Haruka's Diary
Chasing After Rainbows: Disorientated Feelings (Part 45)

06 February 2012

Disorientated Feelings (Part 45)

(Author's note: Mentioned in "Alternate Dimension Part 82" are 4 children in the family. Only the second eldest child is a boy, while the rest are girls. This part is describing the eldest daughter, 1st child, about how good she is that she could do exams that are above her current grade quite well. From the mother's point of view of course.)

Me: "My what?"

Seems that my own ears is preventing me from hearing a particular word of what the teacher said. It only happens when a gender-specific term about my first two children, whose gender even I don't know, is being talked about or shown. Don't know why myself, and neither can I do anything about it. I can't ask someone to help cure something only me in the whole world experiences and there isn't any medical evidence that proves that I'm suffering from it except suggestions that I may be mentally unstable, which I'm not. It's a mystery as to what caused it, as I could see my two youngest daughters perfectly normal at the same time. Although the reason why I could see them is because my husband gave birth to them, not me.

I'm now speaking to one of the primary school teachers of my first child now with Itsuki for a parent-teacher meeting. The child in question is supposedly here with me. Saeko and the others are not with us.

Teacher: "Your-"

The audio seemed to have been cut off temporarily as the teacher seem to be continuing on talking. Itsuki kept pointing to an empty chair near nearby while looking at me. I seem to have difficulty looking at for some reason. It's as if there is like a spirit over there, but the aura being that of my child. I know I sounded like I was talking about a ghost, but that's the only way I could sense their presence. I feel bad for ignoring them, but I really can't see them as my body doesn't want my mind to know their gender, which, at their current ages, the gender differences is becoming bigger.

Teacher: "It would be great if your... (silence) ...attends a specialised school or skip some grades. If some time later that your child proves that they are better than the grade the child would have skipped to, your child could enter middle school already despite the child's age. For social reasons, I would usually say not to do this, but your (silence) seems to have the ability to study at higher levels and might not get along well with people who aren't at the same knowledge level as your child."

In my mind, I have always been thinking that the first child is a boy and, the second, a girl. Whether someone has been trying to correct me on this, I could simply be unaware of it as my body doesn't want me to know about it.

Me: "Well, it's better to be adored by older people of the same level than being bullied by people of the same age for being too smart. I don't know... It seems like a big decision to make."

This is a clear sign that my child has inherited knowledge from me. I knew something was odd when the child was oddly well behaved as an infant and, according to Saeko, they never ever cried for me or my husband when we are away for a long time.

When Hatsuya modified my body as a baby, were they aware that they were modifying the behaviour of my future children too? I think so: they can't change the way I think, but, being a female, they can modify my reproductive organs in a way that the children I produce would think the way they wanted. I don't know if the two daughters my husband gave birth to has the same thing.

I just want to have a normal life without all of this abnormalities, but my life has been abnormal since Hatsuya turned me into a girl from a boy, which wouldn't have happened if my mother didn't give birth to me during her high school days.

Actually, I don't know if I'm happier to be living as a girl as I didn't know I was born a boy until after my first child was born. Nothing except the alternating patterns of my sibling's genders, and my body doing things on its own when I don't know what to do at times, gave me any hint. I thought that last one was normal since it has been happening for as long I could remember, but now I know that my body is being controlled out of my own will. Ever since Hatsuya became aware that I knew about it, they stopped doing it. I don't know how different my life could have been.

Speaking of my family having more females than males, here's something potentially worrying: compared with last year, this year's census showed that the population of males has decreased and, at the same time, the population of females has increased to making up to slightly more than half. You would simply think that more girls are being born by just hearing that, but if you look closely at the figures, you would notice that the amount of the sudden increase of the number of females between 12 and 25 is exactly the same as the number of the sudden decrease of males above 40 and women above 80. Being an ageing population where there are more old people than the young, this change is quite noticeable. No changes in population figures were reported outside the affected age groups. The people in the affected age group, but remained unchanged, are mostly married couples living together and have children.

In other words, elderly people and middle-aged men were replaced by teenage girls over the past year. Nobody was able to explain the sudden change of population. The government suspected that the affected people became teenage girls, but there's a huge problem: while interviewing the first school they know that had a large jump of non first year female students, none of the girls could remember of ever being a middle-aged man or an elderly woman last year, and in fact had strong evidence that they are girls long before the dramatic population change. After going to various places that have these people, they all seemed to have the same thing being repeated, and eventually gave up. Nobody knew who were the people that suddenly vanished, nobody knew why this is happening, and even the teenagers themselves don't even know who appeared out of the blue, or even know if they themselves were one of them. Obviously, the numbers don't match, but it is impossible to find out who exactly. I asked Saeko on her opinion about this.

Saeko: "You're right. The number of aged people had disappeared suddenly, which seems to have been replaced by young ladies. Everyone is able to remember that there were more men than women, but for these old people who had became a young women with no memories of who they previously were, complete with evidence that they had always been a girl, is interesting. Separating them from those who were actually girls before it happened is impossible. Somebody turned them into young girls, brainwashes them into thinking that they had always been that way, along with anyone and anything into making it look like they were actually born one and be a daughter of somebody. If that were to happen to me, I would actually be thinking that I am someone else and be scared if someone were to suddenly said that I was an old man just yesterday as I have no memories of being an old man and the only memories I have are ( seemingly real) memories of growing up as a girl since birth. Of course the groups of people I know could be completely different from before, and their memories are modified too to keep in sync with the changes to me so that I don't notice anything odd with myself. They are so heavily physically modified and mentally brainwashed, with nothing left of their former selves, that it's impossible to turn them back. Even if we have a clear idea of who or what to turn them back to, they wouldn't be willing to because we are turning them into someone different and older from what they think they always had been. Also on our end, we don't have any technology that could change a person's age or gender except turning people of any age and gender into young girls, which is kind of useless as they are already young girls. Even that machine can't change a person's memory or how they think."
 
Saeko thought quite hard for a while on what to say next. The sudden increase of teenage girls means that places that had empty seats and empty classrooms were suddenly full, along with more young women, who also appeared out of nowhere, to meet the changes. An example is the increase of young female teachers in that period. Some boys appear to have been mixed around so that you can't tell which were the girls that suddenly appeared, though this also means that the number of girls in each class is now more than the number of boys as there was no change of the number of boys. Existing girls from before the mysterious population imbalance? Well, they are likely to have remain unchanged like the teenage boys, except that you can't tell the difference with them and the girls those who appeared suddenly.

Saeko: "I suspect that a lot of things were changed, not just the people. This is so that they would fit in perfectly. So perfect that I have no idea who they were or if our own family has one of these people like other families. Even the people affected don't even know they were one themselves. I'm afraid that even I don't know how or why it happened, or who is behind it, or if it would happen again. At this point, I don't know how to turn them back at such massive scale. Since they think they are someone else now, having them to turn back even if we found out who they were is like forcing them against their will and we can't revert the changes that were made to this world that had them to be able to blend in as it's quite complex to figure out with possibilities that may contain missing elements. I would need to check with the time viewer, but in situations like this, it's possible that the past has also been changed, though that theory conflicts with how the government still has the old population data. People were also aware that there were more men than women last year, with noticeable amount of the elderly population."

Saeko appeared to have some idea, but didn't say anything. Probably not wanting to make acquisitions without the evidence. If you ask me, I'm aware of something similar by Hatsuya Research and Mizuho Academy, but not on a massive scale as this, not leaving exceptions behind, have the change go unnoticed until someone conducts a census, and ensuring that the world doesn't go into a chaos at the same time. One person is complex enough, but fixing everyone is an impossible task, especially when there are so many unknowns. Except for boys' schools, schools that had been established for less than a year or two suddenly had second and third years making up of only females. In co-ed schools, now having its student population to have more females than males, more classrooms were created if they had the space for it, and boys were shuffled around in a way that each class has the same number of boys. That meant that you are likely to see more girls than boys as the amount of boys per class is now only about 22%, compared to 66% before.

Well, the decline of the male gender isn't really that worrying as males can make multiple women pregnant at the same time to make up for it. The only worry is if the opposite were to happen as it would put too much pressure on the woman as they, which would be the minority, are the only ones who could create a child. If the male gender were to have disappeared, and the human race being made up of only females, this could be a big question mark as everyone can create their own child, but have nothing to start the process.

For these two extremes, Hatsuya had developed ways to solve this: turning men into women capable of becoming pregnant, and woman being able to become pregnant without involving males with stem cells form anyone, including themselves. I though the people behind it were crazy at first as they had used me as their first human subject, but it now seems to become something that helps prevents the extinction of the human race. The problem is that they are unable to change how a person thinks, can't successfully turn females into males, and the chances of a child being born a male via the stem cell method would be 0%.

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中野区, 東京都, Japan
帰国子女 英語能力は堪能。趣味はアニメや漫画やプログラムコードを編集。通常、あたしの小説を英語で書いてです。Grew up abroad &travelled to different countries. I write my own fictional novel on my blog.