Disorientated Feelings (Part 47)

Author's note: This chronologically happens after "Alternate Dimension (Part 84)"

Ever since I found out what the genders of my first two children were, I could finally be able to see their faces and hear their voices. My first child, whom I've always thought was a boy, is a girl. Likewise, I thought my second child was a girl, but is actually a boy. Previously, they seemed like a fuzzy presence with a fused aura of me and Itsuki before, and I couldn't hear their voices, but somehow understood what they were saying that seemed like they were talking to my mind.

Sadly, I have now only just realized the damage that I had done from treating those two children as the gender opposite of what they really are: my daughter (first child) seemed aloof and morose towards me. The things I gave her that she didn't like were given away to someone else after accepting it from me. No wonder Saeko asked me to stop buying gender-specific things for her, because I always gave her stuff for boys.

However, even more damaging is to my son (second child), who openly dresses like a girl with the female things I gave him, including his school uniform, from the time when I still thought that he's a girl. No one in the family corrected this behavior: all of my other children are girls, my husband crossdresses most of the time, and Saeko has some physical restrictions that prevented her from being able to fix it even though she knows what to do. At the age he is now, nobody, not even me, could change this behavior. I could have been able to fix this problem if only I knew about it before it was too late to change it. An example would be like preventing my kids from inheriting my "abnormal" genes by not even getting pregnant, except that I didn't even know I had such a thing until I already had four children. No thanks to Hatsuya, my uncle especially, for that part. The irony...

So, you might be wondering why nobody questions about my son's behavior? Well, due to some phenomenon the males are now "like weaklings", and anyone (both men and women) who could had corrected this had been turned into teenage girls that don't remember much from their former selves. The school my son attends has rules on how the male and female uniforms should be worn, but it's written in a way that anyone of any gender could wear either one: This means that nobody at his school is stopping him from wearing the female uniform as, according to the school rules, it is allowed. What's even stranger? He's not the only one doing this. Hard to say how many as some of them really look like girls.

Sometimes, I question about the level of my own sanity.


Ever since the parent-teacher meeting with my first child in primary school, we found out that she inherited all of my memories to the point that she already knows a lot of what is taught in primary school, as evident from her scoring full marks. To see what level is suitable for her, she took exams for various grades and schools in increasing difficulty. Of course, looking at the amount of tests this would mean, this has to be narrowed down.

From the results of the tests she has taken, she is capable of skipping straight to college, but she chose to skip to grade 5 instead: she has a tough time choosing between skipping through grades, but be too young to enter the workforce (be only at the age of 10 on graduating from college if entered right after grade 1), and making friends. It's hard to make friends when the age gap when everyone around you is a lot older, and it's harder to make friends with an adult without them backstabbing you at some point unless you befriended them before college-level.

My son, too, inherits my memories, though a bit more than his older sister. However, his behavior (which I've talked about earlier) means that he's very scared when people talk to him specifically or do anything that involves interacting with people, including paying at the cashier. That means he doesn't really have any close friends. Somewhat following his older sister's footsteps, he also wants to skip primary school too. Without friends that would hinder his progress, he could actually skip to grades that are ahead of his sister. However, he doesn't know which school to go to that would suit him, and he seems self-aware about his own timid behavior. The only school I know from home that is suitable for him is...

No, it can't be what I think it is, right?


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