Haruka's Diary
Chasing After Rainbows: Disorientated Feelings (Part 31)

25 July 2010

Disorientated Feelings (Part 31)

The unknown girl left hurriedly, but what shocked me the most was that she entered my house right in front of me.

Me: "Hey wait! You trespasser! That's my house you know!"

I caught strange girl by the hips. It wasn't hard as her reaction time was slow on top of me being stronger (from all that carrying at work) too. All of the girls from Mizuho seem to strangely have identical physical traits that makes them all appear identical unless you look closely. Saeko, seemed to have continued on to my parent's house with my children but not without making a face at the girl like they both know each other quite well. Saeko probably did not want my children to be involved in the argument.

Me: "Now, what dark magic did you use to make my children call you their father? I'm the mother and I have never seen you before."

The girl gave up struggling and sighed.

Mizuho girl: "Kotomi-chan. I didn't want you to see me like this after what you went through during high school, so I avoided letting you see me like this, but Saeko-chan and our children had already known about it for quite a while now. You know, that Saeko you were tagging along during most of your high school days and the person you saw at the airport when you came back from America instead of who you were expecting."

"Our" children? What are you talking about? It's impossible for two people of the same gender to have children together. On top of that, how did you even know my name? Nobody mentioned it earlier.

Me: "Wait! Just who are you?"

I held her tighter: she's starting to creep me out. I don't know her, but knows too much of me and my family.

Mizuho girl: "I'm your husband, Itsuki! I have to become like this while inside Mizuho grounds."

My only answer to this was a speechless expression. It's true that Hatsuya Institute does have branches at some places of education, but the list it's on is mixed with other branches that I might have overlooked that. Except what she just said and do, there's nothing to tell me that she's my husband. Her body is very much female and shorter to even be my husband cross-dressing. Please don't tell of you would become Saeko no.2: you know how mentally unstable I can become if I don't see your usual male self after a while. It's a sad curse I have to live with since I was born that's only triggered when you fell on top of me when we first met.

Mizuho girl: "My body becomes like this when I wear the Mizuho uniform. But to turn back, I have to do it at a gender-neutral place with nobody around or waiting for me, which means that it won't happen if you were to wait for me. Let's take a photo and use it as prove that it was me."

After taking a picture of me, she allowed me to look at the contents of the phone, but it contains some random junk that a high school girl would put on her blog and amateur shots. There were some unknown people posing at the camera inside what seems to be a person's house and what appears to be inside Mizuho academy. All of the images are undated, but a small group of images has people wearing the older version of the Mizuho uniform suggests that those were taken in 2009 or earlier. Pictures that had reflection in the direction of who might have taken the photo seem to lack any visible image capturing device that might have taken the photo.

Me: "Who are these people?!"

There was nothing in it to even have a hint that she is my husband, not even in the contact lists.

Mizuho girl: "Well, these are of my friends and... er... like how I'm avoiding you with me like this, I don't have much info relating to my real self on this thing. Think of it as switching user modes on computer operating systems since the beginning of the current century: what you can access or what you are denied of depends on who is using it. Okay, look. I'm going to start uninterrupted recording from now until the next we meet. I'm sure there's nobody left in the house now."

I was thinking that the set of keys might be stolen or duplicated because of the keychain attached to it seemed the type that only high school girls would have. The tone of uncertainty when I asked her make me more suspicious.

Mizuho girl: "Okay, go on to your parent's house and don't think about waiting for me. Go on."

I left without saying anything more to that girl. She tries to pretend to be my husband, but she very obviously doesn't sound and look like one, and neither is there any thing relating to him among her stuff. She's at it for so long that even my children call her as such, who probably didn't know anything back then and would believe anything that people would tell them.

*****

You might be wondering why we are not taking the car to my parent's place. The reason is simple: there isn't any space there to park cars at my parent's house and the cost to park the car there during that duration is higher than just taking the train and back, not to mention the cost of fuel used in the trip. I did not meet Saeko or my children along the way, which suggests that they might have made some diversion to the shopping street along the way, or they had already reached there.

It was just outside the train station when I was spotted by Kuniko, and some guy around her age that I have now only now seen for the second time, but this is the first time he's seeing me. Kuniko only introduced him to me as her boyfriend, but with no mention of his name. My sister is in her second year of high school. There's a 12-year gap between our ages that, if others were to look at us, wouldn't even think that we are siblings. I'm the oldest and Kuniko is the youngest in the family of 5 children. The question of my parent's wedding date being later than the day I was born is a mystery to me. Oh, did I not mention what year it is since I've arrived back from university studies? It's the year 2018 now, and I got married in early 2011. In the latter part of that year was when my first child was born from right inside me. I never wanted to go along with Itsuki since we first met, but there was something he did when we were both in the same school that forced my body to forever be attached to him. I tried to fall in love with someone else back in university, but my own brain is preventing that from happening by making me not feeling interested and forcing me to see images of Itsuki very frequently. My mind functions independently from my body, but my mind can't work without it.

Kuniko: "Ah! Kotomi onee-chan! Over here!"

And I don't quite like being the eldest child in the family too. I even have to endure more things with a lot of unknowns that most of my siblings never or hardly experienced.

Kuniko: "Ha... Ha.... Oh? Where's your children and husband? You seem to be by yourself."

The guy with Kuniko seem to have some kind of quiet reaction that my sister didn't notice on the mention that I had children.

Me: "Saeko and my children had went ahead of me because of some random person we met along the way trying to enter our house right in front of me, and my husband said he would come straight from work. So much for going as a family."

That guy called my sister's attention away from me and to him. His whispering was still loud enough for me to hear the conversion.

Kuniko's boyfriend: "Do you know who that woman is? She seemed like a serious businesswoman that doesn't like to be disturbed unnecessarily by random people like us."

[Author's note: お姉ちゃん can be used to address young female adults or one's own elder sister]

It only when he said that that I realized that I had not changed out of my office attire while picking up my children from home, though I don't really stand out as it the time of the day where people working in the capital area are now just arriving to head home.

Kuniko: "Don't worry, she's my eldest sister who is 12 years older than me. Her age gap at first made me think that she's my second mother when I was a baby because she not much older than my parents and her behavior is quite mature from my other siblings. She got married around before I entered middle school."

Another reason why I don't like being the eldest child: you see your own siblings entering a stage of their lives that had happened to me years ago. If my calculation with my parent's birthdays are correct, they were probably only 17 or 18 (Kuniko's current age) at that time. Also, my memory of Kuniko is when she was around 9 or younger, and to see her as an 17-year old version after a long time is still a shock to me.

Kuniko's boyfriend: "Your older sister?!"

Me: "I can hear you two quite clearly. And yes, I do have a high-level job position at Hatsuya Institute and Kuniko here is my youngest sister."

Kuniko's boyfriend: "N-Nice to meet you! I-I'm Honda Daisuke (本田大介). I'll will be taking good care of your younger sister."

Kuniko: "Oh, come on. We're not there yet. Anyway, Kousei-oniichan is at uncle's place treating some weird symptom I've never seen before. Hope it's nothing serious..."

Kousei is just 4 years older than Kuniko. His behavior seem rather strange and even likes girl's stuff and is often bullied by Shin'ichi, my oldest younger brother, to become more manly. Not even me and my younger sisters has as much girlish things as him. Shin'ichi is at the opposite end who is very manly, strong, active in sports.

Previously, dad used to ignore me, Kousei, and Kuniko for reasons unknown, but not Shin'ichi or Izumi. Although he has opened up since the birth of my children, the scar of him ignoring me still lingers. He's ignored the three of us like some mutated beings that he doesn't want to look at and pretends that he only has two children. Seriously, what did we do to deserve this treatment?

Younger child: "Mommy, is daddy coming?"

Me: "He will be here soon, I promise."

Only that I don't know when it would be. When I was younger, I was expecting a parent to know what the other parent knows. Also, that Mizuho student wasn't the first female that my children thought was their father, Saeko here with me was the first one as she, until 16-years of age, share the same experience as my husband like the two are the same person until her mind was separated and was forced to enter her current body and her life has been a mess since then. Because her aura, behavior, and body's structure (including fingerprints, but not gender-related properties) all being almost exactly similar to that of my husband, it's quite easy for her to deceive my children if my husband is not around.

My husband did not arrive until just before dinner started, but talking about that Mizuho girl over the dinner table with everyone around is a rather inappropriate occasion, and neither is it afterwards with someone in every room and children running around. Due to space constrains, Kuniko has moved into my room. Previously, she keeps changing places between the living room, Kousei or Izumi's room, or my parent's room.

Itsuki: "Well, I don't think people would disturb us if we sit here even if the room itself has people. Anyways, sorry about what happened just now. Something complicated came up at the last minute."

Without saying anything else, he played a video. I saw myself with a being creeped out look near the house turning around and walking away in the evening light. From time to time, the camera was pointed downwards and the holder's shadow, high heeled shoes, and skirt visible. The shadow also revealed that the recorder's hairstyle and device was the same as the Mizuho girl I encountered earlier. The footage continued on until the master bedroom where the device was placed on a surface, facing the wall, but it did show that there was no one else in the house before that. It remained that way for a few minutes before it was picked up again. The footage continued on, but was pointed downwards at crowded areas and back up later on. The footage continued on until I saw myself again right before my husband showed me the video. My husband was that Mizuho girl I saw earlier?

Me: "Wait. What?"

I'm speechless.

Itsuki: "I recorded this since the start and had to face the camera away or I wouldn't be able to turn back. Saeko and our children had seen me like that for quite some time now."

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(Last edited on 27 July 2010)

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帰国子女 英語能力は堪能。趣味はアニメや漫画やプログラムコードを編集。通常、あたしの小説を英語で書いてです。Grew up abroad &travelled to different countries. I write my own fictional novel on my blog.