Haruka's Diary
Chasing After Rainbows: Disorientated Feelings (Part 37)

08 May 2011

Disorientated Feelings (Part 37)

I saw two different versions of a file that has been indicated to me: the highest quality that this old computer could play without problems (very low quality by today's standards), and the other in it's original definition that this computer is not capable of playing, but computers that are, at earliest, 10 years old, that are even capable of playing it smoothly. Not really wanting to bother transferring the higher quality video out, I chose the lower quality video. The date created/modified on the file can't be trusted. Some computers on which the year has not been set has years like 1970 or 2022, which is certainly not right, and if you create a file or save an edited one, that wrong year is reflected in it.

The video is not dated, but I could see era-specific things like mobile phone models and display screens. So, judging from those, it's probably, at earliest, at the turn of the current century: Just as I thought it's in a specific year, something newer than the year I though it's in appears in view.

There's a couple with what seems to be a newborn baby whom they both call Toshiko. The camera operator is not shown, but the voice sounded like that of a woman younger the one seen in the hospital bed. Honestly speaking, it looks like a random family video that an outsider would find uninteresting until I noticed something: the woman in the hospital bed has some resemblance to my old high school principal and she referred to someone in the direction of the camera as her dad. Is this video meant for him? But the younger female cameraman replied all the questions asked. As if a raw uncut footage where someone forgot to hit the pause button, the camera is pointed towards parts of one recording it, who is obviously a young woman in an office attire. I think she's just giving a cue of what the said father would say. I didn't see anything new until the video ended. Where's the clue saying about where that old man is?! Oh wait, there's a note I'm supposed to read after watching the video.

That video you watched is of my daughter and son-in-law with my granddaughter who has just been born back then. She's about 14 by the time you're reading this, which looks something like the image in the next file. Whether quality level of the video you had watched, you aren't going to see anything new if you watched the other or look out for the small detail in the higher quality version that are blurred in the other. The uniform of the woman that is briefly seen having the camera pointed at herself in this video is a dead giveaway as to where I am now, but not so if you don't know what that uniform is of. Some of the people you already know of might recognize it though. My daughter and her husband are busy with work, so they sent my granddaughter to where I work every time until she's old enough, though Toshiko does visit me on her own from time to time.

That uniform is a clue to where he is now? It's not even clear what I was looking at because it's only promptly shown, there was no logo on it, and I don't know who and how to ask about this. The image file mentioned is of the said granddaughter around the age mentioned she is of now, but this image looks strangely old. What's even stranger is that there are only 3 identical candles on the cake, suggesting that she was only 3 when it was taken, but she looks several times older than that. Is this related?

Oh wait, what do the uniforms of Mizuho look like? I only know of the ones Itsuki and Saeko wear since I graduated from college, and the older conservative-like design. Let's see...

What I saw made me at a loss of words: there are so many versions that I'm not sure, but it is grouped according to type like supervisor, student, worker, and visitor, with sub divisions for students of other schools and staff of companies outside Mizuho that has a branch inside forming the majority of the multiple versions. Except guests and summer student uniforms, the design for all versions seems formal, but is a huge makeover when compared to the older conservative-like design. What I thought my husband was wearing the office uniform actually turns out to be the supervisor ones, which reminds me of the staff who work in stores that specializes in selling high-class products or in a law firm.

I knew that is something odd about that principal saying about being a new self and living forever. Somehow, some of the technology used on Saeko has been applied to the Mizuho uniform, but where does the part about turning males into females right down to their DNA with just a piece of clothing come from? And, is the very company I've worked for since middle school behind it? If so, I don't think I can ask anyone there about my past that the principal has been wanting to reveal to me, but how and where? I don't even know if I'm being monitored remotely, or if someone else knows that I am wanting to know about my history.

My whole life has been differed from it's original course before I even knew anything. Nobody knows what that original course was, I knew that there are things about me that others find normal that doesn't feel right to me. I don't think I'm supposed to be as smart as I was, because my body moved by itself that made me seem so right to the tiny detail that I thought I was actually doing it until I noticed that I'm not absorbing what I was studying, but could somehow answer them better than anyone else. I never wanted to fall in love with Itsuki or marry him, but my body is so attracted to him that it can make my mind go crazy if I don't see him frequently. This makes me wanting to love someone else, or divorcing Itsuki, impossible. Having him around me is the only way to keep me mentally sane, as proven during my college days. It's as if my body has a mind of its own separate from mine.

How do I go about contacting the principal? I don't know how to explain this situation to Itsuki or Saeko while explaining. Are there any newer files that old man wanted to tell me?
I've had several random encounter with Saeko in Mizuho, but she seem to not recognize the name of Katsura High for some reason. If you want to meet me you can ask anyone, but you must absolutely not ask your parents or anyone who works for Hatsuya. The only exception to this are your husband and those under your supervision at the branch you work at and make sure Saeko doesn't know about it, even through Itsuki, as people could watch what she encounters. In the video you saw earlier, I was behind the camera. Should you want to meet me, I would be at a garden near the schools during office hours, or my apartment at other times.
That wasn't a really helpful hint, but at least I know who I shouldn't ask. As for the said video, the camera operator is clearly a female because the camera was pointed towards her body with an obvious feminine voice. However, that woman there in the hospital bed kept talking to her dad in the direction of the camera, but heard a female voice as a reply. It suggests that it's highly likely that the lady that's briefly shown was my high school principal. I know it sounds strange, but it's made with the same material as that for where my husband works.

I haven't thought of the questions to ask or know how to get to Mizuho, so I won't be meeting the principal right away.

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中野区, 東京都, Japan
帰国子女 英語能力は堪能。趣味はアニメや漫画やプログラムコードを編集。通常、あたしの小説を英語で書いてです。Grew up abroad &travelled to different countries. I write my own fictional novel on my blog.