Haruka's Diary
Chasing After Rainbows: 2011

30 December 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 81)

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Kotomi has made it clear that she doesn't want to be a housewife, contrary to what most woman usually do, but that's declining in recent years with many married couples. Well, this isn't exactly surprising to me as she seems to be the career woman, but relaxed enough to think about family. If she works at what she's interested in, she could do well in it. Although, working environment and treatment by co-workers are contributing factors.

It seem that almost right after Kotomi said that she doesn't want to be a housewife on being married, Hatsuya as informed me and Itsuki that our working schedule might change. I was originally meant to do everything, but because my schedule includes being Mizuho student and Powell boss, which can't be changed, those times, including the buffer period around it, would have Itsuki or someone to take over. The children would have to be trained to not rely on their parents too much, but at the same time not doing it cruelly.

Maybe it would be less of a burden if the child who is old enough to take care of themselves be able to take care of their younger siblings, but someone whom they see as a parent is needed to be present to ensure that they don't get out of hand. The main problem is that both Itsuki and Kotomi look like the kind of couple who doesn't seem to know how to handle their own children. However, they noted that I seem to be giving out the same "aura" as Itsuki, so the children could also see me as a parent too, and Hatsuya could directly help me in taking care of them. I could understand that they could think of me as their father as a young child, but as they get older, what would they think of me as? Hopefully as their aunt or something.

Of course, the children in question have yet to exist at the present moment.

582nd post: Christmas? New Year?

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It's about 4-5 days after Christmas, and just another 2-3 days to New Year of 2012.

I don't celebrate Christmas to begin with, and I now have a hectic schedule that everyday seems the same to me. With me hardly watching the TV or listening to the radio these days I never even heard any Christmas songs at all. On top of that, Christmas day falls on a Sunday, and it seems no different from any other weekend.

In other words, Christmas is a non-even to me. I don't know if I would be up for the New Year countdown.

You know, this is actually my first time in a long time that I'm not away, and actually at home.

I brought this up because someone I followed on Twitter who is also following me said that I (or someone else named Haruka) am a bad girl for ignoring Christmas.

23 December 2011

Teary Promise (Part 12)

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If Hisakawa said that she had met my brother inside Mizuho, she must have known about his body changing. I mean, my brother and I go to the same school and, having seen a recent picture of me and my family (most likely the one taken during my entrance ceremony day last year), and knowing that me and my brother could look like the other if one of us tries to dress like one. I've seen my brother returning home directly from Mizuho, and if people saw him, they could easily mistake him as me in my school uniform, though he looks a bit different and I'm not well known enough on top of that for something to possibly happen. What I'm afraid of is not knowing if Hisakawa has already told my mother about it.

Also, I knew I had the sense of familiarity when I first saw her on the plane, because she's the same person as the computer club president that I met at the Kamisugi High school festival. Her wearing a name tag that clearly reads as "Haneda Kanade" even though her name is something completely different is very distracting. I didn't dare to ask her about it.


When I woke up, my mind wondered where I was until I remembered that I was in the hotel on a school field trip. It's like I had been booted up without my memory loaded until later on. When my senses came about, I heard the shower being used. There's no one besides my mom's big boss sleeping in the same room with me, so it should be her. I walked past the bathroom door and...

The door wasn't closed, and Hisakawa-san is visibly taking a shower while still wearing the same thing I saw her wearing the whole of yesterday. Who on earth take a shower with their clothes on?! Is she crazy?!

Hisakawa-san noticed me and turn the tap off. Her clothes seem unusually dry considering that water was splashed on her whole body just a few seconds ago. Huh? Am I seeing things? She's as dry as if she didn't take a shower at all, but there's water splashed around her, including the floor she's standing on.

Hisakawa: "Er... This uniform is somewhat like my skin. That's why the water bounced off, or you never saw me changing out of it. I can assure you that this outfit handles all the things my body needs by itself without me doing anything as..."

I didn't get what she said to me as she used terms I wouldn't expect to hear from her, or be mentioned the first thing right after waking up. From what I understand, she can't do anything about what she wears.

Hisakawa told me more of herself: her body is biologically around my age, but is actually 6 years older. She seemed to have be cursed by something that doesn't allow her to age or die. I didn't know such thing exists in real life, though things in my life has somewhat become illogical since I first witnessed my brother being transformed into a girl.

Hisakawa added that she cares more about Hatsuya more than Powell. Everyone knows that Powell competes with Hatsuya, but hearing that form the very person who founded that company to prefer a rival company over her own is something.

Me: "Are you saying that your staff disagrees with you?"

Hisakawa: "To tell you the truth, I never founded that company: A me of an another dimension did. Although it was officially founded 10 years ago, it never actually existed in this dimension until 4 years later. I was already working for Hatsuya before its sudden existance in this dimension. Of course, Hatsuya has a way of identifying their staff from a different time and dimension, and knowing if something has happened to them. Hatsuya is aware of my situation with Powell, but not the opposite."

It took me a while for me to get what she just said.

Me: "Huh? Powell did not exist until 6 years ago? Wasn't mum working for it for longer than that? I also remember Powell being mentioned from that time too."

Hisakawa: "Well, when the company suddenly existed, people's memories were also modified to not notice its sudden existence. The site it sits on before it appeared is, like what the company history says, was a large abandoned mansion, just simply untouched for a bit longer. The Powell employees could possibly be working for a completely different company just the day before it happened. If I'm not wrong, your family moving to your current house could be the result of this. Your mother could possibly be a housewife or was working for a company near where you previously lived. You could say my actions caused this, but, in truth, I have no control over it or knew that this would happen. I'm afraid I don't know how to undo it too."

I don't know if she's lying or not as having people's memories modified, including things associated with it, is hard to prove. I mean, if my memory has been modified already, I wouldn't know what it was like before it happened, especially if there were no hints pointing to it. Then again, my family moving to a town far away from the capital I grew up in is a hint. I don't even know if my own life is real or a super advanced system where every single object has it's own physics and texture rendering even more advanced that the latest video games I know of.

Hisakawa must be a strong person to comfortably manage something a normal person would find too much.


After breakfast, students were briefed of the itinerary. Due to the amount of students, they would go in their own groups when traveling in a large group is a bad idea, especially through crowded urban areas. The students were glad that they could form groups with students of other classes. For safety reasons, groups with less than 5 female students each should have a school staff. Male students could travel in groups of 2 or more without a need of a teacher, though the group can include female students. This means that a group with only 3 females without a teacher is allowed only if at least 1 male student or another 2 female students joins them. There is no gender ratio specified. This is also an obvious opportunity for couples to be together, except that I don't have anyone.

Students who aren't in any groups could form a team with each other, or join with a school staff, including ones who are already part of an another team. Of course, there are some specific needs, or someone a student can't join with. It sounds complicated to sort out, especially since the students are free to choose whoever they like and weren't grouped before the trip.

I would like to talk about the new things I encountered, but this is about me and not a travel guide of a city I'm not familiar with.

Not having any males that I know of, I joined a group of girls that had people I meet regularly. I mean, I would like Takuya to be with me, but he's... passed on. We went to a lot of places, but the excitement isn't exactly there with the people I'm with. It's hard to get over this sadness, but I still have my feelings attached to him.

13 December 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 43)

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It has been about a year since I had injected the solution made from some bits of me. Sure enough, my husband did become pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby girl with no abnormalities. Since the presence of anything genetically male during the child's development being completely absent, it's not possible for the child to be a boy at all.

This is my first child I could see with my own eyes: the children I gave birth too seemed to have gender-specific things appear censored to me for some odd reason, so I don't know if I have any sons. Now, I could actually know the name of the newborn child. Yuko (name of my husband in his female form) could see this child too. It would be a strange scene of two women having a child that resembles the both of them with no adult males involved. In this case, the mother of the child is the one who gave birth to it, which is my husband. It's can get confusing because the husband and wife (me) are each both a mother and father at the same time, but seemingly normal if you put it in terms of the more general parent and child.

During the child's development, Yuko seemed sad that she became pregnant, but appeared to have been expecting it to happen for quite a while. Yuko seem to have known she could become pregnant any time as the Mizuho uniform made her completely female and only has the uniform that would protect her from being raped, but the uniform itself keeps making the wearer strongly aroused on a regular basis on top of having to behave as if there's nothing wrong, though you could tell from their body behavior that appears as if needing the toilet urgently, but having no intention to go there (If this happened within Mizuho campus, it would be more obvious). It would appear strange if Mizuho girls talk to each other when this happens to all of them at the same time, but yet make no mention of it at all despite being so obvious.

12 December 2011

Dad, we don't need a car

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Dad, I want you to sell the car instead of getting a new one for the following reasons:
1. Tax
2. Depreciation in car value over time
3. Maintence costs, including other expenses and inconviences that may happen because of it.
4. Cost of fuel rising and pollution it causes
4a. Calculating the cost per liter, and fuel consumption, it's already clear that a train fare of the same distance is less.
5. There is a direct train form the house to the workplace, and the time you head to, or leave from, work is within operation hours.
6. Parking and toll fees
7. I usually never hear you taking the public transport.

Don't you see the expenses? You probably don't as total price per trip is not shown in your face. Can't you at least see the price of fuel and parking at least?

I don't know how much more money there would be in the household as you had drove cars for about 15 years now, and a motorcycle for some number of years before you married mum.

05 December 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 42)

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Quite some amount of time has passed since I found out about the big secret about me that even I didn't know about. My relationship with my children hasn't really changed since then, but the atmosphere with Itsuki does. I don't know if we are a married couple, or a group of friends hanging out together. I'm confused, especially when the family appears to be made up of three women, some children, but no men. Dig further and you would find out that those three women were previously men, but the children did come from one of them.

Since then, I see gender differences as nothing more than the role played in making an offspring. Nothing more. Studying science since young, I know about this, but I never thought that it applies to me too, though it does help to be knowledgeable about my feelings and not let it take over me. I don't like wearing gender-specific clothes, but being a woman, the shape of my bust is permanently visible no matter what I wear. I don't like it, but my life would be in danger if something wrong happens to these annoying things. Also, I may have longer life expectancy than men, but I could die if something wrong happens during childbirth. Having experienced those a few times, I could say that it's insanely painful. It seem like a sad fate by mother nature that females are designed to give birth to their offspring, and can't do anything about it on her own if  a male makes her pregnant.

I was at my workplace when the receptionist told me that somebody from headquarters wanted to see me personally at one of the rooms that I know are vacant with nobody likely to visit it at this time. She didn't say who it was other than them having a position higher than me. Who could it be? What did I do?

30 November 2011

576th post

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I guess I've been more active at twitter lately.

So, I have not even started writing any part of my stories as of late due to me being busy and worrying about serious things. My schedule is kind of tight at the moment.

Hopefully, I would have more time on Saturday onwards.

25 November 2011

575th post

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So, I have a lot of things to manage, things to do, and things that were pushed aside because of the more important things to do.

My room is gradually starting to become messy from stuff I just chucked aside just to have an item out of the way that it looks cluttered or were place in places where I completely forgot about.

Unlike earlier cleanups, I'm starting to have a clearer picture of what I don't need and being less sentimental towards things that are to be thrown out.

I have 3 separate bookshelves, and the shelve used to store my manga and video game cases is, apart from the lack of support to prevent items at one end from falling, is quite neat. The other two are messy and visibly has things I don't mind throwing out.

Quite a number that I don't know where to start. Well, I would like to get rid of the 21" TV and the 15" PC monitor (both are the CRT type; you know, those bulky things). Perhaps the DVD and PC unit from 10-15 years ago too. The TV is used for nothing more than for the DVD player I just mentioned (made redundant by other computers and the PS3) and the PS2. I hardly use any of the said devices here. Keeping it only for nostalgic reasons, but they would go if I have to clear out my room.

Also, certain buttons of the TV remote don't work, so I would need to go all the TV unit just to change channels and adjust settings. Remote is only good for turning it on/off, the volume, and certain channel numbers.

Stuff from previous cleanup
During my previous cleanup, the focus was only to clean the furniture interior, and get rid of the obvious trash. Stuff were moved around, but I never exactly sat down and check which of the things that were still kept were actually needed.

I would try to clean things up so I wouldn't have a hard time or have a lot to pack if I need to move, or to be placed in newer furniture. Clothes would remain untouched, though non-clothing items in the closet, and clothes placed in places that are in the way or being in the risk of becoming dirty would be moved.

Actual cleaning would happen when higher piroity tasks are done, and being in the mood for it.

16 November 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 80)

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The results of the year-skipping tests has arrived saying that I have passed it. I though that the people at Hatsuya headquarters would do anything to prevent me from the endless loop of going to high school for the rest of my life, but they didn't. In fact, they congratulated me for passing it.

I wonder why they let me? Did they finally notice my desire? Are they planning to use me for something after college? Looking at the situation, I could be taking care of Kotomi's future children, whoever her husband may be. Kotomi appears to want children, but not interested in taking care of them, I could be tasked to take care of them until the youngest child is old enough. She sees having children as a necessity to replace herself when she can't live on any more, so she doesn't care about the financial burden that it comes with like most couples today.

Throughout the rest of the year, I have helped to make Nanami (Kotomi's aunt, though younger than her) feel better from her brother and parents' deaths. I've also let Inami's son spend my money on whatever he likes, but he didn't spend as much as I wanted him to.

11 November 2011

Timeframes of the latest parts of my stories

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When writing my stories, I tend to get confused as to what year the stories are currently at. Knowing what the year is, and in some cases, the exact time and date, is important for me to sort out the events that takes place in that story.

As I write a different story right after the last one, it would make things even more confusing. Even more so if at least two or more coincide with each other a lot, with one being in a different year than the other.

So, here are the positions of where the stories are at the latest part:

Story 1 (completed) - Summer 2005
Story 2 (Part 79) - Autumn 2010
Story 3 (Part 41) - early 2020s
Story 4 (Part 6) - Summer 2011
Story 5 (Part 1) - early 1990s
Story 6 (Part 11) - October 2011

Note that the protagonist of story 4 (Nanami) and 6 (Yumiko) do not meet each other at all, but both have met the protagonist of story 2 (Saeko/Itsuki) at some point. Saeko/Itsuki and the protagonist of story 3 (Kotomi) are in a relationship with each other, so the stories coincide with each other a lot, but from each other point of view. However, story 2 is slow-paced, while story 3 is fast-paced, so the amount of redundancy is quite minimal.

Currently, I'm focusing my writing to Stories 2,3 and 6. The rest are delayed until further notice. I would usually release a story part once every 1-2 weeks with the aim to release it close to Sunday, though it's subject to what I could even think to write. This week, I released Part 79 of story 2 on Tuesday. However, I don't have any plans to put up the next one yet, though the possible ideas of what to write keep popping into my head.

The stories are divided according to what I could write at a given time, so these are not divided according to chapters unless you see the word "Chapter" in place of the word "Part", which has been done with Story 1 on the Wordpress blog.. Actual end of a chapter, and division with the next, in the same part, are divided with stars in the middle or a horizontal line. Sometimes, they actually end with the end of the part it's written in, with the next being a new chapter.

So, you're probably wondering why I keep referring to my stories by numbers instead of by the title that has already been given. Well, it gives me an easier time to refer to it as I wrote them and know which was written first.

Although it's been quite some time already, the title for story 1, "An Original Story by Me", is tentative as you can tell. I'm not good at coming up with an original name that fits the story at the same time without frying my head. Title of story 2, "Alternate Dimension", would fit for the earlier parts that take place when the protagonist was in Katsura High school (school name was not given until later on) and Mihara Academy, but the latter parts of it no longer fits the title. I could split up story 2 around the time the protagonist was made to repeat high school for the first time.

Outfit Design
Well, I never though of any yet. However, once I do, it would be somewhat be forever. As to the designs of the uniforms, I haven't though of it yet. Here's what I've thought of:

Mizuho High (Winter): Unknown, but it's a huge major change from the conservative-looking sailor uniform used before Saeko Hisakawa entered
Mizuho High (Summer): Navy-blue vest, white blouse, and a bow. Skirt design is very different from other uniforms used in Mizuho, which appears identical to each other, but more similar to that of other schools.
Mizuho College: Design is different from the High school section, and resembles more of a formal business outfit. Maroon or bright red blazer with a tie. Skirt colour plain, being either maroon or navy-blue. Skirt length should not be longer than a little above the knee level, and it physically disallows the wearer to be able to run, but is able to walk comfortably. This is worn the whole year round, with the addition of black stockings for cold weather.
Other schools: Only generic ones comes to mind somewhat.

09 November 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 79)

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After some discussion with Takagi, we decided to name the new employee of Powell Research as simply ヒトコ (Hitoko). No family name, and the given name is written in katakana. I feel strange writing it because it feels like I'm drawing random short, straight, lines. This name is clearly influenced by the nicknames used by song artists that might sing some anime songs.

Hitoko has transformed again, but it happened after the previous record of 100 hours. Nobody knows what the maximum is, and, according to the other two Hatsuya staff in the same situation, the transformation can happen more than once while asleep.

If this happens for the rest of her life, who else besides me (and possibly Hatsuya) would let Hitoko secure a job if her own identity keeps changing too frequently?

It hasn't yet be proven, but in theory, any injury or illness those three may get would disappear at the next transformation. Adding that to the fact that their physical age changes too, they could practically live forever like me, but won't survive if killed instantly or are dying and are not cured or transformed in time.

As for finding a place for her to stay, I seem to have already own an apartment unit in the city that I had already paid for in full, so the only thing left is to have someone to stay in it. So I had let Hitoko stay in it for free: I'm already receiving more money than I can spend, so I don't need more money to come in.

31 October 2011

Teary Promise (Part 11)

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Being in a foreign country for the first time, it suddenly occurred to me that reduced food, electricity, and business hours in light of the earthquake back in March, does not apply to here at all. Buying things using a currency I'm not used to has make me feel disoriented on whether the numbers on the price tag of an item is considered cheap or expensive. They said to divide a number by 100 from the yen as a rough guess, but seeing something that costs 800yen back home being labelled as 25 in that currency, which itself after currency conversion, is worth 650yen or US$9, is making me even more confused.

Waking up, having breakfast, preparing things, travelling to school, waiting for everyone to gather and brief, taking the train to the airport, having lunch, waiting for the plane to depart, duration of flight plus delays, timezone differences. All of this has made us tired from travel alone and lost track of how long we have been travelling. The sun had already set when we arrive.

As it seems, even though the airport itself has good transportation links, we were ushered on to the coach buses that would bring us to the hotel. Though it doesn't look like it's at a hidden place, you wouldn't know where the coach bay was unless you explored or were told of where it was as the public buses are located elsewhere. The number of buses, and knowing that each large ones would fit the whole class with some empty seats remaining, easily tells us how many people there are in total.

Due to the layout of the hotel, some had a room to themselves, some shared with another, and others three or more people per room. The hotel may be able to accommodate everyone, but there aren't enough rooms of any one type to accommodate all. Practically all hotels outside Japan are only of the western style.

I don't know what they were thinking, but I was assigned a room for two people. It's common sense that everyone in a shared room should not have anyone of the opposite gender sleeping in the same room, so I can't have the schoolmates that I know, who are guys, to sleep with me. Those guys are sleeping in a large room all to themselves, but they can't invite me simply because I'm a girl.

Rooms that have empty beds would have a teacher sleeping in it. Since male teachers can't sleep with the girls, but with the contradiction of female teachers being able to sleep with the male students (unless there is already a male teacher there), that affected how the students are assigned. Each room could have more than one teacher, or none at all. Of all the people who could have slept with me, it's that girl from the college section of Mizuho Academy sleeping with me. I was hoping for my homeroom teacher or a classmate at least. Oh well, it's not like meeting someone new is a bad thing or if there's anything wrong with her.

Mizuho girl: "You're Inami-san, right? It's been a while since I last saw you. Your mother has been worrying about your safety since she started working at headquarters long before the earthquake. I came along for the trip not because she asked me to, but because I'm the one providing financial assistance. I've also met your brother too, and I could see how similar he is to you in appearance."

Huh? I've met her before, and she knows my mother and brother? From what she said, she's also that "mysterious" sponsor.

Me: "I'm sorry, but how do I know you?"

She took a look around the room and the corridor outside as if making sure that nobody could hear what she's about to tell me.

Mizuho girl: "Remember the computer club president of Kamisugi High two years ago? That was me. My name tag might say otherwise, but my name is Saeko Hisakawa, founder of Powell Research Institute and I work for Hatsuya Research Institute. Although, it's also a fact that I'm a college student at Mizuho, and I think your brother has already explained how difficult it is to take off the uniform. Before you ask, I'm really a girl even while not wearing the uniform, and, except for my hairstyle, my actual appearance is no different from what I look now. I'm actually 6 years older than you, and I was a year 1 Mizuho high school student just last year."

WHAT?! My mother's big boss from work is right in front of me, but me having met her in an unrelated situation, and has the appearance that would misled you from what you would think she does. What she described to me about herself is making me even more confused with things that contradict each other. Founded company A, but working for company B? If she's was a year 1 at Mizuho High last year, how is she in college now or 6 years older than me? It's common knowledge that Powell has been founded almost 10 years ago, but if the founder is still a student now, then...? Huh? Unless she was actually in primary school when the company was founded, something doesn't seem right here.

Hisakawa: "Looking at your face, I think you're confused about what I had just said. Don't worry, I'm even confused as to what I am exactly myself too as I just suddenly woke up one day to be like this. Oh, and please don't tell your mother about what I just said to you, and you don't need to be so formal with me just because I'm more senior than you. I feel lonely when you do."

For a big boss of one of the largest companies I know, she doesn't look and behave like one.

Me: "So how do you know my brother?"

Hisakawa: "Well, your mother showed me a picture of the two of you: both present and during your primary school days, and she said that you looked and behaved like your brother until you entered middle school, when gender-related body growth differences became more obvious. She said that your brother was in the chess club, while you aren't in any. At a chess tournament in Mizuho against your school, I saw what I though was you, but knowing from your mother that you aren't in any clubs, I knew it was your brother."

Me: "Back in March before the earthquake... was it you too?"

Hisakawa: "If you are referring to the two girls he met who was throwing away their money and letting by whatever he wants with it and then collecting it on the day of the quake, yes, one of them is me. The other is... my sibling that I'm not close with. Anyway, we should go to sleep now for a long day ahead."

Hisakawa did not remove her shoes or change clothes before she climbed to bed and sleep.

27 October 2011

570th post - Busy

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I currently have an assignment that's to due quite soon, and most likely a test a week after. Also, I'm having a hard time thinking of what to write for it.

I am thinking of writing of part 11 of "Tearful Promise" (6th story), but nothing has actually been planned or written yet. I'll start doing it when I can.

Keep an eye on my twitter profile for updates, and the little things that indirectly affects me writing it. Updates for my blogs should have a #twitter hashtag.

23 October 2011

Teary Promise (Part 10)

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About half a year has passed since the earthquake happened. Everything has started to become normal again, and the mess caused by the tsunami in affected areas mostly cleared up, though there are still shipwrecked ships and empty areas where destroyed houses used to stand. Only the roads, surviving buildings, and some trees, tells us where everything was. Electricity is gradually returning back to normal, though some energy conservation measures implemented since the earthquake are still visibly in place. Sadly, it seems as if the world has stopped caring about the incident itself.

There have been small earthquakes since then that were more frequent than usual, which might be possibly be and aftershock of an aftershock. There was a typhoon that nearly threatened to hit the already-damaged nuclear plant and scatter its radiation just recently, but it became weak enough to be not much of a threat when it arrived.

Some boys in school have started to talk to me often since the start of the academic year than over the previous year, and I sometimes find myself walking with them to train stations. I don't really see them as friends as they never come across my mind, but they are talking to me as if we are. To me honest, my mind is still filled with Tatsuya. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too depressed to notice that I am surrounded by friends that care about me.

These days, my brother doesn't even want to head home together with me. This is partly because he wants to hang out with his friends, and another being that he is in third year of high school and is preparing to enter university. His current grades allows him to enter any average college, but he's aiming for a better one. Even he, like everyone else, wants to enter the top universities in Tokyo. So there's stiff competition there, not only from our school, but the whole county. Chances may seem slim, but he says that if he doesn't even try, there isn't any! At best, at least one that is not the top, but still rated above-average.

Being in the later half of high school second year, this means that excursions would be taking place soon, as the third year is mainly focused on studying for college entrance examinations from around this time of the year until before the exams itself. I also doubt that such things would even happen in college or working life, at least with a large group and not have pay most (or all) of the cost with my own money.

The excursion trip usually brings us to somewhere with all the second years. The committee behind organizing it has been indecisive on choosing between local (Kyoto in particular) and overseas: some argued about knowing "our" culture, and experiencing what it's like to be in a foreign country as almost everyone has never been out of the country before. Since the effects of the earthquake is still being felt with disruptions, and the value of the yen is getting stronger against many currencies, the overseas option was chosen. (Sadly, it's not to Europe or America as everyone was hoping.)

The cost of things at the current exchange rate seem as though everything outside of my country is cheaper, with the exception of the ones made here being sold there. I feel strange seeing things from my country at a place overseas. According to my brother who claimed to have overhead the committee behind it, the country we would be headed to would have expenses, in our currency, be at least two to four times cheaper. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, but I do know that the school had already used quite an amount of the school funds to help out students and parents of students who were directly affected by the earthquake.

Barely a day after the school announced the initial plans, an anonymous sponsor approached to help finance a large majority of the costs involved and allowed the school to pick a better place to visit and stay using the sponsor's money entirely. There are rumours that the person helping out doesn't want the money they have, which seems quite a lot. This has allowed the school to upgrade to a better place, though they said that since we "already had a lot of exposure of western countries", they picked another country that is in the same region as the initial choice, though the standard of living there is closer to ours.

Except for those who chose not to go for the trip, we were told about what to pack, the necessary documents to prepare, and changing some money of the currency there. Everyone was amazed with the money from how colourful it was and most of them never had a hold of a currency besides the yen before that they are most used to. It appears that some of my classmates have been to overseas before, but only with their family.

The school told us some things that almost caught us off-guard: we would also need to get an adaptor for electrical devices to fit into the wall socket there and check if it supports a voltage used there, which is different from the one here. We were also told that, except for some particular models, our mobile phones might not work. Even if it does work, steep fees might be faced. They suggested getting a prepaid card with a compatible phone there, use pay-phones (if there is anyone who could be called on top of being uncommon these days), or use online services.

The day of the school trip has come. Unexpectedly, a girl in a uniform of the college at Mizuho Academy was seen together with the teachers. On her name tag, "羽田 奏" was written, which tells us that her name is Haneda Kanade. Her uniform looks almost like a formal business outfit, but in a different colour and texture. Not sure if the shoes and stockings she's wearing are part of it too.
[Author's note: Students of Japanese schools wear their school uniform during school excursions, including overseas trips.]

She's might be attracting attention when we are over there. I don't know why a girl from that elite school came along for. Her uniform alone stands out from those from my school, and I have this odd feeling that I've seen her more than once before. Except for what students aren't allowed to wear, with more specifics for the course they take, students of normal colleges could wear practically anything while studying there, but the college at Mizuho is the only one I know of that actually has a standardized uniform like those in middle and high schools. What is she doing here with us anyway? Kobayagawa High has no relations with Mizuho Academy at all.

When the plane took off from the ground, it felt like I was riding a roller coaster, but in an enclosed space and infinitely going up without ever heading down. My ears felt funny too.

The duration of the flight takes just as long from the start to the end of a school day to get to, according to the flight info. Since I'm mostly confined to my seat since boarding it, my body has started to feel funny. I have my friends around to kill my boredom, but I'm not the kind of person who likes to sit in a chair the whole time.

On landing, the first thing I noticed are that the license plates of vehicles are completely different, but the ads on the bridge that links the plane to the terminal is from the very same bank as where we left! I don't feel any different from being in a foreign land, but seeing things that I'm used to, but in a different style, feels as if I am looking at a new thing I've never used before.

Being in a foreign land and how things here work and look are different. Wait... Doesn't that make me a foreigner here?

17 October 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 41)

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Since I am quite close to Saeko's company, I could drop by there to ask for help, but the level of rivalry of Powell staff with Hatsuya is so great that the former would refuse to corporate with the latter. Me wearing an outfit with Hatsuya's logo on it being glaringly obvious and not knowing how to take it off kind of rules out heading there for help. They probably don't even give me a chance to explain myself.

Either way, I contacted Saeko to see if she's not busy. From the voices I heard in the background, Saeko seemed glad to use me as an excuse to get out of the situation she was in at the time I called her, though Saeko didn't say what she was doing at that time. Oddly, she said not to tell my husband about it yet.

When she saw me, she knew immediately knew that I had went to Mizuho and my discomfort with the clothes I couldn't take off. Apparently, I was wearing the rarely-seen Hatsuya Research uniform that non-Mizuho based staff would wear, which has a separate version. The adjustments that my principal did to all Mizuho girls was not reflected on Saeko as she wasn't there today.

Saeko: "I can see that you had been Mizuho just as I suspected... I wasn't able to warn you about this earlier because you had never been in there before, but Yuko and I were suffering with the strange happenings that nobody is able to talk about or be able to take action to stop it."

You are indirectly saying that it is normal?!

10 October 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 78)

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The closer I brought the friend to Takagi, the more nervous I got about how Takagi would react to it even though I have no involvement on how the friend became what he is like now that has the body to keep changing quite frequently without control. He currently looks and sounds like an office lady, and is unknown when the next transformation is, but an hour with an even number in it would be approaching soon.

Transformations frequencies varies between 2 to 100 hours, with the lower end being more common, always happens at the top of the hour, and the number of hours of these frequencies are always dividable by 2 without a remainder. That makes it easier to prepare for it, but preparing for a transformation that could happen between every 2 to 100 hours without knowing when exactly it would be can be quite stressful. Knowing exactly when it would be or, even better, not worrying about it at all, is less stressful.

07 October 2011

In Memory of Steve Jobs

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Steve Jobs
1955 - 2011

One of the greatest pioneers in shaping the world of information technology, Steve Jobs had helped changed the world that had span many decades.

He envisioned having computers that were user-friendly to people that have little knowledge on computers, and also have one that is small enough that would fit into people's homes. He also reinvented the music and mobile industry.

May he rest in peace.

26 September 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 40)

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Me: "Is there a way to tell how stressed Saeko is if she can't express it emotionally?"

Principal: "Well, one way to tell is from her actions or the number of things she has to cope with sententiously. You can ask her yourself, of course, but you should be careful about the timing that you do it. Since she respects you the most and relied upon for emotional support, she might approach you herself while not in a good mood. Another way to tell is to check her system status, which is the most accurate, but hard to access without Saeko herself being aware of it even though she has no control over it. Do you have other questions? I might not remember everything I'm supposed to tell you since it has been a few decades."

About Seko or Mizuho Academy... that I can ask someone else later. Oh, there's one thing that has been bothering me.

Me: "You said that I have children that I gave birth to, right? But why do I find it had to see them or have gender-specific terms that refer to them appear censored to me? I could only sense their presence, but Itsuki and Saeko could see them normally. There isn't a problem with other people's children. So far, no one but Saeko could understand my problem. I don't know if it's related."

I find it odd that I even have this strange illness to begin with. It's not that I don't care about them, it's just that I find it hard to see them.

Principal: "Oh, I forgot about that. Well, it's hard to see what it's like form your point of view, but based on your behaviour, we could tell that it has been bothering you of being able to maintain a good family relationship. We are thinking that it could be related to you being completely genetically turned into a girl from a boy, and this being one of the few oddness that doesn't show up until a long time afterwards. It's like a part of you not accepting that your body is able to give birth to your children, a subconscious part of you that had developed as a male even though most of your mind, and your entire body is female."

I am subconsciously denying that I even have children? How come I wasn't aware of it myself? No wonder that there's even confusion with my own mind. No wonder it felt as if my body was on auto-pilot when I came across a problem I don't really understand. I knew that there was something odd about me doing so well academically.

19 September 2011

Teary Promise (Part 9)

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We had attended Tatsuya's funeral, which seems to also include his parents who were working at the bakery below his house when the tsunami hit it. His extended family, friends, and co-workers attended too.

For being his girlfriend, and quite close to him, his death impacted me the most. It left me a huge void in my heart. My willpower to find another boyfriend is weak since I had already poured my heart and soul on Tatsuya, but if it wasn't for my brother who comforted me, I would be feeling worse now.

It was that day after the tsunami on returning home, dad was comforting me and my brother who... hold on. Something is wrong with my memory: dad had clearly said "my two daughters" instead of "my daughter and son" when he hugged me and my brother on seeing us for the first time since the quake. I also kept thinking that my brother was a girl that whole day. How on earth did I not notice it until now? Why did I actually see Tsukasa as a sister instead of a brother crossdressing?

Tsukasa: "Um, are you okay? You seemed oddly shocked instead of sad..."

Me: "Were you with me on the day after the quake?"

Tsukasa: "Of course I was. You were with me the whole time at the evacuation centre as a matter of fact."

My memory from that day is clearly that of me being with a girl that I oddly refer to as my brother. However, I couldn't bring up that topic up. His answer a while had me doubt if that girl was him or if someone else was in his place.

Tsukasa: "If you are thinking about that, I can assure to you that what you remembered is exactly the same as what happened."

Remembered what exactly? Or are you saying that the strange memories I oddly have actually happened as I remember seeing?

Tsukasa: "I think you would be less confused if you just think of me as your older sibling and don't think too much about what I looked or sounded like at any point in time."

Spring has arrived, but the atmosphere is gloomy despite the blooming cherry blooms around. (Quite a number of its flowers dropped during the quake.) The area where the harbour town was looked like a big open land filled with rubble and ships washed ashore. The furthest the tidal wave reached could easily be seen by the vegetation. Only concrete buildings, and steel frames of some others, remained standing. Worked has started to clear the rubble, but due to the vastness of destruction and limited manpower, it's progressively slow. So far, it's limited to clearing out the roads.

Besides rubble, foreigners were seen in the destructed area either helping out the affected, or picking things in the mess, including a safe. It's unknown if the latter group are helping out too, or looting.

Since a nuclear power plant in the neighbouring prefecture was damaged by the tsunami, and straining the remaining working power plants, people are also faced with blackouts and radiation fears. People who didn't know what radiation was were overacting, especially people overseas, and referencing it with a nuclear plant explosion in eastern Europe about 25 years ago. It's true that there's dangerous radiation emitted from both incidents, but not as big as the one in Europe. Also, my town is certainly within the safe range even though it's closer to the plant than the capital.
Around my town, and the city where my school is, quite a number of electronic signs, vending machines, and even escalators, were turned off to relief the strain of electricity demand.

The news of students at my school affected were known to everyone. Staff, students, last year's third years, and this year's first years too. People who knew I was Tatsuya's girlfriend, or knew I had a boyfriend that had died, were trying to have me feel more comfortable.

18 September 2011

564th post

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This is possibly the umpteenth time that someone has asked me about my contact information. I'm starting to get annoyed about it. Seriously, did anyone read the "FAQ/About Me" section of this blog at all?

First was around early 2009, where this person (with a DP of Hiiragi twins from Lucky Channel) gave me inside info about the person who was plagiarizing things from me around that time. I never gave him my home address, but he sent me things to me. Back then, I didn't know it was from him, until I mentioned it. I was spooked at how he knew it.

Next were countless number of people who wanted to add me to Skype/"MSN"/Facebook, but I have to reject them for the following reasons:
  1. Are they stalking me?
  2. I don't use them regularly
  3. Past experience tells me that I would either be ignored or bombed with questions I don't want to answer. Relations are also likely to become sour, so they are better off not adding me.


16 September 2011

Windows 8 development preview

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(cross-posted from my inactive technology blog)

I've got my hands on the preview version (a development stage earlier than beta) of Windows 8. I installed it on the laptop I bought earlier this year on an another drive partition, keeping the pre-installed Windows 7 intact. According to the specifications, you can also install on a PC that meets the requirements of Vista on it too. (Windows XP or other operating systems? It depends on your hardware, but certainly a PC from 1997 won't do.)

It features a new start screen, and the more familiar desktop screen somewhat secondary. I don't have a touch-screen based interface, so bare in mind that this was used with a keyboard and mouse. Since the aspect ratio is 5:4, with a resolution of 1280*1024, certain features like snap to the side of the screen are unavailable.

To access all programs here, press the WinKey and C. To have those black boxes at the bottom of the above screenshot to appear, just hover the mouse at the bottom left. Option to shut down, sleep, restart, etc., are in there too. Wifi could be selected either in the settings menu here, or the taskbar of the desktop.

This is the weather app. Depending on your screen resolution, you can see only part of it, or the whole thing plus other cities you added. The background image is animated, which is based on the current weather and the time of the day. I don't know how to adjust the settings, but the date/time is in Japanese format, the temperature is in degrees Fahrenheit, and wind is in mph.

Next is the Twitter app that it comes with. I don't see where the settings are, and clicking on a username will bring up the user profile on the Twitter website via Internet Explorer instead of the app itself. CJK characters don't seem to be rendered smoothly. For some reason, when I tweet from this app, the tweet went through, but doesn't update here. (I knew the tweet was successful via another device.) Another oddness is that my timeline is blank, though when I sign in with my other twitter account (below image), it appears fine. I don't know what the problem is.

(Parts of this image is censored out to protect privacy)

Next up is another social app, but for Facebook. It features feeds from friends, your photos, profile, and the Foursquare-like thing called Places. The interface looks like it could be improved further. In the photos section, any images that are not of 1:1 aspect ratio have ugly black bars surrounding it, especially vertical images (not shown). The image thumbnails were simply resized instead of cropping it.

I would like to try out other applications, but the app store isn't open yet. The apps that it already comes with seemed to be specifically designed for touch interface. They work with keyboard and mouse, but I don't feel comfortable using those with those apps.

Overall, Microsoft has done some great effort in radically changing the user interface that has not been seen since Windows 95 with an interface called Metro. Metro is based on the (now discontinued) Zune player interface and has been applied to UIs, such as Windows Phone 7 and Xbox Dashboard. However, I have to say that it's confusing to people who have been used to the older interface. I know a lot of companies that still run Windows XP with the classic interface (Win2k/ME/98-like) today. Then again, I don't want to see a visibly old interface that is still being used a decade later.

11 September 2011

A Day to Remember

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Today, around this time 10 years ago, terrorists has struck the World Trade Center in New York city. There were many deaths of people that resulted from this.

Since then, security, particularly bording planes, has heightened.

To those who were affected by this, I apologize for posting this, but those who didn't know what it was like exactly, or what the atmosphere was like, particularly children, this actually happened. Something that can happen to anyone anywhere.

The video below is a recorded footage as it happened.

10 September 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 77)

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Girl with long hair: "Where... am I? That flashing green light has knocked me out... Wait, why am I speaking perfect Japanese as if it's my native language, English ability reduced, and forgot the other languages I know? And, did someone adjusted the pitch of my hearing, or have I become a...? Saeko, is that you? I haven't seen you in months. And... who are these two other girls wearing the same outfit as me?"

Takagi's friend has woken up from sleep, but is shock at what he has been turned into. The impact of this shock seems small though. Well, if he wanted to have his identity changed completely, he wouldn't want to look like his former self and is willing to accept anything that he would be turned into. I'm also surprised that his language abilities was affected by the change too. Whether this is something that the professor or that mysterious doll has done is unknown to me as I don't have the details.

04 September 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 76)

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After that last company meeting, the perception of me to the Powell staff has changed. They used to imagine me as a lady somewhere between the 30s and 40s, doesn't show herself except in the messaging system or important meetings, and, just as the staff personally think they can get away with doing something bad, they would unexpectedly receive a notice from me that I know what they had done. Now they see me as someone they can't fool, has a lot of knowledge of things, and a deceiving appearance of a high school girl instead of a middle-aged woman in formal business suit people imagined me to look like. I could sense that my staff were distracted by how I looked when they talk to me. In terms of what the average staff wears, how old they look, or how they behave, I would stand out a lot. Who knew that what seems like a teenage girl running around like a child is the founder and big boss of one of the largest research companies around?

People in high position tend to be greedy, I would listen to the regular staff more than the people in between. An example of how I caught supervisors abusing their powers were when they were abusing the staff under their direct supervision, and threatened to blackmail them by having prepared fake, but convincing, evidence and present it to me and have them fired over things they never did. To make matters worse, they have more of their colleagues to side with them enough to make it look like the victim really did something wrong and threatened to give me the fake evidence if they tell others who could help them. Of course, I would side with the victim if I get a word of it, but due to the threat, they never did. I only know of it when it got to the last stage where they would need my approval for a supervisor to fire a staff over an alleged wrong-doing thing.

Once I got the notice, I investigated the case and, with my time viewer that allows me to look at the past, I could see events that aren't even recorded. (It's as if the whole world I'm in is a game, and I'm given administrative privileges to look into the things behind it.) They would be stumbled when they found out that I knew the truth among the very convincing lies and reject the request. Depending on how corrupt the supervisor and the people involved are, I might also dismiss them at the same time too. When people caught wind of this, the number of such cases dropped. Of course, some didn't believe it and did the same thing.

01 September 2011

Teary Promise (Part 8)

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As we walked into the sports hall, my brother seemed uneasy. She has been like this since we got here.

Me: "What's wrong?"

Tsukasa: "I was thinking if my friends are affected by this. They may be living far away from the sea, but you would never know if they were there when it happened."

Me: "Me too."

Tsukasa: "So, here we are. The list of the refugees here, and the list of the dead over there. I'll help you to look through the list. What's the Kanji of this Tatsuya person?"

I wrote "立谷起也".

Tsukasa: "Okay. Got it. That's a normal looking name, until it comes to the pronunciation. Sorry if I had made fun of you. Until you wrote down the name, I though you were mentioning his name twice."

I search through the list of the refugees in here, while my brother looks at the rest. The name lists might look as if it's not listed in any particular order, but it's actually arranged according the first syllable of the family name.

I checked and double checked the list of refugees here because I can't seem to find Takuya's name anywhere. I have to ask someone.

Passerby: "A name with these characters? Hmm... If I'm not mistaken, it's on the list right next to the girl in a school uniform over there that she's looking at now. I remembered that name because I regularly buy bread from Tatsuya Bakery every morning."

He was pointing to the list of the missing and deceased. There's no other person over there besides my brother, but her appearance does match the description as described by the man I talked to.

Me: "Thank you..."

Passerby: "If you're unsure, you can ask the staff around here."

I didn't want to go over there, but I didn't have anything else to do than to hopelessly look through the list that I had already looked at in detail twice.

I walked over to my brother, at the list she has yet to look at: the missing and dead lists are longer than the refugee lists.

Tsukasa: "Did you find his name?"

Me: "No luck there. Maybe he had went elsewhere... WHAT?!"

I saw Takuya's name on the list of the confirmed dead. No... Tatsuya... Why...? I don't...

My world was turned upside-down. The very person I loved the most has died... But I just saw him just earlier this week... I was too sad that I didn't realize that I was brought to around the area of dead bodies where we talked to a safety officer earlier, the area where the identified dead are. Suddenly, in addition to my brother, I was surrounded by a number of people. Some were staff, and the rest mostly the refugees. They wanted to confirm if it's who I think it is.

They opened the bag the dead body is in. I don't know what...


The dead body in question is indeed him. My brother was trying to comfort me as I cried loudly. My sadness was too great that it did little to calm me down. Everyone simply stood there, looking downwards, out of respect to me. Nobody tried to stop me from crying, nor was I able to stop. It was really sad to think how much we both loved each other, but he's gone. It left a big void in my heart.

The trip back home was rather quiet. I felt as if my life was meaningless now that the very person I loved is dead. Ambulances and police cars with sirens turned on still reminded me of the tsunami that killed him.

Tsukasa: "We're home..."

Dad ran to us on sight and hugged the both of us, with a hint of relief in his voice. It did not make a difference to me to my mood at that time. I wasn't in the mood to speak, and neither was I paying attention to what was being said: I was depressed on thinking about Tatsuya's death.

Dad: "Oh! I'm so glad that my two daughters are okay. I was worried since our house is not far from the shore. Yumiko? What's wrong? Your mother is fine too, though she's working at the moment."

Tsukasa: "We went to an evacuation centre in Ooarai town earlier to check on her boyfriend, but he and his family was among the dead. We both saw the bodies."

Dad: "Poor thing.... Well, take care of her and make her feel better. I'll go prepare dinner. Food supplies are quite scarce from people stocking up on food and delivery of new supply possibly disrupted."

My brother brought me to her bedroom and sat next to me and patted my shoulder. As she made physical contact with me, my level of sadness level has been mysteriously reduced.

Me: "Hey... how did you do that? I'm mysteriously feeling better the more you touched me."

Tsukasa: "I- I don't know..."

She seemed genuinely shocked.

31 August 2011

New domain

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I have purchased a new domain for this blog.
the1iam.blogspot.com, and any posts/pages with that will now automatically redirect you to takhsiru.net. The new URL should work by 2nd September for everyone.

Note: takhsiru.blogspot.com would direct you to my anime blog instead.

27 August 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 39)

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The principal looked at me quite uneasily. He seemed as if he wanted to say something to me, but stop short of saying anything.

Me: "You said my mum would have 6 children back then, but there's only 5 now. Did I have an older brother?"

Principal: "Well, your mother was getting exhausted from being made pregnant and giving birth for 6 straight years after the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th child. We determined that she has lost the willpower to have another, so we let her have a break and had the 5th as the final one. You noticed that, in that video, there was a male child, but you recalled that they said that the baby was the first child. You also noted that, including you, there are only 5 children in the family, and you didn't have an older brother. Well, that baby was... er..."

Me: "What happened to him? He died before I was born?"

After quite a number of hesitation, he picked up the confidence to say it.

Principal: "That baby didn't die... you were that baby."

That sent me a moment of disbelief. The principal is not the type who would tell a joke about a person, but the logic from what I've learnt and experience doesn't seem right. There's no way I could have been born a boy...

20 August 2011

555th post:  (・_・)

1 comment:

Although I'm not being paid to write the stories by me on this blog, or was asked by anyone to write, I need something to cover my day-to-day expenses. Since my focus is on my real life day-to-day activities, and those blog stories, my other blogs seems somewhat neglected. Twitter seems to have become the medium to talk about the updates to my blogs, though if I feel like I might want to search for it later on, or something so detailed that it wouldn't fit in a tweet, I might post it there.

Having received no comments on most of my posts, sometimes I wonder if people are even reading my blog. If I didn't have Twitter followers in the hundreds or have people following this particular blog (via Google Friend Connect widget), I might have felt demotivated to continue from the lack of support.

You know, these banners on this blog has been around for a while, but after a very long period of time (years), I've not made anything out of it. Oddly enough, the usual one, even though small, says that I'm not earning anything, which is a historic low since it started. However, the others, it's nothing and it's clear that I should remove them, to enable the site to load faster, and to you, possible less of an eyesore. (On second thought, my blog would look plain without them.) Maybe the FAQs might tell you more.

Oh, I'm working on "Disoriented Feelings" part 40 now, but it's not ready: I see very huge chunk of text that has not been broken down or edited.

13 August 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 75)

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The day of the annual Powell Research meeting that I'm supposed to show up has arrived. I personally don't want to show up, but being the founder, my absence could lead to a negative reputation to many people. Some of the major reasons that I don't want to show up is that my Mizuho student uniform can't be removed until I graduate from there. I entered there only April this year, and Hatsuya Research had made me attend it.

Most of my employees almost never seen me in person as their founder, where photos of me were in in my formal corporate attire appear in the company's publications, and press releases from our clients, which I normally wear in official meetings. They have, however, seen me as the high school girl that runs around the company's premises daily, but they never see me as the founder or the schoolgirl as being the same person. The fact that I couldn't take the Mizuho uniform off to wear the formal one, on top of me having to attend the company meeting, is forcing me to reveal my double identities. If they were to look at me, they would notice 羽田奏 (Haneda Kanade) on the name tag of my Mizuho student uniform, and a supervisor-level pass with my photo and 久川沙江子 (Hisakawa Saeko) written on it. It's going to cause unavoidable confusion, but it can't be helped. Takagi knows about this, but I'm not sure telling her supervisor was a good thing either. It's been some weeks since I've told her, but there hasn't been any change of my employee's behavior when they see me.

The said meeting involves all of the supervisors, and a few plain-clothes people that I assume are shareholders. We are seated in such a way that the staff/visitor passes could not be seen clearly while seated. In past years, I am usually one of the last to enter the meeting room, so being in there early and everyone not knowing who I am does give me an idea of what people may be trying to hide. So far, nothing in particular to note, but some people were glancing at me.

The meeting started. They talked about peculiar things that happened since the last meeting, maintaining standards, and the company's finances.

05 August 2011

Teary Promise (Part 7)

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Waking up the following morning, it seems that yesterday was just a bad dream. Brother was the first person I saw when I left the room. I thought I had a nightmare of him being turned into a girl, and a very strong earthquake and tsunami happened.

Brother: "Oh, you're awake. I completely forgotten about it when I came back, but here's the thing I collected yesterday."

He brought me to his room and opened his school bag that was on the floor. He took out what seemed like video game casings with American and European gaming rating symbol on it instead of the local ones. He also took out some products that looked as if it were to be sold in many different countries, except Japan. Is this unnecessary spending?

Me: "How did you order these things?

01 August 2011

My Photo (3)

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Junction of Salisbury Road (梳士巴利道) and Nathan Road (彌敦道)

31 July 2011

Teary Promise (Part 6)

(Edited: 10 September 2012)

It's the second Friday of the month where my brother had claimed to collect something at his other place in Mizuho. Although it's late in the morning, my brother doesn't look like he even plans to go out at all. By this time, our parents had already headed out to work.

Me: "You said that your delivery of something to there is today?"

There is very little time if he heads out now, and he has yet to bathe today.

Brother: "Oh, they said it will arrive about 1:30pm, so I would still be early even if I head there now... Say, where are you headed?"

Isn't that not much of a time difference? You have to be there already when the delivery arrives or you would have to reschedule or the product be sent back.

Me: "I'm heading to the neighbouring harbour town to buy some seafood."

Brother: "You mean heading to your favourite crying spot close to there, don't you? You have something to cry about there? Maybe a crying competition?"

27 July 2011

Teary Promise (Part 5)

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Me: "So, was the chocolate good?"

This was after valentine's day. I made it myself with the chocolate that mum gave me that had some kind of biscuit in that's crunchy. Of course, I had tried some myself to make sure it doesn't taste awful.

Takuya: "That chocolate was so great that it sent me to heaven! I will give you something better on White Day. Just wait."

I sensed that he couldn't think of what it would be without spending a lot of money or going through a lot of trouble to get it. Maybe he doesn't even know what it would be.

Me: "I'm fine with anything really. It doesn't need to be expensive or something."

I said that because I knew boys would tend to overdo things when it comes to impressing girls.

26 July 2011

Legacy URL

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If you were to look at the URL of this blog, you would find that the odd name of 'the1iam' being used here. You might be wondering why that is being used, or why takhsiru.blogspot.com points to my anime blog instead of here, or the current @THE1IAM user on twitter is someone else.

Well, it dates back to when I created this blog in 2006 and that name was chosen simply I couldn't think of a creative original name. In fact, 'the1iam' was the name I used when I first signed up for twitter. Long time followers of me there would also notice that I used 'asuna888' between that and now. Unlike quitting, changing the username also means that the former username is available to others. This means that my former usernames has been snatched up by other people on twitter: 'the1iam' by an African man, and 'asuna888' by (fortunately) my sister. I had used 'takhsiru' since 2010.

21 July 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 74)

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Since the day we rescued Takagi's friend, nothing significant happened. I guess that is what I wanted after a long time of something exhausting that doesn't happen everyday. There's still no news of Takagi's friend so far, and the status is still unknown. This would likely mean that he had made a major decision to change himself and taking time to get used to it. Still, not knowing what he's doing now is making me anxious.

My 8th (yes, eighth!) annual high school summer vacation is almost over, and Kotomi should be back any time soon unless she wants to hang out with her university friends for a graduation trip or something. Shouldn't I have graduated from college by now? Why on earth am I repeating my entire high school education for the second time when my academic performance is more than enough to do well in colleges of a similar level that Kotomi went into? Moreover, why am I also a very important person to a particular large company that didn't exist just 4 years ago just because my existence from an another dimension was forced into here? I didn't found this company, an another me from there did, but I'm in a copy of her body.

Female voice: "Really?! Does that mean that moving my whole family to a town northwest of here and me working here was because the company I'm working for existed out of the blue? Including the people working for it? I could have sworn that I was working for it earlier than that. More importantly, if you're our big boss, why do you look as young as my children? And, now that I know that you are that mysterious girl running around all over the company, why are you always wearing nothing but the same school uniform these days?"

Uh oh. It looks like she could either read my mind or I had unknowingly said out my thoughts.

12 July 2011

Teary Promise (Part 4)

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Since the day I asked for Takuya's email address, we have been keeping in contact with each other more often than before. Every morning, we would meet up with each other on the train and talk about things. He too isn't in any club, but he helps with his family at a bakery store just below his house. He told me that it's facing the shore of the vast ocean, so the air and scenery there are both quite nice to be at. I went there for the first time just after Halloween and it looks like it could look nicer in the Summer, though my favourite spot closer to my house has almost nobody there and the nearest building is quite a distance away, but there are trees and caves nearby for shelter. I haven't been there much lately.

As time passed, the less frequent meeting with my brother didn't seem to bother me much, to the extent that I forgot I even had an older brother. I had come to realization that my body had already become fully matured and somewhat become like my mother that it's kind of scary. I never wanted to become an adult, but my body seems to have become like one. It's like the stage of being a child was just like a deflated ball, and the stage of puberty is like inflating that ball. Well, that's how I would describe it. Just looking at the length of my own arms and legs is a reminder of that.

05 July 2011

A student card I had in mind

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While watching Kami-sama no Memo-chou, I came across this image. This seems pretty close to what I had in mind for the student card as mentioned in the stories I write on this blog (that very lengthy image-less posts I publish on this blog these days).

Next post I am likely to put up here is part 4 of "Teary Promise" (6th Story). I've only written the first paragraph as of the time of this post. My increasingly busy schedule might have it out late and shorter.

04 July 2011

Teary Promise (Part 3)

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Back during our kindergarten and primary school days, me and my brother were very much alike that even our parents couldn't tell us apart. As that school did not have a uniform or use those standard bags (black for boys, red for girls), it was even easier to be alike. The visible difference ended when we had to wear gender-specific clothing as part of the middle school uniform and, as a result of that, I stopped caring about keeping my hair to look the same as my brother because our gender differences had started to become obvious anyway. Since my family moved to another city far away during my transition from primary to middle school, none of my primary school friends came along, but we still keep in contact. Those who thought I was a boy or mistake me for my brother thought I was crossdressing when they saw a picture of me in my middle school uniform because I was obviously wearing a girl's uniform. It wasn't easy to convince them that I'm really a girl without my brother until my bust became more noticeable. Now, I definitely look more like a young woman and bear no resemblance with my brother except for a few things we have in common inherited from our parents.

Even as I reached puberty, I was starting to become scared of how visibly different my own body had developed. I didn't realize that my own natural behaviour has changed too.

29 June 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 38)

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I'm running low on options of who to ask on getting to Mizuho: I could ask my husband, but he might tell Saeko, who isn't supposed to know. Neither could I ask my family or other Hatsuya staff, who are sadly the only other group I know well... Oh wait. That store where I bought my Katsura High uniform might know where: they make uniforms of many kinds. The karaoke box just opposite it was also where I spent my last days as a middle school student with my friends from there, so I know where it is.

Me: "Excuse me. Do you have any uniforms for Mizuho Girls Academy?"

The store attendant looked though a list, thought for a while, and asked someone I couldn't see inside the staff area.

Store attendant: "I'm sorry to say this, but we don't sell any here.

27 June 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 73)

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We both changed into the outfits provided to us, in separate toilets of course. I was too deep in thought about the Kotomi future of my time talking into my head. That I didn't realize that I had already changed with Itsuki talking to me.

Itsuki: "Wow, it does make you look like a respectable person just from the appearance alone, even more than mine. I've never seen you wear something like that before."

Being someone important to the Powell Research company, this is not the first time I've worn something that would have people to look up to me with respect. Personally, I don't feel comfortable if people treat me at a level of respect that is anything other than as equals.

22 June 2011

Teary Promise (Part 2)

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So here's the daily schedule on a normal school day: have breakfast, head to the train station, and take it to somewhere south-west in an another town 1-2 hours away. There is also the chance of meeting up with friends and classmates.

Even though there are several high school in the same town as where my current house is, they seem to be like a place full of students staying in this town and the neighbouring harbour town. The school rules seems so relaxed as compared to those of elsewhere that it's quite obvious in their "fashion" to the point it made both me and my brother uneasy and the question of how serious the students of the school are in studying. My brother's friends from the middle school before transferring to another have forewarned us about this. As the middle and high schools around here uses only the gakuran (for boys) or sailor uniform (for girls) as part of their uniform, anyone in town who is seen wearing any other kinds (like mine) would be quite obvious. It's also a clear sign that they are either visitors or one of the few townspeople who attends school elsewhere.

17 June 2011

Teary Promise (Part 1)

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There's something special about the seashore that's facing the Taihei Ocean that me, and some of my extended family members used to go to back when I was in elementary school between 2000 and 2006. Since middle school, I've been heading there by myself, even during the cold winter, for a relaxing time. The beach itself being a big wide open and remote area with nothing but sand and, in the horizon, nothing but the big wide ocean and no islands visible. Looking towards the nothingness for as far as I can see and with the refreshing wind and smell makes me want to seek out what is out there.

Not far from that beach along the coast, though far enough if you walk, is a town with a harbour where fishermen deliver seafood they caught out in the sea. They are quite humble in a sense that they enjoy it and not worried about competition. They have talked to me before, and they're quite nice.

14 June 2011

540th post - Twitter Bio

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Lately, I've noticed that most profiles on twitter roughly say the same things in their bio, that longest chunk of text next to the profile image. Some of these common elements they put in commonly are:
  • interests
  • links (it's supposed to be in the homepage field)
  • text that would appear correctly only on an iOS device
  • journalists/companies that don't describe themselves from a personal point of view
  • people claiming to be "otaku" (among anime fans)
  • no text at all, not even an emoticon (ーー;)
I have to admit, I myself don't even look at my own profile. From what I saw at a glance, it would also fall into at least 2 of the points above. Question is, what should I write for its replacement?

13 June 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 72)

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Yuko: "There's 3 kinds of time traveling this machine has: First, allow us to explore what it's like there as if we are in that time, but doesn't allow interaction and not be seen. This is the most useful to view events that happened in the past where there are no known or surviving witnesses of an incident, and, more importantly, to ensure that the past is not altered. The second one is going there as ourselves in that time. Problem with this is that there's a chance that we may not retain our current memories, wouldn't know what happened during the time difference, and obviously can't go any earlier than one's birthday, or any latter than one's death, with the latter being the unknown and you yourself possibly having died too if you didn't go out of that time before it happened. You would also find yourself at a location and situation at the time you time traveled to, which can put you in an awkward position if you find yourself talking to someone you haven't met yet currently."

That's scary. I wouldn't want that.

08 June 2011

539th post

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Browsing through the numerous twitter accounts, I came across quite a number of people that self-proclaim as an "otaku". Looking at their description, I can't help but to notice that mainstream anime (eg. Bleach, Naruto) gets mentioned a lot. With services like Crunchyroll, this has been diluted as people are more exposed to a wider and more recent ones.

I've been cleaning up my room for the past few week, but progress is rather slow. This is not only because of the usual daily things, but not having the mood to do it or being distracted by something else.

From what I've cleaned up, I've accumulate about 5 bags (the kind you get from shopping at the supermarket) that has been filled full to the brim filled with things that I now realize are just trash that has accumulated over the years or things that don't work now. They each seem to have quite some weight. There were some things that had been thrown out, but cleaning up one area messes up an another, and there are some that I just don't know what to do with.

If you think that's not enough, you should see the junk that dad brings home from time to time and chucks it to some corner of the house only to be forgotten for a long time. By a long time, I mean years, and thick layers of dust. I don't know how I would do this by myself...

04 June 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 71)

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That gardener that I've frequently met randomly in Mizuho was the former principal of Katsura High School, which Itsuki and Kotomi attended.

Me: "So, do you think I should tell..."

Yuko: "No! He knows that I am a "supervisor" here as he does trim the plants around this building regularly, but I'm not sure if he knows that I'm the same person as one of his former students. He talked about Kotomi to you without mentioning her name. I'm surprised to learn that our director used his own family member to conduct experiments, and Kotomi having brainwashed since birth to behave as what they wanted and do things to her without herself not knowing anything about it, but I can't seem to figure out what that is. There could be a sub-conscious mind inside Kotomi that would notice that her own body and behavior is different than what it could have been. Having possibly lived as she is now since within a year from birth, her memories as a baby might not be accurate. We don't know who else might be present, but her parents might have a high likelihood of knowing something about it."

The irony here is that Yuko herself is making hand signals unrelated to what she's talking about while saying that: complaining about the uniform she's currently wearing, pointing to her seemingly larger bust, her stocking-covered legs, the gap between her lowest part of her skirt and an area a little above her knees. She also pointed to a random staff visible nearby. Her tone of voice doesn't seem to reflect the complaints about herself. She seem to be trying to signal to me on her dislike of what she's made to wear, but couldn't say verbally.

24 May 2011

Alternate Dimension (Part 70)

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Yuko had called me to her office as if there was something important to talk about that gardener and wanted to bring me away as if I would encounter something bad if I didn't.

Yuko: "There you are! I've some shocking news for you: That gardener you spoke to earlier was the high school principal of me and Kotomi. He looked like this and had visible health problems when I graduated."

Yuko pointed to an old man in a photograph, which doesn't look like the young female gardener I saw earlier.

Me: "Are you sure that's the same person?"

I'm trying very hard to not be distracted by Yuko's appearance: there's a noticeable change of the colour scheme since I last saw her here, and she seems to be wearing black stockings that covers her legs completely. I've also noticed that the staff working here has their uniforms changed, though different from Yuko, who is the supervisor but she claims that she isn't and there aren't any for this branch. She also holds the same rank as everyone else. She seems to not want to talk about her obvious unexpected new appearance that I have seen for the first time only right now.

I don't see how this academy produces the best people academically and athletically with absolutely no failures (in fact, most scored close to full grades) despite the high level of difficulty, increased sensitivity at the body's weak points, visual distractions and movement restrictions.

22 May 2011

My Photo (2)

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Taken at Mid-Levels in Hong Kong

08 May 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 37)

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I saw two different versions of a file that has been indicated to me: the highest quality that this old computer could play without problems (very low quality by today's standards), and the other in it's original definition that this computer is not capable of playing, but computers that are, at earliest, 10 years old, that are even capable of playing it smoothly. Not really wanting to bother transferring the higher quality video out, I chose the lower quality video. The date created/modified on the file can't be trusted. Some computers on which the year has not been set has years like 1970 or 2022, which is certainly not right, and if you create a file or save an edited one, that wrong year is reflected in it.

The video is not dated, but I could see era-specific things like mobile phone models and display screens. So, judging from those, it's probably, at earliest, at the turn of the current century: Just as I thought it's in a specific year, something newer than the year I though it's in appears in view.

There's a couple with what seems to be a newborn baby whom they both call Toshiko. The camera operator is not shown, but the voice sounded like that of a woman younger the one seen in the hospital bed. Honestly speaking, it looks like a random family video that an outsider would find uninteresting until I noticed something: the woman in the hospital bed has some resemblance to my old high school principal and she referred to someone in the direction of the camera as her dad. Is this video meant for him? But the younger female cameraman replied all the questions asked. As if a raw uncut footage where someone forgot to hit the pause button, the camera is pointed towards parts of one recording it, who is obviously a young woman in an office attire. I think she's just giving a cue of what the said father would say. I didn't see anything new until the video ended. Where's the clue saying about where that old man is?! Oh wait, there's a note I'm supposed to read after watching the video.

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中野区, 東京都, Japan
帰国子女 英語能力は堪能。趣味はアニメや漫画やプログラムコードを編集。通常、あたしの小説を英語で書いてです。Grew up abroad &travelled to different countries. I write my own fictional novel on my blog.