Chasing After Rainbows

Even though I have been out of the house longer than I had been since last year, I've notice that my family's utility bill has been increasing. I can't be the culprit as I always unplug after use. On closer inspection, it's hard not to see why: LCD TV and the audio system is in standby overnight instead of being unplugged. The TV is apparently turned on only in evenings too. The power "bricks" of already-removed appliances at hard-to-reach-places are still plugged in even though the other end has already been removed for some months now The router has never been switched off since it was installed almost a year ago. Wonder how much power it consumes over the older one? Parents always switch on the air conditioner at night during summer, before they go to sleep (A major source?) and wearing jackets. Sometimes, I find that the fan or radio in the kitchen are left running when the place is obviously not in use Desktop PC in the living room is left idle, not

This happened on my first day back in class after I was mentally tortured by my own other self. It could have been worse if the higher-ups had chosen me instead of him. Itsuki had that unhappy look when I was there and that "testing" continued on even after I left. I wonder what's going on? Female classmate:  "Hisakawa-san? What happened to you? You were away for quite a few days. You looked just fine just barely half an hour before you collapsed from the fever."

The unknown girl left hurriedly, but what shocked me the most was that she entered my house right in front of me. Me: "Hey wait! You trespasser! That's my house you know!" I caught strange girl by the hips. It wasn't hard as her reaction time was slow on top of me being stronger (from all that carrying at work) too. All of the girls from Mizuho seem to strangely have identical physical traits that makes them all appear identical unless you look closely. Saeko, seemed to have continued on to my parent's house with my children but not without making a face at the girl like they both know each other quite well. Saeko probably did not want my children to be involved in the argument. Me:  "Now, what dark magic did you use to make my children call you their father? I'm the mother and I have never seen you before." The girl gave up struggling and sighed.

The sound of shop shutters being closed at night. That was the earliest clear memory I had. I remember that the place was the shops next to the train station and was being carried by my mother. This sound was the loudest I have ever heard back then that it made me cry. As to when exactly that was, I have no idea. I would say that was between 1990 and 1993. There are other memories as a baby, but I don't know if they are based on photos I saw later on, recorded dreams, imaginations, or what others told me. Odd ones include dad leaving to serve the army from mom's point of view, and me in a water bag with nothing but darkness around me. There was also me in a pram and being played with my older sister at the doorstep, drinking from a cup or bottle of milk that had a I-have-no-idea-what-it-is added for me to drink from, and even crawling under the blanket of the bed my parents were sleeping in.

We walked around the entire building when Saeko, without warning, stopped to unlock a door that is doesn't seem to stand out from the other rooms there except for the words on the sign. The room appears to be where things like stationery and old documents are kept. I don't know how old the stationary are as they seemed to be in mint condition, but the design of the packaging looks old. It feels strange to see something that is old as when brand new, though it is possible for the manufacturer to not change after all the years, particularly ones made overseas. Saeko: "I have asked some employees that I've known from my Kamisugi High days to come here for help. They are on the way here from the research departments now." She went searching through documents, theories, research, and sketches that are handwritten dating to some months before I entered university in America. I could actually recognize some of them. They had Saeko's handwriting with her name on

My 21st birthday less than a month away and how times seem to have passed. My memories before 2006 weren't clear: probably the trauma I had that year that had the old me placed aside. My stress level was so high that my mind couldn't handle it and probably made me forget things. I don't even remember anything from kindergarten and primary school other than what the place looked like. I don't remember the names or faces I've met. What I've learn has so much become a part of me (languages, etc.) that I kind of forgot where and how I learn it. My coming-of-age-day was just earlier last month, and my mind is saying that it's still winter even though the heavy rain and the hot weather of summer. It's like the time has been fast-forwarded. Coming across a (64MB) memory card that had media relating to Spring 2007 anime, I realized that it was from more than a year ago. I was thinking that it's still 2007 or 2008, but it's already halfway through 201

Walking along the street, I thought about the course of action that I should take. It might not seem hard at a glance, but the chain reaction as a cause of it should be taken into account too, which is a complicated thing to predict. Before I knew it, a group of foreigners who were looking at the city map stopped me to ask for directions as I was the only person around they could ask. I wonder where they are from? They look foreign, but they don't seem to be from western countries either. It seems that they are trying to visit a house of someone they know who was sent here for work reasons. However, only the address in Latin characters were given and nothing else except the phone number, which is of a mobile phone. The address system in Japan can be quite confusing, even to the locals, without a map. To make matters worse, all of the signs that mark the posting areas and maps of the city like the one they are looking at, contain only Japanese text. Even the order the address is w

Sure enough, mother wasn't around when we reached home. Itsuki: "I would like to show you me transforming back, but it wouldn't work if you were to even wait for me outside our room or have active cameras pointing at me. Why don't you cook dinner or watch TV while waiting. Since I was distracted, I wasn't paying attention to how much time has passed. Then, I could tell that Itsuki calling me and what he's saying to me, but I couldn't hear him. I could see Itsuki in this form better than earlier, but something is odd about how my mind is registering what I'm seeing. Not wanting to wanting to wait for mother to come back, along with the work that I have to do, I headed back home.. I thought I heard Itsuki wanting to give me a "force to stare at myself" sometime in the future, but didn't think about it. ***** Fast forward to the beginning of my third year there. As a rough gauge of what time I'm in, the topics that anime f

Since around 2005 until January 2010, there has been someone who has been copying everything I did and claiming it as theirs, even the way words are phrased. It started from a particular site the both of us went to, but never knew each other, that allowed customization to the profile layout. At first, it was just a random "view other people's profile through another" thing, but I was shocked to see how similar to my profile it is, or a revision before the current one. I kept a close eye on the situation, but careful not to alert that I'm being copied. As I was creating the initial version of the "Anime Watch List" with text as transparent background PNG images (the site didn't support non-ASCII characters then), it became more apparent that the person is copying me due to the blue or white background being added to the copied image that is mostly due to IE6 ( yes, the browser most business stubbornly still use today despite 2 newer versions out already

My peaceful sleep was rudely interrupted by my children who were shaking me desperately for whatever they wanted. Saeko isn't around, and my husband usually leaves and arrives back from work without his presence known. I seem to be the only one who didn't see him as my children and Saeko saw him. Speaking of my children, I don't really know much of them, including their names. Saeko does seem to treasure them a lot, and, when they are younger, they couldn't tell Saeko and my husband apart. How a child grows depends on what their parents do (or don't do) to them, things they encounter, and actions of others at a particular given time. Something as simple as not letting the children out or fetching them directly from school can make a difference in them finding a friend, encountering something dangerous, discovering something new, and so on. They could have not even unveiled their hidden potential and might rely on me too much if I am too protective of them. I don'

For the past few weeks, I seem to be loosing things without me noticing, it's like there's a phantom thief at my workplace. The value I lost from this mysterious thief (or thieves) is about 36000 yen worth of things. This includes my 3rd gen iPod Touch you might have seen me being upset about around then. I've also lost some high-denomination notes too, but the low-denomination ones are still there. The problem is, I don't even have a clu What a bunch of dishonest colleagues of mine. When lending my stuff to people, I have to look at the location and situation. More importantly, their personality. With my colleagues, there's a 20% that my stuff would be returned. This has been dropped from 75% and above when I first came. Heck, those colleges already gave me a bad first impressions during my first few days there. A lot worse than the people I've met during my studying years combined. I've lost my emotions for many years now that I don't know what

[ Author's note: In reference to the Saeko mentioned before Part 35 , but takes place just a few years after Part 52 , the latest part I had written at the time of writing.] After we look through some paperwork behind the apartment we are buying at inside the unit in question, I signed the paper that has the names Haneda Keiichi and Haneda Saeko on it. Yes, I am married, with my maiden name being Hisakawa. We took the same train and the same carriage between Kamisugi and Inami (with Katsura in between) since middle school, but never really talked to each other. I have this feeling that he spotted me more often than me spotting me, as though he had predicted that I would take a particular train at a particular time just to look at me. He was so shy that I didn't notice him until my graduation from Mihara Academy as a student where he confessed to me. In fact, he was on the train that had killed Miyazawa Kotomi and spotted (a clone of) me crying a lot and the only one closest

The greenery and the Victorian design makes me not think about how old the buildings are. The only ones that does say its age are the dormitory buildings, which is built fairly recently. Upon arriving of the place Itsuki wanted to bring me to, I realized that there are even fewer people working here than the Inami branch. In fact, instead of a male majority at any given place, there are exclusively only females here, or at least appear to be. Itsuki: "Saeko-chan, relax. I don't have the intention to torture you as usual as I lack the gene that makes me do so with my current form, so I don't have the mood to do so anyway. We brought you here as we noted that you are very likely to end up here after you graduated from Kamisugi High and that you might get very frightened if you were to suddenly gain knowledge about guys. Your damaged brain tells me that it doesn't know what guys are at all." With that, he made me look into something that resembles a microscope

Seeing that buying the upgrade disc of Windows 7 Home Premium didn't go through so well after I saw the price and it having the controversial copy protection on it, it just isn't worth my money on it. So, since I've been wanting a PS3 since it's launch and me being deprived of happiness inside me for a long time (years, in fact), it seems a better choice. I know it seems silly to compare an operating system upgrade disc with a gaming console (plays blu-Ray too), but both are something I have been wanting and costs a lot. Having used Ubuntu before, that first option doesn't seem likely. I've observed some issues like the 1st March 2010 clock issue, the recent removal of the OtherOS feature, and other issues. But these doesn't matter to me. I've also been looking around for the prices too. I know of places that sell cheaper, but those are usually the last I would check. Also, I have to check if it's the original version or the newer slim version. Since

I found out that this Fatt Guk name that Takagi mentioned actually refers to the Hong Kong division of the Hatsuya institute as a result of reading the kanji wrongly when registering the official name there. I'm mysteriously still alive after being shot in the head somehow. The story that was told to everyone was that it was not fatal enough for me to die, but the actual truth is very fatal. The part of my brain that is damaged only made me forget... something. If I know what it was, that wouldn't be counted as forgotten. They did tell me what it was, but my brain can't process what is missing as though it never knew what it was. Although I still need bandages around my head and legs, I was discharged from hospital three months later and they sent me back to Kamisugi. They said that I would be able to resume back as before the incident within 4 years the most. However, the 3 months means that I've missed the school festival in September, and the winter vacation is not t

So, just after I called Saeko regarding the programming convention in 2005, I had some time to myself in this ridiculously large office. It was not easy obtaining information from her as she seemed to change subjects due to the fact that we are too close to talk in a professional way. I mean, if I were to talk to my mother as the head of my branch and her as the client, I would have to talk to her professionally. But since that client is my parent, I am very tempted to talk informally and off-topic as compared to someone I've only known at work. Also, I don't know why I see my children as nothing more than living things that came out of me and wonder how my body is able to make them. I mean, I know about the human reproductive cycle and, I don't know: it's like I'm studying about what humans do and the cycle of life, but didn't think it that I'm a human too and did not think that it would apply to me until it happened. Anyways, this visitor who had greet

With the time spent preparing my club for the festival and helping out my classmates, there are only a few weeks left before the end of the holidays. With Itsuki now having fallen ill, I don't know how much time I have left. That is, if I were to take care of him. Mother:  "Saeko-chan. I appreciate you taking care of him, but aren't you supposed to have your break too? He might have been too ill to tell you this, but he wants you to collect documents all the way from somewhere in Hong Kong in his place." Aren't you contradicting what you just said? Having me go to a far-away place just to collect something. But what about customs? For me, things like my thumbprint are exactly the same as Itsuki's and might cause confusions. As for the passport, well, there isn't an issue as the thumbprint looks the same and my current name there is reflected there instead of the one from the other dimension, but I don't know what the person at the counter is doin

From what I have read, I might have aphasia ( 失語症 ). I don't know why my spoken vocabulary is a lot different than my writing vocabulary, with the former being more limited. In fact, just trying to speak alone takes up a lot of effort. My mother said that I had a seizure somewhere just after I was born. I don't know the exact details of it though. What kind of aphasia do I have? As you can see, I can write meaningful sentences and not add meaningless words in it. If you had read the stories I wrote here for the past 20 months, or my Twitter posts ("tweets") for the past 15 months, you would have known that. Then again, I can't write as quickly as I type. Of course, I can understand speech too, or you wouldn't have noticed me talking about it unless it's about a silent film from more than a century ago or post screenshots with subtitles on it. Who knows, I'm not an expert in the medical field. I might not even have it, but the symptoms mentioned are

We spent the whole day trying out various hairstyles and clothes my mother was willing to give me. She seems to have some old clothes that have yet to be opened from their shopping bags. A fraction of those seemed expensive and another seemed to have been bought before I was born. Me: "Er, mom? Why do you have so many shoes and clothes I've never seen you wear before?" Mother: "Me and your dad bought them at flee market and discount sales at department stores. Others were what I have only worn once for various interviews. I don't have much space left to store these, but I would rather give them away to a family member than to throwing or selling them away." I already have a lot of clothes and shoes, but I shouldn't reject her offer either and... and... oh great. I'm starting to feel sleepy and can't think as I would want to and my thoughts are now filled with nothing but wanting to sleep. Mother: "You seemed tired. Why don't y

I have found myself awake shortly before the alarm rang. I don't know how I'm able to do that. The summer vacation is still ongoing and I should be having time to myself, but people who rely on me too much are still contacting me. Didn't I tell them not to contact me except in real emergencies? Sadly, they didn't take me seriously, they hardly do except a few. As though he could read my mind from very far away, Itsuki invited me to stay at my parent's house at Inami City. I have not been there lately due to the traveling times to and from Kamisugi City, which is where I am currently staying. Itsuki could afford to do so as taking care of me is part of his job. I wonder if he's staying elsewhere? My house in Kamisugi City is within the Powell Institute Headquarters. I have to follow the dress code to avoid them stopping me unnecessarily as I head to the parking area. Fortunately, I don't need to carry my luggage, so they won't stop me for carrying p

First off, I'm going to talk about the new spring 2010 anime first. Of course, I'm not repeating titles that has already been mentioned before. Kiss x Sis (キス✕シス) Based on a manga and has a DVD that comes with one of its volumes. As I found out, there are 4 planned OVAs, with the 4th coming out soon. Based on what I saw, from those and the pre-broadcast episode, it's kind of... well, not what I'm looking out for. Kaicho wa Maid-sama (会長はメイド球) I don't know what to say as I know very little about it. It takes place in a recently-turned co-ed school, so there are still dominantly males there. She's the school's student council president who has to deal with guys that bully the minority girls. A friend asked the protagonist to help out at a maid cafe and cover her expenses. As she's helping out there, she was spotted by... okay, my interest has already wandered at this point, actually from the point I saw "Maid" in the title. B B-gata H-k