on the ground, she suddenly found herself standing up with her body in her school uniform. Nanami was confused on what just happened: she did feel the pain from the fall, but the pain disappeared at the next moment where she suddenly found herself standing again. Even more puzzling was how was she falling from the sky if she was standing at the table just a moment earlier? There is no logical explanation.

Suddenly, something she couldn't see spoke to her. There was no voice, as if what it wanted was directly communicated to her mind so there was no miscommunication in terms of what was said, but it spoke in ancient words that she had a hard time figuring out what it meant: even the language she knows well, but from a long time ago, seems like a completely different language to her.

Nanami sat on the desk as it was being explained to her about something as the white void changed to recreate the scene where she first found her family dead. Symbols unknown to Nanami appeared, but when she pressed one of it, the dark house became lit, or changing the whole place look like its in the day. Whatever these are for, the voice speaking to her head did not explain, or translate what the symbols meant.

One slider seem to make more children look older, and at the same time, the elderly look younger. She also hit what appears to be a checkbox next to it. Nothing appear to have changed when selected. Nanami decided to focus more on the settings and not look until she's done. She's tired of changing things and looking back and forth to see nothing has changed.Another slider appears to be inaccessible until the checkbox above it was checked. This time, there are two sliders and both are at the left instead of the usual center followed by options she could select only one of the three options, but she did not touch this setting. The next option, Nanami just randomly chose settings. If only she could understand what the symbols meant. She paid little attention to what she was doing until her blouse became so tight that she felt being squashed harder than in a packed train. She didn't know what setting she did that caused that to happen, so she freaked out and selected a bunch of options in hoping that one of it would "release" her. She skipped on to the next setting when that happened.

(Author's note: These settings that Nanami adjusted turns all humans into only female teenagers and young adults, which has already happened in Alternate Dimension and in the early stages in Disorientated Feelings. One of the settings Nanami did had delayed it from happening immediately to about 10 years later. This one is happening separately and differently from Mizuho Academy's methods. The scene of Nanami shortly before finding her family dead was the only scene in Nanami's recent memory where a huge range of age groups and genders are visible to effectively preview what settings Nanami did would change. Nanami could not read the alien language that was presented to her, and she assumed they were just visual settings of making the depressing scene that was presented to her to be more happier. Lighting and weather is the only setting Nanami adjusted that is only for the preview, and has no impact to the real world.)

When Nanami was done, she saw a group of happy high school girls running what appears to be her house. Nanami was too preoccupied in figuring out the alien symbols and fiddling around with settings, that she didn't pay attention to the changes the settings she made to the displayed scene. Nanami wasn't sure if this was an image editor or editing the past., but on the latter thought, she was hoping change to a scene before her family was killed, except that she couldn't even figure out the language the complicated instructions are in.

After Nanami was done editing, everything in her view, except herself, was reverted to the empty white void she was in earlier, before the scene of of being in a large penthouse appeared around her. Nanami is confused if this is an another computer generated scene, or if she is really back in her world? If it is the latter, why did Nanami see it being created like a video game scene that has its textures and polygons not fully loaded before she sees it? Is her own world and existence computer-generated in the first place? Is she still in that world of white void? Is what she's seeing being done remotely? Unfortunately, none of those questions could be answered.

It's evening outside, but she wasn't sure if time has frozen while she was away, or several days has passed.

For a house this big, it's surprisingly empty. Items that lay around suggests that two adults and a teenage girl lives here, with the belongings of the said girl being more prominent. Family photos aren't seen anywhere on display.

"Finally home... I feel like playing that game to relief my stress. Not being able to express anger isn't exactly helping in lowering my stress level."

Nanami heard a voice form behind a door. She wasn't sure what kind of game the voice was talking about: could be a board game, could be a game on her phone, could be an activity. It wasn't until the voice mentioned a title known for being a console game with enough violence to be given a rating for the age of 18 and above.  It then occurred to her that there is the console in question just in front of Nanami that is attached to the TV in the large room she is in. Just before she could even think of hiding, the person whose voice it belonged to appeared and saw Nanami in the room. Nanami thought she is in deep trouble for being there, but how is she going to explain that she just "spawned" there?

30 November 2012

Disorientated Feelings (Part 52)

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For the summer school break of my children, we took the time off from work to bring my family on  a vacation to Kyoto. I don't think the opportunity to do this would happen again before my children gets older. I've been there before as part of the school trip and business meetings, but having a schedule to stick to is not exactly enjoyable with pressure of keeping track of time. Excluding my time in university at California, I never travelled much. I don't know why the thought of travelling never occurred to me before.

I'm the head of the family because I did all the documents, fed everyone, and practically almost everything that has anything to do with the family. It's not the first time doing something like this as I also had to take care of my younger siblings (I was the eldest child). To tell you the truth, I don't want to take care of other people: I would prefer to be taken care of than to take care of others. What is my husband doing? He's an idiot and relies on me like he's one of my children. I married him only because I was forced to look at him frequently just to keep myself sane, but I feel lonely inside.

Starting with my parents, everyone that descended from them, including me, are products of a lab experiment. I never felt that I was being watched, but I did felt that something was wrong with my body even though, medically, there was nothing wrong with it. Me and my siblings were part of a sex-change experiment, Itsuki and Saeko are part of some unknown madness that goes on inside what appears to be a prestigious academy from the outside. Because Saeko's body is also immortal, she is also a "more realistic replacement for lab rats". My first two children was to see if I, who was originally born male as part of the experiment mentioned earlier, could reproduce children as a female and inherit the features I have. The next two... Other than them having my genes even though I didn't give birth to them, I don't want to talk about it.

Why do I look a bit foreign? I inherited it from my great grandfather on mom's side, who came from Russia during the war almost a century ago. It's a shame that I know nothing of him. His wife, my late great grandmother, couldn't remember him much because he died, for reasons unknown to me, long before my mother was born. Since my parents had me when they were young, who themselves were born to young parents, I have an aunt who is higher up in my family tree line, but is younger than me. Most people usually have ones that are a couple of decades older than them.

(Author's note: The name of the great grandmother in question is Ajisai Miyazawa (宮澤 紫陽花), who is primarily featured in An Unexpected Wish (4th story) from the viewpoint of Nanami Fujibayashi, Kotomi's aunt. However, the latest part of that story published is part 6 (published 13 March 2010), which covers the period when Kotomi just graduated from university and before getting married. I haven't figured out how and when Kotomi's great grandmother died, but certainly is already quite old as of S2P21/S4P6, and this current one is at least 8 years after that.)

People say the best time to travel is before I get married, have children, or get very old. Obviously I don't meet the first two now. My family was financially strained supporting me and five of my siblings. Before now, my mind was also filled with too much of being with Itsuki's body, even though I knew that the real Itsuki is now Saeko since less than a year after I met him.. I am forced to marry his former body to keep my sanity, and I had to do it quick before he marries someone else and make me look like a stalker. Sure I would like to have married someone else myself, but being forced to look at a particular person of the opposite gender without going insane or causing a problem is the main problem here. Believe me, I tried not look at Itsuki for a day and I could feel myself going senile. Looking at Saeko or my husband's "female form" seems to have the same effect as not looking at him at all. The extremity of this was put to the test when I studied at Standford University where I have to see an image of him at annoyingly frequent intervals. It's a nightmare trying to survive university without even thinking of him. I can't tell if this is the feeling of actual love, or a curse that forces me to always see him for the rest of my life. I don't know what will happen if Itsuki dies before me, or decides to permanently be in his "female form".

Getting time off work is not easy, but I guess because of my supervisory role, and the fact that I never took vacation for a long time, that I was given this time to spend with my children. Having someone in the family who works with the same company as me is an awkward thing to deal with. The line between separating family from work is blurred, and even more so when my own existence is the result of a relative's work-related experiment. It's like cloning, and I'm the clone, and I see the one who made me as a family member, but I was created because of work.

To get to Kyoto from our house is too far to comfortably travel by car, and things road tolls, traffic jams, rest stops, and refueling along the way, just easily adds up to the time and costs of getting there. No one wants to sit in the car for too long, even if you are not driving it. Obviously, using Saeko's car is out of the question. It's auto-drive function works only when Saeko in that car, and even with that, there's no difference in the duration of the traveling. Ceiling of the car is too low to be able to stand up to stretch, and, especially with other people in the car, can't stretch sideways. The only practical and quickest way is to take the train towards Tokyo, and then the Tokaido (東海道) Shinkansen from there. No reservation is required, but the fastest train service is made up of mostly reserved seats and a few non-reserved ones. On top of that, this line is the most crowded line among all the other Shinkansen lines in the country. Good news is that the same non-reserved ticket can be used on the slower trains that has no ticket turnstile separating the two, which is just as fast, but with more stops. You can feel the train tilting left and right when a train on the neighbouring track just whizzing by at high speed while stopped at a station.

Kyoto station building is quite huge in size, probably the largest in size. Just outside of it is the Kyoto Tower. For an ancient capital, this whole area looks very out of place with a lot of buildings that are quite recent with nothing but super modern structures visible. However, our hotel is elsewhere and have to travel further, and we aren't exactly in the mood to explore the area after all those long hours traveling. However, we are feeling hungry, so perhaps we head out to eat after dumping our bags.

The hotel was a four star western hotel that Saeko had booked and paid for. She originally wanted to book a more posh 5 star hotel "because she has too much money", but I don't want my kids to be spoiled too much. Neither do we plan to most of our holiday at the hotel either. She booked three rooms: two for me and Itsuki, one for the kids, and one for herself. Saeko's room has extra beds and is connected with the room my children sleep at, but, for some reason, my room is on a different floor at the opposite end of the hotel.

Me: "Hey, Saeko. About the rooms..."

Saeko: "I don't trust Itsuki, and you are the only one who can control him. Also, your son scarily looks as if he's my sister with no thanks to my body's age permemently frozen for so long, and the Mizuho uniform he couldn't remove."

The Mizuho school uniform my son is wearing turned him into a teenage girl, even though he's actually a 7-year-old boy. In theory, my son would turn back to being a boy when he removes it and remembers what he did as an older female self. However, Mizuho seem to have somehow programmed these uniforms in a way that they physically can't be removed until a month after graduation from middle school, if he doesn't continue on to Mizuho's high school and university that is, which delays it even longer.

Me: "Yeah. I'll make sure he doesn't scare the children."

Saeko: "Oh, and don't take too long to prepare to go out again, or the children would loose the mood to go out. Especially with the long travel we just had."

Even though I'm the mother and the head of the family, it is Saeko who actually takes care of my children, even more than me or my husband, like they are her children. I love Saeko, but she is of the same gender as me, and is officially seen as object belonging to Hatsuya Research, backed up by the fact that a machine they made created her body. If it weren't for her being an existing employee when that happened, she wouldn't have receive the truckloads of she is receiving now as compensation for her life being changed forever. I receive some of that compensation money too because the person I was forced to like has a different body and I was still forced to like the former body, whose new owner makes my blood boil. This appeared as a mysterious pay rise until it was explained at a later date. Hatsuya said it was a permement curse and nothing could be done from stopping me from loving someone I now hate. The current Itsuki should have been fired from the company a long time ago, but he is too tightly linked to two of their important assets (me and Saeko) that they sent him to work at Mizuho, where he turns into a gentle female. However, since Hatsuya knows that I have to see my husband as a male to keep me sane, they relaxed the rules regarding how the uniform for Mizuho staff, which he belongs to, could be removed: removable as long you are not seen while changing outside their campus.. Previously, it was forever, and it made the rules for students and guests at that time seemed like a more relaxed option.

That evening, we ate at a fast food restaurant and shopped at the shopping street and department store there. I don't know why I was the least excited among my family.

21 November 2012

634th post: The joys of traveling alone

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If you know what you are doing, planning well and all that, travelling alone can be quite fun over travelling with a tour group or even with just one other person.

Yes. I do have experience with that.

Well, sure the planning can be a pain, but you can plan it to your schedule without the need to
 also suit other people's schedule. Sometimes, they can't even confirm anything until closer to the day, which is bad if the flight or accomodation has yet to be book as cheap and convenient options would be unavailable to you as they are likely to be fully booked or exceeded the latest eligible date.

If you have ever looked at a booking system for the best routes/time/cost, you would notice that even booking a flight of the same route on a date can cost a lot different than the dates surrounding it. This is why flights should be decided before deciding on the exact dates. Also take note of the time of departure and arrival: depending on the airport, you could save some hotel money by just sleeping at the airport for less than a full night's stay. However, some people would not want to do this.

Other points:
  • No argument over where to eat/go
  • Not worry about someone being at the hotel room if not together
  • Not going to where you want just because the other doesn't want to

However, there are negatives with travelling alone:
  • No one but unfamiliar people to talk to (not necessarily a bad thing)
  • Have help by someone you know is troublesome

07 November 2012

Alternate Dimension (Part 88)

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It has only been a day after it happened, but it has become clear that every single human in the world now looks like an attractive high or upper middle-class Japanese teenage girl (or slightly older than that) who could only speak Japanese or (not so good) English regardless of their original ethnicity, age or gender. They have also developed a taste of good design, durability, and convenience that anything considered horribly designed is redone. Quite a large number of things in developing countries do fall into that label.

To be honest, everyone is forced to behave in a feminine way, even if they weren't before. Existing girls who weren't feminine aren't spared from this either. People voiced how much they hated it or being forced to only be able to wear knee-length skirts that some might find too short (they are longer than Mizuho skirts though). As much as I hate wearing skirt (you see me wearing them all the time only because I'm forced to), the skirt hides what I find to be the "ugly areas". Why I say that? I don't like to see the shape I see when a woman wears shorts or jeans, and you can clearly see a shape that is possible only for females: larger hips and buttocks, and so on. I think the skirt of a certain maximum length was chosen over those because the other kinds of clothing are probably seen as male clothing that has been modified to fit for the female body, and long skirts are seen as "too old-fashioned". I have to admit that, since I became a girl, anything I sat on suddenly felt softer even though the hardness of what I sat on never changed. Also, I'm quite used to having my skirt to not fully cover the part of my legs resting on the chair.

I hate to say this, but my breasts feels like two penises mounted on my chest instead of the crouch, but shaped like spheres instead of cylinders, that expends when I think of certain things relating to the opposite gender, but even that, I did not feel the desire to stick my breast into anything, though they can expand to the point my clothes get uncomfortably tight. I hate it when that happens, but it's a part of my body that can't be removed, though unnoticeable to others if they weren't observing as regular breast sizes can vary from person to person. As a girl myself, I know why girls do not like this part to be touched: it's the most sensitive part of her body, but sadly also has the most eye-catching part of her body and possibly trigger her body's desire of wanting sex. It feels awkward having nothing between my legs, but having nothing there to have an erection while aroused means that I don't feel any desire to have sex at all, which translate to having better concentration. I was hoping to turn back into a boy during my first few years as a girl, but it seems clear now that it won't happen as I had already lived as a girl for longer than as a boy, and all the males has now been turned into girls.

Famous people, scientists, politicians, doctors, police, army, firemen, construction workers, sports athletes, and other things where you usually expect men or tough people, weren't spared from this too. Some were transformed beyond recognition, most noticeably tough men who have dark skin with bald hair. (Nothing against them, but them turning into girly Asian girls is indeed a big difference.) The problem is that there isn't anyone or anything to point the blame to, let alone find a solution. As time went on, the complaints have reduced: either they had adapted to it, sub-consciously or not, or have been transformed. Since the whole phenomenon started, anyone who has transformed from reaching above a certain biological age for the first time or were previously male would have a feminine personality as part of their new selves as a young lady

Scientists could not find what is causing this to happen. What they can be certain that the body of someone who has been transformed has features that seem as if they have always been that way and no traces linking to their former selves. Example, they had gathered some information they know is of an old man (for an unrelated experiment), but when he transformed (it happened in front of them), his body is of a 16-year old girl with no trace of having being an old man. Although he could recognize people, his memories are more like what a typical 16 year old girl (at the time it happened) would know. He now has two ages: number of years since he was born and his biological age. This indirectly proves that old people can't die of old age as they can't get old to begin with, though people can still die through other means. This proves that it's just scientifically impossible to turn the transformed people back to who they were as there is no trace or have insufficient data to do so.

As much as people hated it, there is neither anyone or anything to point the blame to. Neither is there a solution to reverse this. The female to male prototype that Hatsuya had developed (was used to change Kotomi's 2nd youngest sibling, Kousei) doesn't work well as he behave and thought like a girl: the scientists knows how men are supposed to behave. Even if successful, the subject reverted back to female within an hour, but long enough to produce sperm to impregnate a woman. This seems to be the only way now to produce new babies, but with the "test tube baby" method that already existed for decades, it's also possible to make oneself pregnant without a partner, with sperm that came from themselves (while temporarily a male) or someone else. Babies being born instantly turned into a normal teenage girl the instant the baby is completely outside the mother's body, even though the baby may have been developed as a boy or had birth defects during pregnancy, premature birth. This means they inherit the gene that turns people into young women from their parents, or the phenomenon is still ongoing. Either way, nothing could be stopped from having the newly born baby to be turned into an adolescent female instantly, or them having children of their own despite being just born themselves. There is no biological evidence to suggest that they are even supposed to be babies except when witnessing the child's birth.

This recently born girl's body is already fully clothed and are already capable of being able to become pregnant immediately. Apart from the umbilical cord that is likely to be still attached to her mother, this person is no different from someone who has just been transformed through other reasons. I don't think there is a specific date or age, but the gap between the youngest that anyone could be transformed into, and the age where you would transformed again (delayed if developing a child), is certainly less than 25 years. In other words, you could never grow old, but forever stuck at that stage in life with a female body means that your body is practically forever capable of producing a child and, if not made pregnant within a month, you would feel extreme pain inside with blood leaking out between your legs. No girl wants to pregnant all the time, but neither do they like the pain and blood they experience every single month she is not pregnant. I know how painful and scary it is because I am a girl myself. Well, it's only day one of the human population being feminine female completely, and probably too early to tell if something else has happened, though no other changes are visible.

Now everyone is suddenly rich enough to afford at least upper-middle income housing. Add that to wanting top quality design, many (those who were previously poor in particular) found themselves living in in an unacceptable housing and/or can't get to anywhere without a car or public transport is terrible. Suddenly, plans to improve or overhaul to match to a developed country and improve further have been announced. Businesses and houses affected by the redevelopment weren't an issue as even the owners found their property awful too and wants to get rid of it so they can get one that is a lot better. For the reformation of the public transport network, older buses and trains that would have otherwise been scraped have to be kept around longer to meet the demands of new routes and improved frequency, as the factories manufacturing them are overwhelmed by the surge of orders from many different bus companies. This is on top of existing orders and personal problems faced by the staff who themselves were affected by the change too.

In fact, it seems that nobody is spared from it like an invisible infectious disease. As much as I don't want to look at a woman's breast since it's so visually distracting once they are in sight, it's impossible not to see them because my own body has them too, so I always see them when I look at myself. Censorship regarding that area has never changed (at least not yet) even though everyone is now a woman, but what I don't get is why are woman's nipples censored, but not a man's nipple or the rest of a woman's breasts? I don't get it.

People who lived in countries where neither languages were used suddenly couldn't understand what was being said or written in their native language and found themselves being only being able to communicate in a language that are alien to them to friends (who may have also been changed beyond recognition). They are forced to change the languages of everything as nobody could know or learn any languages except Japanese or English, which are the only languages they could  understand or learn.

Because this change also affected even the most primitive people at remote places, all the different tribes, traditions, and languages, have effectively been wiped out
and made obsolete and extinct. An example of how drastic the change is: a primitive African tribe of mostly men who has little or no contact with the outside world who hunts animals and plants for a living, communicate themselves in their own language with no writing system that has clicking sounds as part of it, and lives in huts made of straws. Sadly, with this transformation, this means they now look like a group of young affluent Asian schoolgirls that could only speak to each other in Japanese or English (both they previously never even knew) who couldn't even hunt their own food and found just how "horrible" the conditions they live in are that they want to get out of there.

We are living in a completely different world now where every single person you see are well-off young women, but it's the initial transitioning stage where people want to get out of the old houses they were living in, but the demand to have houses everyone wants is quite high that existing development are overbooked. No woman wants to get dirty, and neither do they have the strength to carry things or to tighten/loosen bolts. These are what men could do easily, but the main problem is that the male gender no longer exists now and only the weak and unwilling females are left behind. Yes, everyone is self-aware of how weak their body is, or how easily scared they can be at anything.

So how are things like building houses to meet the demand works if there are no men to build it? The good news: ways have been found a way to build robots and machines specifically for this problem. Bad news? Demand for these are too large for the manufactures to keep up, and all the men who were constructing buildings before the phenomenon happened have been turned into girls that are now too scared with environment they have to work in, which slows down the construction pace by a lot. Because these girls are scared of getting injured, and the skirts they wear (which could neither be removed nor worn over) offering their legs little protection from injury, they clearly should have been fired now. But since there are no men or tough women left now, these people are actually considered the bravest women ever. I myself find that as a joke as I clearly see them scared at everything while working, but I guess being scared is more of a natural reaction to them that they could have mentally tried to ignore or else they wouldn't be considered brave if they had given up already. I guess being scared is part of having everyone seems to have their external emotions re-wired that forces everyone to behave girly and not actually mentally scared to begin with, but I'm afraid it could be an actual feeling to people who have been "transformed" since the male gender have been completely whipped out.

The concept of a family, and a girl being friends with an another girl has now been blurred further as everyone in the family is a young female and family reunions now look more like a class reunion of a girl's school. Anyone who has transformed from reaching a certain biological age remembers very little from before transformation except their possessions, recognizing people they were in good terms with as their former selves, and people they with at the time the transformation happened. Even with family members, they treat each other like close friends so much that they would feel very uneasy if they are seen as someone higher instead of as equals by someone they know well.

Just what is so great of turning everyone into women that are forever young? They may be the most beautiful and attractive humans, but living my own life as one is a nightmare: it's too easy to make myself aroused from just something as routine as changing my clothes. (Mizuho Academy actually trains you to be able to think and speak normally, and treat it as if it isn't happening.) Even moving myself around is more of a hassle than as a man from what I feel when moving, and even thinking too much over an otherwise simple thing. The biological age range everyone is in now also means that everyone has a high chance of getting pregnant, except that there are no men would could make that happen.

That is what I think as the biological ages of all women are at the optimal stage for that to possibly happen, all newborns instantly became teenagers who are already capable of producing children of their own too. It may sound like everyone, including newborns, can forever produce a child or two every year causing a population explosion, except that the reality is that people are killed in accidents and cancers with nobody to replace them. Spelling the decline of humanity, though being young again after a few decades means that they can't die of old age as they can't become old to begin with.

There is nothing is wrong with all the woman's reproductive system. The primary problem is that the men who could make them pregnant are completely absent now: all of them had been turned into women whose DNA now says they had always been born female and never male, which means that it can't be reversed. Scientists have, however developed a way to produce sperms out of skin cells, or human eggs, but it's expensive and uncomfortable, and on top of having a higher failure rate than if done naturally (which is impossible now), the babies born out of this are always female due to the lack of 'Y' chromosome that only the (now extinct) males have. As much as everyone doesn't want this to have happened, it was forced onto everyone by an unseen force without warning that can't be stopped. I don't like to see women, but that is what everyone (including myself) is now.

04 November 2012

632nd post: How to select files to open/upload files more quickly with a different program

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You may have faced this before: you open the file explorer in Windows to search for a file, or selecting a file to upload, only to repeat the process again with a smaller window, and that file can't be opened directly.

Well the quicker way around this are with these three methods:

Method 1: Open up the window that prompts you to select the file. Then switch to file window (use Alt+Tab to do it quickly), select the file to upload, and drag the file icon to that file selection window mentioned earlier. If that window is not visible (most likely because the window is maximized or overlapping), first drag it to the taskbar to the program you are opening/uploading with, then drag to the empty text field at the bottom with "File Name:" next to it. Select "OK" or hit Enter/Return key and you are done.

Method 2: Hold Shift while right-clicking on the file you want to copy. Select the "Copy as path" option somewhere in the middle in the menu that appears, and, if not already open, open up the open/upload file selector, press Ctrl+V at the "File Name:" text field. Hit enter.

Method 3 (Windows Vista or newer only): At the top of the file explorer, you would see something like "User ▶ (username) ▶ Documents". Click on the empty space next to it, select everything (Ctrl+A) and copy (Ctrl+C), and paste it at the similar location in the open/upload file interface. (If you had previously selected select a file there, you can skip this step.)  In the "File Name:" text field, type the first few characters of the file and the name you want should appear in the auto-suggest field below the input field)

23 October 2012

Improved features between Windows 7 and Windows 8

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With Windows 8 releasing in less than a week, I feel that it would be appropriate to write this.

Ever since the first preview of it ("Developer Preview") people have been kind of vocal about it mainly because of the start screen and the missing start button. People hating Windows 8 at this time is nothing new: people hated Windows 95 when it came out because of the completely revamped UI over previous versions (Windows 3.1), developers hated Windows 2000 for it not having DOS, people hated Windows XP for its "Fisher Price" interface that they either switch to the classic UI or stick to earlier versions (Windows 98, 2000) during its first years. If it weren't for the huge time gap between XP and Vista, Vista wouldn't be hated as much, though Windows 7 might have been hated too if Vista wasn't released first (technically, they are both the same).

Most people don't look past the new interface, but the Windows 8 start screen really is the new desktop, along with a list of improvements over Windows 7

  • Build-in Anti Virus and Smart Screen filter
    Doesn't slow the system down unlike most anti virus software, and faster than Windows 7 when enabled by default.
  • Better multi monitor support
    Taskbar on each monitor + Different wallpapers across all displays
  • Faster boot/shut down/sleep/wake times
    I run both Windows XP and 8 on the same hardware, and the latter does boot a lot faster.
  • Uses less RAM
    Better overall performance than 7 at most tasks
  • Hyper-V (previously only a Windows Server feature that which lets you run a virtualized OS)Infinite backwards compatibly. If something down work on Windows 8, just install XP or even Windows 95 in Hyper-V and run it on that.
  • New File History feature to recover old files.
  • Better file management
    Also allows you to pause file copying too.
  • Virtual Hard Drive
    Lets you use ISO and VHD files as a hard drive
  • Built-in RAW file format support used in DSLR's cameras
  • Support for orientation image data
    When you take a photo with a camera, the thumbnail image is displayed in the correct orientation
  • Ribbon added to the File Explorer
  • Completely overhauled boot system and new graphical screens
    The screen that lets you select multiple operating systems now supports touch, mouse and keyboard, and no more white text on a black background. Disk Check could also be accessed from there.
  • Vastly improved Task Manager
  • Better battery life than any previous Windows OS
  • New Language features in the Control Panel
    Download and switch between any Windows language for free. This is something previously available only Windows Vista/7 Ultimate Edition, or as separate Windows versions that you could only reinstall from scratch
  • You can use the keyboard to navigate around the start screen more quickly

18 October 2012

Teary Promise (Part 17)

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With my brother being magically turned into a girl from visiting Mizuho, the two of us looked like each other again just like in the old days, but how we are alike wasn't what I expected: as two young women instead of as two boys. It was right after the quake that I first saw him as a girl, though it was earlier that I first saw the picture of him as a girl on his student ID. I really thought it was someone else and wondered why the unknown girl used familiar terms to me and got angry when I tried to be polite.

No matter how hard you try to look when he becomes a girl, you can't see him in any other way than as a real girl and an older version of me. No matter how hard I hit and shake his protruding chest, it simply jiggles around without ever falling off or going out of shape, and although it fells soft to touch, he showed discomfort as I touched them, which happens to me too when I touched mine. The sad part is that it can't be removed. Also, when I looked under his skirt, the tightness of the underwear he is wearing seems impossibly tight to have his male thing there at all unless he really is physically a girl.

I know we both looked alike when we were young, but this is just too extreme no matter how you think of it. How on earth does my brother turn into a girl with a set of seemingly normal set of clothing? I know it doesn't seem logical, but I saw him transforming front of my eyes! In fact, he grew shorter as that happened.

Is he an attractive girl? The senses that would have me to be able to tell doesn't work on people I know since childhood or are of the same gender as me, so I can't tell even if I'm looking at one. Also, that female voice coming out of my brother is quite scary too: Not a child's voice or him trying to imitate a girl's voice, but an effortless real female voice from his mouth. My brother, looking very much like a girl in every way, with that voice... It's so real that it's creepy to me.

To tell you the truth, I don't like how a girl usually behave and the over-obsession with beauty and fashion. It's like, I want to say to them to stop being girly and all that, but the awkward thing here is that they are girls, and I am one myself. The bad thing about being one is that I'm given unwanted special treatment by the boys, who treated me differently when they thought I was a boy. I really want to marry a beautiful woman, but I guess there isn't anyone but myself, and the other party has to be a man if I do want to marry someone. I want to be a man because living as a girl is a hassle and somewhat too easy in finding someone to love.

The aftermath of the disaster still lingers in everyone's minds, and works are underway to clear the rubble and reconstruction of roads. So much things are happening in the recovery and reconstruction efforts that the ones happening in my area don't get covered on TV at all. Everyone is too focused on recovering that other things get overlooked. There are several rumours and strange incidents happening since the disaster around town, but nobody is doing anything about it. My town is too insignificant for anyone to bother checking it out. Since I moved from the capital and attend school in a different city, I am still quite unfamiliar with the town I live in. Most of my time after school is mostly wandering around the city where my school is with friends, and the long travel back home. I don't know much people around here, and since the disaster, I don't know who are still alive.

The local temple at my town is located on top of a forested hill at the eastern edge of town, where it can get quite crowded during the summer festival and New Year's Day. On most days, it is usually deserted. Prior to the tsunami, you could see nothing but trees and more trees surrounding the place, and it feels cooling too as the leaves of those trees help block out the bright sun and the heat it brings. Since the tsunami happened, this beautiful scenery ends abruptly at the eastern side where you see nothing but wasteland and the sea. According to the elderly, those trees, like the remaining surviving ones, had been there for many generations. It's sad to see them go just like that.

With my favourite secluded beach spot obviously gone, and indistinguishable from other areas, this temple is now my new place to hang out by myself. However, it didn't take long before somebody notices me there.

Woman: "That uniform... You're from the city, aren't you? I can tell as all of the schools around here uses the sailor uniform. I've seen you around town more often these days by yourself. Forgive me for being rude, but did you loose a loved one around here? I can't help but notice you looking at the direction towards where the harbor town used to be."

She didn't say it, but sailor school uniforms are for girls only as boys wear something else. Also, before the tsunami wiped clear of the forest east of the temple, you can't even see that town and can't tell if you are facing it without a map or a compass.

Me: "I lost my boyfriend that day. I..."

I don't know why tears were flowing out of my eyes. I guess I'm still emotionally attached to him.

Woman: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. So, may I ask what your name is?"

Me: "It's okay. My external emotions are overexgeratting what I actually feel. Anyway, I am Isaka Yumiko."

She heaved a sight of relief. However, she had a curious look when I mentioned my family name.

Woman: "Huh? The Isaka family? I think I saw that name on one of the newly built houses of this town. Hard to describe the house apart from it being newer than most of the houses in town, but I'm sure it's the only house in town with lights at night right after the earthquake hit. I didn't know the solar panels could last that long. A relative of yours?"

I remembered that the lights were working the night when the quake hit, and, the oddity of being able to watch the news on the TV at the living room, but couldn't make calls or go online. The home electricity is primarily powered by solar panels and uses the electrical grid only when power is insufficient, which rarely happens. It is designed to be able to store solar energy that is long enough to last from sunset to sunrise with even appliances like refrigerator, computers, and air conditioning turned on throughout the whole night.

Me: "I live there, actually."

Woman: "Ah, forgive me. I assumed that you stayed elsewhere as all of the schools around here have a sailor and gakuran uniform sets only, which most of the children of this town attends."

What does this woman want with me? I would had felt more scared if she were a man because I'm quite vulnerable right now and, as a girl, I have a lot of weak points on my body that practically makes me defenceless no matter how tough I try to be.

Woman: "So anyway, I'm a teacher at one of the schools in this town. Me seeing the Isaka name plate outside your house since it was built for about 5 years now, and me having never met you before now, I can also assume that you don't attend the middle schools here too. Don't tell anyone I said this, but the students are like a nightmare to manage, as you can tell from their attire. Students who do try to be like students in schools of other towns, get targeted by them. I am aware that there is some bulling going on, but it's difficult to find the culprits, and they don't do it when they know a visitor visits the school or in plain view of the security cameras. It's as if they knew the loopholes to escape being caught. Would you like to go to my school to see what it's like? I don't think you have been to the ones around here before."

Is she indirectly asking me to help her? Did she confuse me with what my cross-dressing brother did? Does she know that my mother is a manager at Powell Research and wanting me to ask them for help? Most adults have intentions that they aren't saying, and more cunning than children. Mum is somewhat like an important person because she is a department manager (or something like that) of a well known company, and I am at a higher risk of being kidnapped just because of some crazy person threatening my mother. But why me? I have nothing to do with it. Maybe I'm just over exaggerating what can happen.

Me: "Well, I guess so. But isn't school over? I came here when the school just ended. Also, I'm not even a former or transfer student there."

Woman: "You will be fine, especially with me around. Also, club activities are still going on now, and I think the school gates won't be closed until late at night."

Me: "Well, I guess I could know more about this town I live in at least."

14 October 2012

629th post: How it is not possible for Tari Tari to have a second season

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(This is a repost from the anime blog)

Don't get me wrong, but Tari Tari is a 13-episode anime from the Summer 2012 season. It's so good that I would recommend you to watch it. What I'm writing here is pointing out hints how you would be disappointed that there won't be more of it.

  • Based on a group of third year of senior high school students
    • continue into college other than as a epilogue are uncommon
  • starts in the summer before summer holidays
    • In Japan, this means that it's around the 3rd or 4th month since the school year started
  • Creation of a club made up of only 3rd years
  • Late into the series, works to replace the school with a condominium began and stopped accepting new students for the following year
    • spinoff that takes place at the school later is unlikely
    • nobody make an anime at a place that has construction everywhere
  • The anime started with people who just met each other, with one (Wein) being an exchange student from Austria (not Australia). At the end of it, everyone went off their separate ways.
    • This means that a new series based on this season as the prologue or epilogue is not possible

    30 September 2012

    Teary Promise (Part 16)

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    With the overseas school trip behind us, I am hoping to put behind the bad memory of being very lost and crying about it behind. I try to remember the other things about the trip, but that scary moment of being lost is hard to mentally disassociate with the trip.

    I wished I had not become so scared and frightened back then, but that was how I reacted naturally to the situation. Looking back, I should have been able to keep calm, but my body felt fear that became a part of my emotions before I was even able to think of keeping calm. You might have heard from my brother about how much we both look and think alike that we are practically twins, and how we eventually grew to be different.

    My current behavior is completely different from how I behaved when I was younger, and I'm very much aware of that. I don't like how girls behave, but the problem here is I am biologically a girl myself and there's some kind of unbreakable mental barrier that is forcing me to not be able to behave any other way.

    How did this confusion with myself happen? You see, since before I knew anything, I was copying my brother in whatever he did. One day, our parents arrived home (at the capital city back then) from work, but they couldn't tell us apart because of how similar we are. I know enough about my brother to be able to answer questions by people who mistook me for him, and vice versa. Since there were no uniforms in primary school, it was quite easy to do so. It was because of this, I was brought up looking and thinking I was a boy and my brother's twin.

    The similarities ended when I entered middle school with my brother: I found myself wearing the female uniform and my brother was wearing the male version. I thought mum made a mistake as I thought it was supposed to be similar to what my brother was wearing. It felt like I was cross dressing, but nobody saw anything weird with it.

    When I first saw my middle school uniform that mum bought for me, the first female clothing I wore, I thought mum was making fun of me as it was different from my brother's, who was also in the same school. As I saw myself as a boy back then, I was somewhat angry about why I have to cross-dress and how girly it looked, and how very different from the male version. It had the ribbon instead of a tie and had a skirt that is a lot shorter than the pants for the male version. My mum used whatever excuse to make me to wear them, including being able to hide things under my skirt and yet appear to not be hiding anything until they look underneath, which itself (according to mum) is a big social taboo. I don't remember how I ended up wearing it in the end, but I'm sure "because you are a girl" wasn't one of those reasons.

    It wasn't until later that my body grew in completely different ways from my brother. I thought I had cancer growing at my chest, which get irritating and heavy while trying to move myself to the point that I wanted them removed badly: it's making everything I do uncomfortable. They made my old shirt tight and uncomfortable to wear even though they are of my size. The only clothing I felt comfortable wearing since then was only my school uniform... and female clothes that I'm reluctant to wear due to its feminine design, but those are now the only kind of clothes that best fits me and could wear comfortably.

    I asked mum about it as she works at a hospital around middle school year 2 when they become quite obvious, but that was when she gave me the bad news: she told me that I am a girl and the "cancer" growing on my chest are actually breasts, which even mum has. She added that it would be abnormal for a female if I didn't develop breasts by the time I enter high school. Her assurance that it isn't life-threatening doesn't ease me either. That obviously means that I'm stuck with these weights for the rest of my life. It was also at this point that I started to see myself as a girl and surrendered to the feminine feelings that were growing stronger inside me, though I was hesitant about it. I guess it's hard to resist natural feelings.

    How did I use the toilet if I didn't see myself as a girl until very recently? Ones in houses are mixed, and, in middle school, I observed that other students who wear the same uniform as me always enter the one with a red symbol with the shape of the skirt similar to what we are all wearing. I only saw it as toilet for people who wear skirts more than as a toilet for females only. I have to admit that I have entered the boys toilet before and even tried using the urinal (no such thing in the female toilet), but my body is not designed for it and forced to sit at the cubicle to be able to pee without making a mess, but the ones with the washlets installed, like at department stores, make me glad that I am a girl as I can clean my bottom easily without getting my hands dirty.

    Over time, the female emotions developing inside me overwrote my behavior. I still know how I used to behave, but I am unable to behave like how I used to. Its like my behavior has degraded from that of a brave boy to a shy girl who gets emotional easily. I don't know how or why my behaviour has changed so dramatically when there are other girls older than me who still behave boisterously.

    I am aware that there are many boys who stare at me, but I chose to ignore them because my tomboyish mind tells me that boys likes to look at pretty girls, which increases their self-morale or something. Being a girl myself means that I feel nothing when I see other girls and get attracted to boys. I would like to say that my tomboyish mind would have me feeling confused, but I never fell in love with anyone outside the family back then, and by the time I fall in love with Takuya, the female instincts had already taken over me. Although, the void left behind by Takuya's death left me blind on how to live on without him just how strong my love to him was. It's so strong that I actually went emotional about it and couldn't think rationally.

    24 September 2012

    627th post: Tumblr blog

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    I have created a Tumblr blog somewhere in July, but never get around to announce its launch.

    I have been aware of tumblr for quite some time prior to joining it but I didn't really know what it was about. I tried various themes and some modification of those to see how that would fit.

    What you are seeing now is the third theme I have used that allows me to show multiple reposts at ones and auto-scale the images at random, but in the order I reblogged them, so that there is little wasted space. However, it doesn't handle video and audio well if they are not at the top.

    The previous layout did allow me to manually adjust the size, and even as large as the whole screen or the original image size (whichever is smaller). The problem with that is that it only shows the first image of a photo set unless viewed individually.

    I may change again due to the video / audio problem, but finding one that you can scroll without ever needing to click on a "next page" link and infinitely scrolling down until the very first post can be challenging.

    What do I put in here? Mostly reposts of what other people I'm following has  posted. Images I post to Instagram do appear here too. You could say it's an image-intensive version of this blog and is updated more frequent that this blog, but less frequent than twitter.

    18 September 2012

    Teary Promise: Brother's Side

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    My name is Isaka Tsukasa (井阪一), 2nd year student of Kobayagawa High School. Although there's nothing wrong with the characters of my name, I don't like my parents for choosing Tsukasa as a way to pronounce it, as it sounds like a girl's name to me. I prefer my friends to call me Hitoshi instead, which can also be written with the same character, so they would never suspect that until a relative call me by my name in front of my friends who are used to the other name.

    I am a member of the chess club that forms one of the many small clubs in the school, and not much large ones. This is partially because joining a club itself in my school is not mandatory. The larger clubs are typically pretty much what you would expect any school would have: art, music, swimming, baseball, soccer, and so on.

    This school is an average school with several other schools in this city: including Kamisugi High (上杉高校) and Kaisei Junior High (海星中学). The well-known Mizuho Girls' Academy (瑞穂女子学園) is also part of the city, but the massive size of their campus, along with the state-of-the-art facilities it has, the academy campus seem like it's a city on its own. It is hard to describe what Mizuho is like, but it's like entering a different world. I would talk about my encounter with Mizuho later.

    If it weren't for Mizuho Academy and the headquarters of the well known Powell Research company, this city would just simply be just another insignificant city. I heard that where Powell's headquarters used to be an abandoned mansionette that existed long before the city itself was established. That building still exists as where the office of the big boss (aka the founder) is located. They have a general hospital at the outer edges of the land.

    The windows around where that office would be looked like the only untouched part of the building during the major interior revamp, but people who have been to her office said that the only windows there are facing the corridor on the opposite side, and no sign of the mysterious room. People that worked at night added that lights from there were sometimes seen turned on.

    According to my mother, who works there, the founder of the company is regularly seen wearing the uniform of the high school section of Mizuho Academy, but was seen wearing the Kamisugi High (another school in the city) uniform the year before. She probably transferred because her potential would be better utilized at Mizuho instead of Kamisugi. Kamisugi is a typical high school like mine.

    For a company that only employs college graduates or higher, it's hard to believe that it was founded by a young girl that is currently still in high school. Judging by the year the company was founded, that would mean that she was still in primary school at that time, but records say she was in middle school. That would make her the youngest person to have founded a company, which itself has grown to be quite well known all over.

    This city might not be as great as the capital city I grew up in, but even its average school is considered better than at the town where I live now. You see, I travel four hours daily just for school to get there and back. The schools at the town I live doesn't seem to have a good school, as evident by the behaviour and attire of the students of those schools. My family felt that it might not be good to be sent to a school in the town.

    I moved into this town with my family during the break between my first and second year of middle school due to dad's work. At first, it was at the neighbouring town by the beach, but my mother became worried over huge tidal waves that we moved further inland to where we live now. I wasn't really sure if she was overreacting about it. Well, that is what my memory tells me, because I felt that things that happened 3 or more years ago never happened, but it's probably my imagination.

    I'm not the only child in the family: I have a younger sister that is about a year younger than me that attends the same school. We are very much like twins and close siblings that we don't call each other by name. Our parents had a hard time telling each other part. It wasn't until when my sister entered middle school (shortly after we moved from the city) where our gender differences became more apparent and affected how we saw each other.

    We behave very much like each other, or rather, she behaved like me. Our primary school did not have any uniforms and, until recently, she never wore female clothes because she wanted to dress like me. Our friends often mistake me for the other and vice versa, and be able to get away with it because we could answer and do things that was meant for the other.

    Although the middle school I attended for my first year had a uniform, her boyish behaviour meant that she saw herself as a boy instead of a girl and didn't see my uniform as something only males wear. Her middle school uniform was the first girlish clothing she (had to) wear and wondered why it looked so different from mine (apart from having the same colours) that is also for the same school that has pants, while she wears a skirt instead. To her, wearing female clothing is like cross-dressing as she is so used to male things, behaving like a boy, and apart from mom's things, never used or own anything that was specifically designed for girls only.

    At first, my sister never thought much about the unfamiliar female clothing, apart from seeing it as cross-dressing, as it was bought by our mother and probably thought it was for people to tell her apart from me. However, as time passed, she had a rude shock with the changes to our bodies: My voice became deeper and was growing taller, but she instead grew breasts (it's bigger now) and experienced pain every month while peeing out blood. Her male-like mind made her confused on what is happening to her body, and why her body is growing so differently from me, who she saw as a twin who is supposed to look alike.

    Thinking that it was a disease, and still thinking she was a boy, she thought her body had a growth defect and believed that her breasts were tumors to the point of wanting to get rid of them. She even complained that her old clothes and the (male) clothes of her size that she tried out were getting tighter and tighter to the point of being uncomfortable. Sometimes, she doesn't bath or change clothes simply because she doesn't want to see her breasts or feel the senses from it by just the slightest touch to it because the skin there is quite sensitive to the point of feeling aroused. Even mum says that she herself feels the same. In the end, she had to be persuaded by me or mum to do so. Higher chance of it working if it's me because of how close we are.

    She grew up thinking too much like a boy that it almost seemed as if my sister, from her point of view, had her gender changed and was feeling senses that are quite alien to her. As her brother, I can assure you my sister has been a girl since birth, though it might be my fault for brainwashing her into thinking she is a boy, but I was very young and, me being the older brother and her copying me, I never saw what I was doing back then as something only boys do. Even my parents were clueless as to how to raise me and my sister, and actually left me to take care of her when they saw her following and copying me, who doesn't know how girls should behave and instead had her adapt my male behavior. She faithfully copied me until she reached puberty when she got confused as what she think she was is completely different from what she is.

    My sister kept denying of being a girl and still want to be like me, until she realized that only female clothes are able to accomodate her growing breasts comfortably, which includes the middle school uniform she has been wearing all the time.

    As of High School now, she seemed to have given in to the female feelings in her and accepting the fact that she is a girl and not a boy she was raised to think. She doesn't blame me for it as she saw the effort I had put into raising her, and having nothing but myself for reference. However, she is still attached to me that it makes finding a girlfriend difficult. We do still think alike, but it's impossible for either of us to pass off as one another other than as text.

    I don't know what she does when she's not around me, apart from heading to a secluded beach near home. Although she still says that she doesn't like being a girl, her behavior is slowly progressing from an energetic boy to a shy young lady. It's amazing how quickly a person can change their personality and not notice it themselves without looking back.


    So, what is this great deal about me and Mizuho? Well, it started with my chess club competing with other schools in the prefecture. My clubroom only has some cheap and massed produced chest set made out of the same cardboard on packages for the board, and the same kind of plastic used for bottles, only harder. Nobody thought the cheapest chess set would be this cheap in quality. Nowhere near the quality that would be used in competition. However, the club is being realistic by competing with other schools at community places or, if proper facilities are available, at their school. Mizuho is one of those schools big enough to even hold several competition-level events. That academy is a really rich school that even the second most famous school in the city is nowhere this big both in terms of land size and number of students.

    The first time I entered Mizuho, I was amazed with how huge it is, and how futuristic the place looked compared with just the outside. I was told that the technology to achieve it had already existed that aren't widely used yet. Everyone I saw in there were girls wearing many different uniforms who all have the identically huge breasts that were larger than any female I know of. It was like a boy's paradise here. It never occurred to me at that time on what me and my club members looked like, but the students there did correctly identify us as students from Kobayagawa High, and I do remember everyone introducing themselves.

    However, after the competition with Mizuho, I realized that my student pass had gone missing. I don't know when or where it happened, and I had cover huge distances in the campus since entering that it would be an uphill task to trace back my steps. The receptionist told me that they would find it and told me to collect it in the morning, giving me enough time to reach my school on time. I guess people loose things quite often, and I guess the person who goes on patrol would forward things they found to the lost item counter at the end of their shift.

    Because I have to be back at the counter before heading to school, I was also told that I could stay at the dormitories of the academy for as long as I like by simply occupying any vacant room for as long as I like without paying any rent or fees. Of course, I told my parents that I'm staying elsewhere closer to school so that the time otherwise spent traveling to and from home would be better used for my studies. Rooms that are occupied are displayed. Maybe I could use this place as a place to stay since travelling to and from home is very long. It feels like I could study and do my homework better with this atmosphere at the campus. No wonder so many people who graduated from Mizuho are quite smart. It's because of that so many wanted to enter the school, which itself caused the entrance test to be just below Tokyo University in terms of difficulty. Although the academy could take in a lot of people, being popular means that it could be taken up quickly, and are sorted according to rank in the tests if there are more people than places.

    The dormitories are scattered all over the academy, and are not gender segregated. All are designed for up to four people, but most of the occupied rooms I walked past only have one or two people in it. The interior of the one I chose is like a nice hotel and the room temperature is maintained around 25℃ regardless of the external temperature. Strangely enough, there is no toilet or bathtub provided. What seemed like the toilet had some unfamiliar looking fixtures in it that I don't know what it's for, or how to use them.


    Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until I noticed on the train to school the following day, that I had collected the wrong student ID! I could see why I had easily made this mistake: it belonged to a girl who attends the same school as me, and even had the same way of writing and pronouncing the name as me. At a glance, everything on this card looks like the same as mine, with the only glaring exception being the photo on the student ID.

    Since this belonged to a student of my school, it would be common sense for me to bring it to my school's lost and found counter the first thing before heading for lunch. However...

    Receptionist: "What are you talking about? The photo on this student is you of course. Why are you reporting your own student ID as lost when you are holding it in your own hands?"

    Not wanting to argue, I walked away and kept it with me, wondering what to do with this student ID with a glaringly obvious picture of a girl with the gender stated as female. Everyone I asked also thinks that it belongs to me. Is it me who is seeing things?

    As I sighed while eating lunch, a beautiful girl came to sit opposite me. I didn't see her coming as she came from behind. I don't understand why she chose to sit at my table directly opposite me when there are tables with empty seats elsewhere in the cafeteria. However, I do admit that she looks attractive, and, come to think of it, she does have quite a resemblance to the unknown girl on the ID with me, but not exactly like the girl in the photo...

    Girl: "Hi there! I need to seat with someone so that my friends would not find me as easily than if I were to sit by myself."

    Wait, I should keep this thing before she talks about it. Who is this girl? I've never seen her before. Her presence is making my heart beat faster. Is this a potential girlfriend who is making her move first?

    Me: "Um, sure! G-Go on."

    An awkward silence soon followed. I'm too nervous to say anything. She looks like a first year, so maybe she isn't in any club yet.

    Me: "Er... I'm with the chess club. You seem to be a first year and our club is kind of small in the number of members. Do you know how to play chess?"

    Her facial expression tells me that she wasn't interested in chess, but does know something about it.

    Girl: "I only know the western chess, but I do get defeated very quickly when I play. No one pointed out where I did wrong. I don't intend to join a club because traveling time to head back home and doing homework alone is taking too much of my time outside lesson time. I intend to score good grades."

    Her mentioning not being in a club because she lives far away from school sounds awfully familiar. However, the conversation was awkwardly ended there as neither of us said anything until I finished my meal. I don't know why she didn't get up and leave in that span of time, but her presence and appearance as an attractive girl is infatuating me.

    Girl: "Well, it looks like my friends might have given up searching for me by now. I had fun talking to..."

    I really want her to be my girlfriend. I don't know when the next opportunity would come because it's rare for a girl to approach guys first. I have to say it now. She had been patiently waiting for me to finish my meal before saying that, which clearly means she doesn't have friends waiting for her as she never looked at the time or anywhere else besides me and my food, on top of being empty tables around us. A clear sign she was interested in me.

    Me: "Will you go out with me? Tell me you name, or at least where I can find you."

    Her face tells me that I had said certain keywords that she has been waiting for me to say. She seemed happy, which means it is now guaranteed that she will be my girlfriend.

    Girl: "Oh? I didn't? Well, I'm usually in my classroom for about 15 minutes after the last bell to prepare for my long way home... maybe we should give our email address while we figure everything out. By the way, I'm..."

    She started doing her hair as she was saying that for some reason. The hairstyle she is doing looked awfully familiar, like I have seen it several times before.

    Girl (in a different tone): "...Inami. Inami Yumiko. Your own younger sister."

    Huh? This perfectly attractive girl who has been attracting me was my own sister?! She's totally unrecognisable from what I'm used to from as recent as just yesterday morning. How did this formerly tomboyish shy little sister of mine became like an attractive young lady overnight? Was it something I said to her? Like, not relying on me too much that made her change? Why is she doing this to me?

    Sister: "Sorry, I was trying to see if you could recognize me with my new look, but since you didn't, I might as well give you a taste of what it's like when a girl walks up to you on her own, something that won't be like the real thing if you knew who I was."

    That was her little test to see if I could recognize her with her new look?! I've been fooled: women can really look completely different.

    Sister: "Us thinking alike means what I know about my own weaknesses would also work on you. Sorry... You raised me like a boy since before I knew anything, and that male way of thinking got me very confused when my body got increasingly feminine. I know I used to be so energetic and yelling with the other boys like equals, but I subconsciously became a shy girl that finds it difficult to look at boys. I'm still the same me as back then that can think the same way as you. Me trying to behave like a boy like I used to could trigger certain female instincts in me that makes it hard for me to be able to think. As much as I hate behaving like a girl myself, that is sadly what I am biologically, and what society expects me to behave."


    Later that day, I showed my sister that card. She seemed amazed as if she can't believe what she's seeing, but the last thing I would expect her to say from all that curiosity is what all the others has said: "Isn't this yours?". However, as she was saying that, she wore the expression on her face that suggests that those words aren't what she wanted to say and hinting to me that the card might be cursed. Either way, I came home that day to take my stuff to the Mizuho dormitory from the following morning onwards.


    While unpacking my things, my knee bumped into some furniture. I never thought much about it as it wasn't painful at all, until I realized that my skin just had direct contact with the object. I was puzzled at first because I could still feel my uniform's pants being worn at my waist, but as I walked around, I could feel that the bottom of it rubbing against my lower thigh. None of the shorts I have ever worn is that short or this much airy.

    As I looked down to see what happened to my pants, something else caught my attention: I have two round mounds forcing through from underneath my uniform shirt around my chest, which made an otherwise loose shirt becoming a tight fit. Why do I have it? These things are embarrassingly huge and they oddly feel a part of my body that I don't think it could be removed at all. I tried to have a closer look, but I was unable to unbutton it, which was when I also realized that the buttons are on the opposite side with no button at my collar. Looking further down, I saw myself wearing a skirt instead of pants, which explains what I felt while walking. What on earth happened to me? How did I not notice it earlier?

    I've gotten used to seeing girls wearing skirts of this length before, but now I'm wearing it myself, it feels like I'm wearing nothing! The idea of feeling nothing being worn even though I appear to be wearing something is an alien concept to me. Even as I sat down trying to figure out what was going on, I found myself automatically holding the back of my skirt before sitting down and my legs to either criss-cross each other, or stuck together and leaning to a side. (Was I sub-consciously doing that during chess practice yesterday?) Even with that, my skirt barely covered my legs from the cold surface of the chair I sat on. Do girls really face these problems with their skirts a lot? If so, why do I see them wearing it a lot and not complaining? In fact, every single person I saw in Mizuho wears only skirts that are actually shorter than what I'm wearing.

    Despite the very strong feminine things in my sight and mind, I never felt my male thing growing big and rock hard, which usually happens when I think too much of female things. As I found out, I don't have such a thing on my body and, in its place, felt a tightly shut slit that goes inside me. Do all girls have this too? I hate to admit, but not having a male thing there actually makes me feel more comfortable wearing a skirt and having my legs together.

    When I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw the face of the girl on the student ID from yesterday staring back at me, wearing the female version of my school uniform similar to what I see myself wearing now. There was no one else besides her that is visible in the mirror I was looking at, which I found strange as I did not see myself on it. I moved myself and saw that girl doing the exact same thing as me. She looked pretty attractive, if only she could be... WAIT! THAT GIRL IN THE MIRROR IS ME?! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!

    Did me and my club members look like this when we came into Mizuho yesterday? I never paid attention, but I did notice that every single person in this huge campus is female. I don't know how or why, but I don't have much time now to make it to my school on time.

    So, that student ID with me yesterday really was mine. The unknown girl was really the me as I am now. I now look more like a near-identical version of my sister than my male self. If they recognize the female photo of me as me in my male self, would they not notice that I've been turned into a girl when I turn up for class? I don't have the time to figure out how to turn back!

    At class, my classmates noticed and greeted me. Besides the usual people, there are more female classmates than male who greeted me. The fact that they weren't shocked on seeing me means that my classroom and school never changed: they didn't notice that I am a girl now, or they thought I had always been one. It's hard to tell which gender I am being treated as, though my best friend did have a different body language: looking at me a lot, but not at my face. At the chess club, we did talked about yesterday's practice match at Mizuho Academy, but there was no mention of being turned into girls, and neither did I see anything different with the club members who were there (or at least, what my memory is telling me).

    Several days has passed since it happened, but I still have yet to figure out how to be turned back. I did not return home or, except in text form, never talked to my sister. She doesn't mind me staying at Mizuho dormotories, but it can get suspicious to her not to see me at school. During those few days trying to figure out, I mysteriously never felt hungry or thirsty, or even felt the need to use the toilet the whole day since this morning. There was oddly no physical education classes either.

    So, how did I turn myself back into a boy? Well, a Mizuho High girl, with the name Kanade Haneda (羽田 奏) on her name tag, was calling me as I was walking around near the main entrance, where it contains the only asphalt road in the whole campus. The road leads to the office area from the outside, briefly passing past a research lab, and outdoor sporting facilities. (I don't get how Mizuho students can do sports very well when they can't even remove their regular school uniform.)

    Kanade: "Oh, hi there! Are you having problems taking out your uniform?"

    A girl from the high school department approached me. She had the name Kanade Haneda (羽田 奏) on her name tag.

    Kanade: "I know mine can't be removed until I graduate, but, for you, you can do it outside the campus as long as no one sees you, or know where you are exactly. This specific Kobayakawa female uniform you are wearing is actually a Mizuho uniform for visitors. Visitors of other schools would see that of their school version."

    Me: "Thanks for the tip. But how do you know this much detail?"

    Kanade: "I was... used as a model when they designed the uniform and have a brother who works here."

    If she says her brother works here, and being one of the people involved with designing of the uniform, she must have known about boys like me being turned into girls, but I'm not going to ask her about that.

    Kanade: "Your mother told me that you were staying here and, since I have to come here, I might as well meet you. From the images I saw at her office, you do look a lot like your younger sister, even when you were a child. I saw your student ID at the lost and found counter. Would had brought it to your mother if you hadn't told the lost and found office about it."

    How does she know about my mother?! I have to admit that me as my female form does make it possible for me and my sister to look alike again. Actually, it hurts more if we don't look alike. I only anticipated my sister to crossdress and trying out a deeper voice to be like me, not the other way where I am transformed. Being siblings with the same set of parents, I don't think my face looks much different than before, but gender-specific facial features makes it hard at a glance to confirm this. It seems that, on top of the free accommodation and utility usage, Mizuho is actually paying me to stay there.

    Me: "How did you know my mother? Are you even talking about the same person here?"

    Kanade: "Didn't she already told you about an important person at where she works looking out of place wearing a school uniform?"

    Hold on. Mizuho High uniform... Knows my mother well... Mentioned that she saw me and my sister on a photo at my mother's office... And I think my mother did mention about a misleading name tag being worn. Huh?

    Me: "Wait a minute! What were you doing at my mother's office, and how did you get there? She told me that non-employees aren't allowed to go any further than the hospital area unless with permission."

    Kanade: "Er... I forgot to introduce myself, did I?"

    She gave me a name card with her picture on it and briefly showed me her staff pass.
    Saeko Hisakawa
    Founder, Chief Executive Officer
    Powell Research Corporation

    Kanade: "My name is Saeko Hisakawa, the so called founder and CEO of Powell Research. I am the big boss there, so of course I can go anywhere I like around Powell, though my appearance can be misleading to those who don't know what I looked like. I have been kicked out of meetings by my own staff and scolded by security out of a misunderstanding, but I guess it can't be helped because I stand out too much to fit the image of a Powell staff. I can't even grow older or take out this uniform to blend in."

    I heard her saying "so called" when she mentioned her job title. She is strangely informal for an important person like her and appeared reluctant to mention her job post. There was no mention about her youthfulness, or why she had a different name in Mizuho. Also, to be kicked out of a meeting as a CEO by your own staff is crazy.

    Hisakawa: "If you excuse me, I have something to do now. I hope we meet again soon."

    I see her walking towards the Hatsuya branch. She seemed out of place for someone who is part of the upper management of a serious company. I have this feeling that other senior managers want to get rid of her for things like contradicting the company's policies, but with her holding the highest position, and founding the very company they work for, they can't do anything about it.

    There are rumours that if she hires people herself, that person would be hired without an interview. This means that they would not need to go through the hiring department that is infamously known for their strict interview process on top of requiring a degree for any position. However, for the founder herself to hire people itself is quite rare. According to staff hired by her, it came unexpectedly and she made it sound like a small company when describing it.

    After several encounters with my mother's boss, she allowed me to use her money to order anything I like, no matter how expensive it may be. She admitted that her personal relationship with me is now stronger than my mother.

    Hisakawa: "You see, my income is far too much for me to spend it for myself. Even if I retire now, I would still have a lot in excess even after considering spending it on expensive things everyday until I grow old, and setting aside funds for my family. I think I can also finance a huge fraction of any expensive project, or donate a large amount of to charity, but I would be attracting attention. Since I'm also seen as a founder of Powell Research, my actions can affect the company's shareholders funding even though it's unrelated."

    For some reason, Hisakawa always seem to imply to me that Powell is not hers and her attitude is more like being forced to take over a family business that she doesn't want to. Since the company is managed by the upper management team and not her alone, the company can run on its own without her input. She can override the decisions the upper management team has decided, and Hisakawa's decisions can't be overwritten. This also indirectly means that staff that were hired by Hisakawa herself, and some staff she has an interest on, can't be fired except by Hisakawa herself.

    After selecting the things to order from the online store, the delivery date was scheduled to be around the second week of March. The size of the order means that my presence is needed to collect the delivery from the courier. However, it is not yet clear when exactly the graduation ceremony would be and, as a second year student, be present to show appreciation for the graduating third years. Whether it happens and me being involved would greatly affect the address I would use to have it deliver to: my home, or the Mizuho dormitories. If it is delivered to home address, but with me not around when it arrives, there's the high possibility for my family to ask what I ordered and, particularly my sister, would open the package before I get back. The Mizuho dormitories seems like a safer choice.

    I don't know how am I going to reveal my appearance as a girl to my sister if she wants a picture of me, or hear my voice, inside Mizuho. If an emergency situation happens while I am there, it is highly possible that I would reveal it by accident. Knowing her, she could be shocked.

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    中野区, 東京都, Japan
    帰国子女 英語能力は堪能。趣味はアニメや漫画やプログラムコードを編集。通常、あたしの小説を英語で書いてです。Grew up abroad &travelled to different countries. I write my own fictional novel on my blog.